Is it just me or.....

[Karlie06]

Hi all, Just wondering if other parents of children with special needs get totally peeved with the unfairness of it all? My boy is seven he is severly autistic and has global learning delay also. This means he has no speech at all, limited understanding and lots of very extreme and aggressive behaviours as well as many other things. He goes to a special school and his teacher is a cow basically but he has one to one with a wonderful lady so that's good. Most days are fine, we manage as both my husband and I had to give up our jobs to look after him as we cannot leave him in the care of anyone else as his behaviours are so extreme if his routine changes. We had a baby girl almost five months ago and this hasn't upset him too much at all which was a pleasant surprise! However, some days I feel so cross with what life has dealt him. It's just Sooooooo unfair that boys his age are playing, talking and having fun and are carefree and he is stressing most of the time. He is an amazing boy who is loved dearly and would not be without because he is so precious but I can't help but feel sometimes life is a bitch to him. Anyone else know how I feel?

 

[Marleysgirl]

Yep. I hear you

 

[luckybreak]

I totally understand just take it one day at the time, it doesn't help any to compare your precious one to what other little ones are doing and what he is missing in life, it will just break your little heart.

 

[Tommee]

I feel the same way hun & my DS is only 2 there's so much I want to say but hold back. I also have a DD she's 4 months old luckily DS seems to have accepted her. We're just waiting for appointments which seem to be taking an age. I'm so fed up I know I shouldn't compare him but it's hard not to. Life can be so cruel xx

 

[Karlie06]

I feel the same way hun & my DS is only 2 there's so much I want to say but hold back. I also have a DD she's 4 months old luckily DS seems to have accepted her. We're just waiting for appointments which seem to be taking an age. I'm so fed up I know I shouldn't compare him but it's hard not to. Life can be so cruel xx

Sending you lots of

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

I understand. I know life is hard but honestly deep down, I would not met the most amazing people had life not flew me to Holland! xx

 

[DanielleM]

I do know what you mean my son has cerebral palsy and it breaks my heart seeing his friends running around and he is sat on the sidelines in his wheelchair. Life is so cruel. xx

 

[luckybreak]

I do know what you mean my son has cerebral palsy and it breaks my heart seeing his friends running around and he is sat on the sidelines in his wheelchair. Life is so cruel. xx

You know he can still have a normal life unless of course he has some mental delays, let me tell a little about my story my ex husband has cerebral palsy and 2 other brothers were born with it also, my ex and his middle brother's legs were affected so they used wheelchairs for long trips but mostly canes and things like that for support the youngest one is completely on a wheelchair and is 27 years old but mentally he is like 5.

My ex and his brother went to college mine graduated in law and works in a great law firm and his brother graduated with honors from a very expensive and well known university with a finance degree and now he works for a bank.

I met and fell in love with my ex regardless of his disability, to the public his walking was all weird looking but it never bothered me none, I loved him and we married and had a gorgeous child!

why is he my ex?

Because sometimes parents of special needs children want to protected them soo much from the world and they feel guilty that their child did not get a normal childhood that they forget to let them make mistakes and try new things...my ex wanted to be a professional basketball player since he was little and his parents told him he could be whatever he wanted to be so he grew up thinking he could be that...I think it is great to tell your children that but at some point you have to let them know what they can really do due to their disability..so when I met him he was frustrated due to his dream not coming true, working as a dishwasher person at some restaurant. I encouraged him to follow his second interest in life which was law, and I mean really push him like going to the school with him to get it all done and taking him to school and everything because he was dragging his feet he felt that by doing this he thought he was giving up his dream of professional basketball but I told him he can still love the sport, volunteer to coach special needs or even other kids etc etc but he had to do something else and he finally came around and did great! but his mama was still unwilling to let go of the cord and that created such a huge problem in our marriage that it ended in divorce and he is back living with his mama again and now I am remarried...it hurts because I knew that at some point in his life I would have to take care of him for the rest of his life but that never bothered me none I wanted to grow old with this man...now I hope and pray he finds somebody else so he won't end up alone.

 

[RebeccaG]

 

[JASMAK]

Yeah, I feel like that too sometimes...no matter how positive I try to be...it's the shits.

 

[Wynterheart]

I understand.

 

[Novabomb]

I understand.

just want to say you lo in your pic is so cute

 

[Novabomb]

I have to say my lo has more learning disability then physical disability's how ever my BF of 15 yrs has a 4 yr old with a lot of different physical and mental disability's and I understand what you are saying because I find myself thinking how unfair it is that this sweet angel that always is smiling from ear to ear will never walk talk and just be able to communicate with her mother and others it is just not fair

 

[BabyBoo36]

There are people with disabilities far worse than my LO's, but it doesn't stop me feeling angry that this happened to her, and to us sometimes. I don't think we'd be human if we didn't have those days xx

 

[Karlie06]

I am finding that my 6 month old baby girl can do things at my 7 year old cant. She is already communicating better than him! She also knows if she drops something, it's still there and will cry for it while he didn't learn this till he was 4 years old. I don't think you ever accept a child's disability ( I know I won't), but you appreciate every single precious thing they can do because it's a massive achievement but I still get angry on his behave because it really isn't fair, but life is what you make of it!

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

I dont think I am angry over it, I have probably had a lot more time to deal with it though as he is 7 now. For me its just like this is my life and thats how it is. I dont feel worse off than anyone else. I feel blessed in some ways but I do hate the school system/statementing issue and other peoples opinions on my child xx