Is it ok to tell a man he is fat?

[ShanandBoc]

We all know its bad manners to say to a woman ' wow u have put on weight' but what about a man? Reason im asking is my DH has put on weight the last couple years but isnt fat as such yet people seem to find it acceptable to comment on it and make fun of him.....his mum does it, his friends ( both male and female) say stuff. I think its rude. They wouldnt dream of saying it if he was female....... i dont get it? so debate away.....is it wrong / rude to comment on a mans weight in a derogatary way? or just a womans?

 

[Ozzieshunni]

Just because he's a guy, doesn't mean he doesn't have feelings too

My DH is very thin and gets hurt if I say he looks too thin.

 

[Erised]

No, it's not ok to tell him he's fat just because he's male. You don't tell someone they're fat, joking or not ... no matter whether they're male or female. Feelings remain the same, both human after all.

Hope your DH is ok about it

 

[midori1999]

No, of course it's not OK, but for some reason some people do seem to think it's more acceptable than telling a woman she's fat!

My husband's family are dreadful for this. His Mum had recently seen my stepson and said to my husband 'he's very thin like your brother, not tubby like you'. WTF?! She and her whole family are looks/image obsessed and very prejudiced against overweight people. As a result my husband is a bit on the obsessed side with his weight and thinks he is fat, which he is not.

 

[chefamy1122]

My husband travels a lot for his job, and its very easy to eat bad stuff while on the road. He was overweight for a while, and had a lot of friends and business acquaintances that were always very rude to him about it. Saying stuff "jokingly" but it still hurt his feelings. it gave him motivation to get healthy and prove them all wrong.
Whats funny is now he has lost about 100 pounds (and still losing) and some of the same jerks that were messing with him are starting to put on weight.

 

[twinkle1975]

DH gets really cross about this - I'm much heavier than him but no one ever says rude things about me to my face - but people are always poking his stomach, asking if he's put weight on etc. One woman at his work even squeezed his moobs - can you imagine if a man did that to a woman at work??!!

 

[Emma&Freya]

No certainly not!

My Dad maes comments about my sisters weight and it affects her and she has the attitude of I dont give a shit but when its about weight she does.

 

[holly2234]

Its not ok to say it to anybody! It will hurt anybodies feelings to have that said to them, man or woman.

 

[AP]

Nope! Guys care more than you'd imagine about their weight

 

[StarrySkies]

No definately not.. It's not nice atall for anyone really is it I wouldn't dream about telling anyone thay were fat or had put on weight. Man or woman.

I guess some people assume that because they are male they can take it on the chin and rise above the critcism more then what a woman could?

x

 

[ShanandBoc]

Thanks girls im glad u all agree.... DH just laughs it off but i always feel like saying something but dont know what to say. His mum drives me mad with it as she pokes fun at it almost every time we see her but then again she likes to find anything to put him down about. A female friend of DH's who used to be very close contaced him recently said to him ' youre fat' . I couldnt believe it. I dont know why people think its acceptable cause he is male? Mods for some reason my thread has been duplicated too??

 

[blueskai]

DH gets really cross about this - I'm much heavier than him but no one ever says rude things about me to my face - but people are always poking his stomach, asking if he's put weight on etc. One woman at his work even squeezed his moobs - can you imagine if a man did that to a woman at work??!!

This! ^^

Hubby isn't even fat by any count, he's only 12stone, but it's the heaviest he's been and still people comment that he's put weight on and poke his belly? (my belly puts his to shame) I can see he may have put about a stone on since we were married, but I don't think he looks any worse for it, and I wouldn't dream of telling ANYBODY that they look fat, I think that's a terrible thing to say.

xo

 

[Kelz22]

I think its wrong to call anyone fat no matter what sex they are. I wouldnt dream of saying that to anyone.

 

[Donna35]

No you shouldn't say it to nayone. Now it's different IMO if a girl says it to her partner (or vice versa) but not in so many words maybe as an enquiry about their health etc and encouraging them to get healthier but even so needs handled SO carefully

 

[marley2580]

No you shouldn't say it to nayone. Now it's different IMO if a girl says it to her partner (or vice versa) but not in so many words maybe as an enquiry about their health etc and encouraging them to get healthier but even so needs handled SO carefully

I agree, my OH is overweight and I've had to find ways of telling him how worried I am about it.

 

[dizzydoll]

No you shouldn't say it to nayone. Now it's different IMO if a girl says it to her partner (or vice versa) but not in so many words maybe as an enquiry about their health etc and encouraging them to get healthier but even so needs handled SO carefully

Agreed, it's so rude to tell someone regardless of sex that they are fat.
If yo are concerned about someones weight there are ways to approach it with tact and offer support rather than criticism and rudeness.

 

[iBabyGirli]

Depends on how the man carries himself and how much self-esteem he has.

 

[ShanandBoc]

I agree that if its someone close to u that ur worried about you can suggest ways to help them. But this is not on.....we caught up with his friend last night for the first time in ages " ***** ******! Man you have put on weight". This came from a female who had just had a baby.

 

[ShanandBoc]

Depends on how the man carries himself and how much self-esteem he has.

I dont think thats an excuse to be rude tho

 

[ShanandBoc]

Depends on how the man carries himself and how much self-esteem he has.

I dont think thats an excuse to be rude tho