M
mommy2be84
Guest
Hi I'm newbie on this site, I'm 28 yrs old , married and expecting my first child.
I can say I'm happily married woman in most part, but recently i have this feeling of depression and don't have friends that i would be comfortable to talk about this matter because I don't want them to judge me or my husband.
This baby is my first but my husband's 2nd baby, his 1st is already 16 yrs old, he is not married to the mom and I'm his first wife, his 1st child is some sort of baby's mommy's plan but not daddy, they are both young 18 & 19 at that time. Im 25 when i married my husband and he is 33. we are inlove and God knows how much i love him and love this family i have with him. Its a dream come true
Well i will go to the reason of this thread im creating, i just want an honest opinion, am i being unreasonable? or if im asking too much? i feel terrible recently to the point where I cry my eyes out but i don't know how to express my disappointment, i don't want to create a fight between me and him.
I'm already on my 3rd trimester, I have a job but I don't make much money, hubby is the main bread winner. I only work part time and only makes $1,300-1,700 / month but i try to be a good wife, i cook, clean and do everything in the house after work or days im not working because i loved too. Since I'm already in my 3rd tri and i have full month vacation from work, im very excited to do my baby's room, i already have what decorations i like in mind. I don't have vices or anything (not drinking or smoking even when im not pregnant), i don't buy expensive stuff like purses etc, i like bargains and cheap stuff. But recently I felt like no matter how simple the things i like i felt like, hubby don't appreciate it by making me feel like i demand too much or im unreasonable, he didnt say it directly but his remarks made me feel that way.
I told him that on my vacation month from work i would like to start the baby room, he said i should find something else to do that won't spend money. I thought thats weird response, because i thought preparing for baby' room is something meaningful to do while on vacation from work, i didn't say im gonna shop here and there, im willing to compromise, buy 2nd hand stuff for baby then clean them, but i want to make the room as what i envision it. I'm crafty person, i love pinterest and i get ideas from there.
I make it to the point to express to him tonight that i felt like he is being to thrifty when it comes to our own daughter, he said he is not he provides what his daughter needs, well he is talking about his other daughter from ex who turned 16 and she just bought her a car yesterday, used car not expensive one , he just recently send $2,000 for it. so i said im not talking about her im talking about our baby, so he said well the baby doesn't know what the baby room like, the baby doesn't care, i don't want to spend a lot of money when baby don't even understand those things yet, maybe when she is old enough to express what she wants i will do that.
This makes me so sad because i felt like i don't really get the support that i need,i been waiting for this moment for long time and my dream is crushed! i felt like im the only one who is excited, i felt like i don't have the right to spend money even if im working for it too, i felt like i dont have freedom or he dont even care about my happiness.
Yes its probably true that baby isn't aware of it yet, how cute her room will be, but as a first time mom, this what will makes me happy, i want to experience doing a cute nursery, take picture of it for my baby's book and to be able to show her and able to tell her the story how i prepare for her arrival. Those kind of things that i don't wanna miss. Am i being ridiculous in wanting this things.
If you are in my shoes are you gonna be upset too? or not? Thanks for reading
I can say I'm happily married woman in most part, but recently i have this feeling of depression and don't have friends that i would be comfortable to talk about this matter because I don't want them to judge me or my husband.
This baby is my first but my husband's 2nd baby, his 1st is already 16 yrs old, he is not married to the mom and I'm his first wife, his 1st child is some sort of baby's mommy's plan but not daddy, they are both young 18 & 19 at that time. Im 25 when i married my husband and he is 33. we are inlove and God knows how much i love him and love this family i have with him. Its a dream come true
Well i will go to the reason of this thread im creating, i just want an honest opinion, am i being unreasonable? or if im asking too much? i feel terrible recently to the point where I cry my eyes out but i don't know how to express my disappointment, i don't want to create a fight between me and him.
I'm already on my 3rd trimester, I have a job but I don't make much money, hubby is the main bread winner. I only work part time and only makes $1,300-1,700 / month but i try to be a good wife, i cook, clean and do everything in the house after work or days im not working because i loved too. Since I'm already in my 3rd tri and i have full month vacation from work, im very excited to do my baby's room, i already have what decorations i like in mind. I don't have vices or anything (not drinking or smoking even when im not pregnant), i don't buy expensive stuff like purses etc, i like bargains and cheap stuff. But recently I felt like no matter how simple the things i like i felt like, hubby don't appreciate it by making me feel like i demand too much or im unreasonable, he didnt say it directly but his remarks made me feel that way.
I told him that on my vacation month from work i would like to start the baby room, he said i should find something else to do that won't spend money. I thought thats weird response, because i thought preparing for baby' room is something meaningful to do while on vacation from work, i didn't say im gonna shop here and there, im willing to compromise, buy 2nd hand stuff for baby then clean them, but i want to make the room as what i envision it. I'm crafty person, i love pinterest and i get ideas from there.
I make it to the point to express to him tonight that i felt like he is being to thrifty when it comes to our own daughter, he said he is not he provides what his daughter needs, well he is talking about his other daughter from ex who turned 16 and she just bought her a car yesterday, used car not expensive one , he just recently send $2,000 for it. so i said im not talking about her im talking about our baby, so he said well the baby doesn't know what the baby room like, the baby doesn't care, i don't want to spend a lot of money when baby don't even understand those things yet, maybe when she is old enough to express what she wants i will do that.
This makes me so sad because i felt like i don't really get the support that i need,i been waiting for this moment for long time and my dream is crushed! i felt like im the only one who is excited, i felt like i don't have the right to spend money even if im working for it too, i felt like i dont have freedom or he dont even care about my happiness.
Yes its probably true that baby isn't aware of it yet, how cute her room will be, but as a first time mom, this what will makes me happy, i want to experience doing a cute nursery, take picture of it for my baby's book and to be able to show her and able to tell her the story how i prepare for her arrival. Those kind of things that i don't wanna miss. Am i being ridiculous in wanting this things.
If you are in my shoes are you gonna be upset too? or not? Thanks for reading
