Is it weird...

[vhal_x]

Just wondering what all you girls think. I think I'm probably just being weird and whatever but I really can't help it .

Me and my OH have only been together since the start of February, by mid March we had found out we are expecting.

Now don't get me wrong, he is honestly the most amazing boyfriend I could ask for, and does nothing to deserve this, but I get awfully jealous of his ex.

They split up in November last year, after 2 and a bit years together (I think, if I remember correctly) and I split up with my ex in January this year (after almost 3 years together).

He isn't jealous of the relationship I had with my ex, but I'm insanely jealous of his with his ex.

Both of us lost our virginities with our exes, and have only ever slept with our exes and each other (so 2 people each). So it's nothing to do with the fact of him having more partners previously to me.

I know I had a longer relationship with my ex than he had, but him and his ex were engaged, and I think, sorry know that's why I'm so jealous.

Especially as when they split up, he took the ring back (planning to sell it/get rid of it) but he still has it.

The fact it's still in his wardrobe makes me sooo jealous, and the fact that they were engaged makes me want to cry because I feel like when he finally asks me to marry him (he has already planned it out in his mind, don't worry he's buying me a new ring!), I don't think it will mean as much to him because it's not his first time proposing

Am I being totally weird or is it understandable to feel this way?

I really hope that when we do get engaged it will mean more to him than when he proposed to her, but I'm really scared incase his first time doing it was better or she reacted better than I will (of course I'm going to be over the moon, but what if she seemed happier than I will?).

God, I'm f*cking my mind about here Sorry girls, just had to get it all out haha xx​

 

[Burchy314]

I think it is understandable. I know I would be jealous too if I was in your position. I think it is kind of weird that he still has the ring, but I don't know why he does. Maybe he just keeps forgetting to sell it, I don't know because well I am not him. And trust me just because it isn't his first time proposing doesn't mean that it doesn't mean as much. It will mean more because of you. It is all about the person you are proposing to. I wouldn't stress about how you react when he does it, because as long as you say yes then he will be happy.

I hope that helped some.

 

[rainbows_x]

Oh hun I totally understand!
I get funny about my OH's ex's (and there's alot of them! ) but he isn't jealous of any of mine (also, been quite a few!).

I was engaged before I got with my OH, but I can assure you, if my OH proposed to me now it would feel so much more special, as I am so totally in love with him, yes I was in love with my ex but not half as much as my OH. So don't worry about it not meaning as much to him, I'm sure it did!

We wern't together long before becoming pregnant either, broke up with ex in June, moved into OH's house & became pregnanct late August, became "official" in August, miscarriage in September & became pregnant in November. I am sure his ex couldn't be futher from his ming, he has you, and a little one on the way!

Try not to worry yourself

 

[vhal_x]

Thanks girls, you've cheered me up a bit I don't know, I just get really weird about it some days, and other days I'm just like "meh..." and don't really care. Probably doesn't help with all the pregnancy hormones I guess xx​

 

[Tanara]

I was engaged to my ex, And i still have the ring (only because it was my grandmas and she gave it to him to give to me) I wont ever get rid of that ring because it was my grandmas, there is no meaning behind it to do with him for me. I also have a wedding dress I bought that is at my Parents house that i have neglected to get rid of, Its not cause of my ex just havent got around to it.

My OH has never been engaged (mainly cause all his ex's cheated on him) He has a 3 year relationship with a girl he dated in highschool, and although it was a mutual break-up and they dont talk or anything i get jealous when i see her. I dont know why, I think its just knowing they have a history. I know even if we broke up he would never be interested in her, they just werent for eachother, they fought alot..

I'm a freak i'm constantly wondering if i'm good enough, if i'm pretty enough, If he is disgusted by my weight gain ( i know im pregnant) i was not this paranoid before pregnancy, i think its just being vulnerable right now.

 

[newmommy23]

its not weird! my oh's ex..they weren't together even a few months but they kinda had an uhoh baby. well, she got pregnant on purpose to try to "keep him" but anywho, it's hard to not be jealous of her cuz she has his first child. something I can never have. he lost his virginity to her too, and its only been her and me. Even though he says he wishes he had waited and had me be his first, I still worry that it was better with her....and we've been together 3 years lol

 

[pansylove]

you're not wierd at all!!! I feel a bit bad because I'm the girl on the other side of it all.
My OH was with a girl for 2 years, broke up with her when he met me because he realised he was in love with me (and not her. ouch... SORRY!) she had always been talking about them getting married and talking babies with him (he's 26), but he never proposed or anythin. Then, 4 months after being with me, he proposed. How fucking bad do i feel!!!! Then a year on, we're having a baby. I feel so guilty, cus she must feel like absolute shit.
But meh. I have the guy. Fair and square.

 

[vhal_x]

I'm a freak i'm constantly wondering if i'm good enough, if i'm pretty enough, If he is disgusted by my weight gain ( i know im pregnant) i was not this paranoid before pregnancy, i think its just being vulnerable right now.

That's exactly what I'm like and I do his head in by constantly asking him if he still loves me everytime I get a tiny bit bigger ​

he lost his virginity to her too, and its only been her and me. Even though he says he wishes he had waited and had me be his first, I still worry that it was better with her...

Yeah, my OH lost his virginity to his ex and says he wishes he had waited till he met me, and I wish I had waited till I met him too (instead of losing mine with my ex) and he swears that it's better with me but IDK, he could be lying to spare my feelings ​

you're not wierd at all!!! I feel a bit bad because I'm the girl on the other side of it all.
My OH was with a girl for 2 years, broke up with her when he met me because he realised he was in love with me (and not her. ouch... SORRY!) she had always been talking about them getting married and talking babies with him (he's 26), but he never proposed or anythin. Then, 4 months after being with me, he proposed. How fucking bad do i feel!!!! Then a year on, we're having a baby. I feel so guilty, cus she must feel like absolute shit.
But meh. I have the guy. Fair and square.

Yeah he split up with his ex because she was cheating on him, I didn't even know him at the time (we went to the same school a few years before and had known who each other is but hadn't ever actually met iykwim) but I knew his cousin, so I told his cousin about her cheating on him and he didn't even pass the message on but once they had split up (he found out anyway) his cousin finally told him he already knew . Then when we met, I said to him that he would've known earlier if his cousin had just told him . We became very good friends, going to bowling and laser tag together and stuff (along with a big group of friends) and then when me and my ex split up, we got together, etc. etc. etc. ) so it all worked out in the end .



I just wish I could go back six years, to the start of high school, and actually start talking to him then and get together then then we'd both have lost our virginities with each other and I wouldn't be so jealous of his damn ex but of course, if we had met all those years ago, maybe things wouldn't be as amazing as they are now. But I'd like to think they would be xx​

 

[vhal_x]

Also forgot to mention that because of his stupid f*cking ex (woo-sahhh! getting myself angry here ) he has some pretty serious trust issues. He's terrified that he's going to get hurt again, and it really doesn't help that I have cheated on people in the past (by kissing other people, not by having sex with other people, still cheating though) so he is so scared that I'm gonna do it to him. And no matter how much I try to make him see that things are different with us and that I'd never do it to him because I love him so much and he's my son's Daddy, he still has this constant fear.

He trusts me, but he doesn't trust other boys, because he knows what boys are like and he's even scared incase someone tries to kiss me (even though I'd push them away) incase I don't dodge in time .

But I swear on our son's life that I'll never cheat on him. IDK, I've just never felt this way about anyone before xx ​

 

[Burchy314]

My OH is the same way with me...I have cheated on past bfs and him by kissing another guys so I don't blame him. Thankfully he didn't leave me and I gained his trust back because I haven't messed up at all in the past year or longer lol I don't remember when this happend. I am jealous of EVERYONE he has been with, sadly that is A LOT of people. I don't blame him though because that is how he grew up, he had a bad past. I know he really wishes he would have saved himself for me, it still hurts him if that comes up. I am extremely glad I lost my virginity with him, but it still gets to me that he didn't lose his virginity to me.

I also always feel that I am not good enough, pretty enough, etc. for him even though he tells me almost everyday how much he loves me, I am the most beautiful girl he has ever seen, and he doesn't even look at other girls anymore because he is so in love with me. I have no reason to fear him leaving me, but I still do, I don't know why.

 

[lb]

goodness. your story is exactly like mine. we both had broken up with our exes in december after long relationships (me 2 years, him 6 years) and he had been engaged to her. we met january, were officially together at the beginning of may, and pregnant by the end of may. but i just know he's the right one.

and i am insanely jealous of his ex. because she got him for homecoming, prom, beginning of college, she got his virginity, but she also broke his heart, and that makes me soooo angry. the same was with me and my ex, and i know it doesn't sit well with james. i wish i had known him when he went to school in my hometown 6/7 years ago so that never would've happened. that way, neither of us would've had to go through relationships that ruined us. he still has the ring, but he's selling it to buy me a new one as soon as the swelling in my fingers go down. until then, i have a silver flower i wear around my swollen ring finger

now we are perfect and we're totally in love. we're going to raise our daughter to be the best she can be. and i wouldn't want it any way else.

goodness, our hormones get in the way of everything. i just start randomly crying when i think of how the ring was meant for another girl. james is mine now!! >.< i love how he tells me he loves me every day and that i'm beautiful even though i feel fat and bloated and greasy. wouldn't want it any other way.