Is it just me? Please help :-/

[hotpinkangel]

Hi, I'm Emma. I have 3 children, 2 boys and a girl they are my world. The reason I am asking for help/advice is because of my 4 year old son, I'm concerned about his behaviour which has been going on for over a year. I'm a bit concerned with him starting school in 5 weeks, he seems to have a really short attention span - can't sit down and concentrate, gets bored VERY easily. He's extremely bouncy, bounces off walls, breaks things, does things for no apparent reason then just shrugs and says 'sorry' when asked why. Or 'I don't know'. He doesn't seem to have any sense of danger on roads, it's scary. He refuses to hold my hand and even though I hold it he's so strong he just pulls away. He runs straight on to roads despite constant reminding that it's dangerous, cars may hit him, etc. he just can't seem to understand. He's aggressive, shouts, smacks, pushes his baby brother over for nothing, picks fights with his older sister or just walks up and hits her. His temper is awful, and his mood just changes in the blink of an eye, I admit sometimes I feel like I can't control him. I'd like opinions please, is this just normal 4 year old boy behaviour and I'm over reacting? Or would you be concerned? He just doesn't listen to me xxxxx thanks for reading xxx

 

[hotpinkangel]

Anyone?? X

 

[jcombs35]

My son who is now 7 was the same way. During his preschool years, I spent a lot of time talking with his teacher, who offered suggestions as that we try together to find out what was triggering his ill moods. We discovered that change in routine, and being rushed was usually what it was. So we started working on letting him know first thing what the day entailed. I tried to give him as much notice as possible before he had to hurry up and do something.

2 years later, when he was in kindergarten, things were just getting worse. He got suspended out of school twice! I tried everything. Spanking, taking away privileges, grounding, time outs, making him do extra chores, etc. I asked his teacher if she thought he might have something more wrong with him, and she said of course not. He was just "all boy." He was destructive, moody, unaffectionate, liked to start fights with his siblings, and would often take dangerous risks. Finally, when it began to feel like I had done something terribly wrong as a mother, I brought it up to his doctor.

She referred us to a psychologist, who diagnosed him with ADHD, Oppositional Defiant Disorder, and a slow working memory. He was put on medication for it, and we did counseling to learn how to be better parents to him. It has helped tremendously. Now he gets straight A's in school. When we talk to him, he actively listens and makes eye contact.

You should bring it up to your doctor at your next visit.

 

[hotpinkangel]

Thank you do much, I feel like I'm a bad mum, not being able to control my child, people look at me and I feel awful. He starts school in September. I'll speak to my doctor. Thank you so much xx

 

[jcombs35]

You're very welcome. I felt the same way. He'd act up, and I'd do my best to stop him, and everyone would just stare. I couldn't figure out where I had gone wrong with him because my other two didn't act like that. The tears were flowing when he was finally diagnosed, because I finally knew it wasn't my fault.