is it normal to still think like this

[Nataliieexo]

Ive spoke to a few people about it and they said it hasn't carried on for them.

Obviously when you have a newborn you worry something will happen to them.

But my lo turned one last Monday and I still quite a few nights a week lie in bed threating about him, sometimes I end up with tears in my eyes because of the thoughts.
The other night I had to wake my oh and make sure he shut his window because in my mind he was going to be abducted and all sorts of horrible things.
One time it was my grandma carrying him down the stairs and falling, now when I go to hers I can't let her carry him down the stairs.

I did have a touch of pnd the thoughts I had when he was first born even about other people were just unreal but I real believed in them at the time.

I've been fine ever since I still have my down days from losing my mam a year and a half ago but that's to be expected.

 

[EcoMama]

I think it's normal to have these thoughts but not for it to consume your head all the time.
My ds is nearly 6 and I worry about lots of things, like when he gets in to the car with someone else driving and I'm not in the car... E.g he's going on a school trip on fri and I worry that they bus will crash. But most likely it won't and it's not a good enough reason to stop him going, but I still worry.

I did lay in bed the other night wondering why on earth I had children, because I now can't bare to be without them and would be devistated (obviously) if something happened to them and they weren't here anymore. So would it have been easier just to not have had them.... But then I shake it off and think of how amazing it is to have them around

 

[Cattia]

I still have these thoughts too, although they don't consume me but I do sometimes get them in the middle of the night. I worry about car accidents, them getting knocked over, someone abducting them, them getting a really serious illness etc etc. Sometimes I think about parents in war zones and how they must feel. When my DD1 was younger I remember worrying about a plane crashing into her room! Nuts!! Anyway, I suffer from anxiety and personally I know that for me, whilst these thoughts are normal, I have to be careful that they don't take over, that's when it could become a problem.

 

[hanni]

I get these thoughts as well, I don't imagine they will ever go away. Loving someone so much is seriously scary.

I mean seriously.. I cry at the walking dead thinking of how I'd care for my son around in that situation. He's 4 months old and I still sit in the back seat of that car with him incase we have an accident, I just imagine how scared and upset he would be if something happened and it brings me to tears 😳

You're not the only one, and I don't imagine they'll ever stop!

 

[Bella1185]

It's normal to have these thoughts and worries but not to have them consume you or overtake your life. I have a new fear every week! Just recently I started really worrying about when dd drives (which is 15 years from now)

Not sure these thoughts ever go away? Hell my 90 year old grandma called me just a few days ago all worried because she saw on the news that there is a drought where my dad (her son) lives and should she send him bottled water? my dad is 60 years old gainfully employed in a lovely home with tons of running water lol! But to her; he's still her baby

 

[lcmorla]

I think worrying is normal as a parent. My daughter is almost 3 months. I'm constantly thinking about leaving her in her stroller in a parking lot then driving off. Also, I worry that someone is going to go through our open window and take her--we're in an apartment ground level and it's hot so the windows are wide open but we're in a one bdrm apt right now and we can hear just about everything!

 

[Zephram]

Those are called intrusive thoughts, I think.

My OH has intrusive thoughts and OCD and anxiety and often gets 'stuck' stressing about something happening to our LO, like him running out in the street and getting hit by a car, etc. It's really distressing to him.

I think there's definitely a link between PND and anxiety and these sorts of thoughts. As others have said, it is natural to worry, but it's not okay for those thoughts to consume you or to stress you out to the point you're describing. I would say that it's worth a talk to someone like a doctor to see what you might be able to do to lessen the stress it's causing you.

In the meantime try to remind yourself that stressing over a thought can't affect what happens to your LO. Having the thought isn't going to make it happen, if you see what I mean.

 

[catty]

I dont really think like this. I do worry about my children with things like choking etc but I dont lie awake worrying to that extent. is it possible you have anxiety or something similar? it sounds like these worries are affecting your life if you cant sleep id maybe consult a doctor

 

[dan-o]

Deffo sounds like intrusive thoughts. I'd never heard of them until I read a post on here and then googled it, just thought I had an overactive imagination lol! x

 

[Cattia]

I read a really interesting book on OCD (not suggesting that you have OCD but it deals with intrusivet thoughts ) It is called The Imp Of The Mind. Can't remember who it's by, but it basically explains that everyone has these random thoughts about things that are really bad or upsetting but most people are able to ignore or dismiss them as justfleeting thoughts. With OCD (and I think also with anxiety) you get stuck on the thought and can't dismiss it. For example, a healthy perrson might think 'what if I hurt my baby' but they would be able to dismiss it and think 'of course that won't happen, what a ridiculous thought' where as the person with OCD or anxiety will think that because they have had the thought it might actually happen, then the thought becomes something disruptive that they dwell on more and more. I probably haven't explained it very well but the book really is good and helps you to deal with faulty thinking.

 

[Nataliieexo]

Thank you for all the replys, i have been considering going to the drs for months to see what they said but kept putting it off. I suffered slightly with anxiety through my pregnancy again not alot but sometimes.

I would probably say this all stems from losing my mam as it had a great impact on my life and i just couldnt bare anything to happen to him too, i know everyone feels that way so im not sure why i have to go a bit further with the thoughts.
x

 

[minties]

I have some anxiety issues and intrusive thoughts. They stem from a traumatic event with my daughter and it is hard to shut them out.