Is it wrong we don't want to tell??

[salazjm218]

Hello everyone!!

Well as of today I'm 13w5d along. I found out I was pregnant a little after 4 weeks and it was a shock. At first I had mixed emotions about it but once it passed I was very excited. We just had dd in July of last year and ds in March of 2013.

Anyways we've pretty much kept the pregnancy to ourselves. Only recently did we tell my parents who were excited dh parent's still dont know and honestly we don't feel like telling anyone. We love keeping it private and to ourselves but a little part of me feels guilty. I'm not ashamed to be pregnant I just don't want to hear any negative comments if anyone feels that way. Dh has been very protective and feels the same way.

Am I wrong for Still not telling everyone?? I usually announce my pregnancies very early on. So this time is very different for us.

Please any feedback would be nice

 

[MummyToAmberx]

Nothing is wrong, if thats how you's want it then great

im expecting #4 and as long as i dont show we dont plan on telling till as late as possible. I do think will be few negative reactions in 1st tri already running through every emotion i dont need stress from that.

 

[salazjm218]

See that's exactly how I feel!! I don't want to carry other people's emotions on me. I just want to relax and enjoy my pregnancy.

I'm showing a little but even if I was showing a lot I don't think I'd come clean to anyone lol

 

[Twinmum87]

Just relax and enjoy your pregnancy and if you feel happier not announcing to everyone then brilliant! They can guess it themselves when you get a bump or baby arrives if its people you dont see too often! Congrats

 

[Jessicahide]

No its lovely keeping it just for you, I have not even told my mother, probably for different reasons, mine is a drama queen who won't have the limelight off her so is likely to start drama so she is centre anyway.... Not that I want to be all eyes on me.... Opposite actually.

 

[cupcakekate]

Not wrong at all! You can tell people whenever you feel is right for you!

 

[lau86]

I like to keep things low key as well. We told close family at twelve weeks but everyone else around twenty weeks, I didn't show till after then. This time i have felt very poorly and told my mum as she was saying she was worried about me and was wondering why I looked ill. But everyone else we will tell as late as possible. I usually announce when we know the gender rather than after twelve week scan.

 

[Scout]

I loved having the secret to myself too when I was pregnant with dd. Plus, I was single and over 40 so I just didn't want any stress with reactions I knew I'd get from specific family members. I told my mom, sister and one aunt. The rest knew when I started showing too much to cover up. Some friends I didn't see often but spoke to a lot thru FB didn't know until we had a lunch get together and brought along my infant daughter LOL I think it's lovely to keep it to yourself for as long as you wish.

 

[Amy2701]

Are you planning on this being your last baby? We found out at 3 weeks pregnant this time, and didn't tell anyone for ages. We usually announce pretty early too but we didn't even want to tell parents this time. We did tell them before the 12 week scan in the end - but mainly because I started to show pretty quickly.

We didn't announce to anyone else until after the scan, and even as we were telling people it felt a bit sad that it wasn't our little secret anymore. This will definitely be our last baby so we really enjoyed when it was just our own news and no one else knew. X

 

[salazjm218]

Thanks so much everyone!! It feels nice to know I'm not alone in wanting to keep it just between the hubby and I. with this pregnancy I just feel so private and am just soaking in every moment. Probably because this will most likely be our last. We've even decided to stay team Yellow this time around

 

[salazjm218]

Are you planning on this being your last baby? We found out at 3 weeks pregnant this time, and didn't tell anyone for ages. We usually announce pretty early too but we didn't even want to tell parents this time. We did tell them before the 12 week scan in the end - but mainly because I started to show pretty quickly.

We didn't announce to anyone else until after the scan, and even as we were telling people it felt a bit sad that it wasn't our little secret anymore. This will definitely be our last baby so we really enjoyed when it was just our own news and no one else knew. X

I know what you mean. When we told my parents it just didn't seem as fun as keeping it a secret!! I think this will be the last one. We have 2 girls and 1 Boy so we're hoping this little one is a boy too. But we're leaving that surprise for the delivery room my belly plays hide and go seek right now but even when I start to show I don't think I'll admit to it :wink:

 

[DebDeb85]

This is our first baby, and we felt strongly about telling family early.

However, I definitely think it's your (and dh's) decision! If you have reasons to wait, than you should wait.
I don't think there is one right answer. One of my closest friends is a week behind me, and she isn't telling most of her family for another couple of weeks. Different choices for different people.

Happy and healthy 9 months to you! Congrats!

 

[oliv]

nothing wrong with it at all its your baby and pregnancy so you tell if and when you feel like it.

I had DD in Feb 14 and im due DS June 15. I was anxious of the negative comments but most people were really nice we got the odd how did that happen, wow that was quick and a few yeah we got caught too (we TTC'd this baby).

We didn't announce until 21 weeks. We told family (parents and siblings early on)

 

[BethK]

I would prefer not to tell anyone until 20+ weeks, however as we had IVF which my family knew about (they contributed money wise) and my work know about (they allowed me time off), then most people already know. It's only the parents at the school gates who i see and DH's family that don't know!

I have my scan tomorrow, if it's good news then we will tell our DD as it's been hard on her when i make excuses to not run around so much or not carry her to school if she's tired. I'll be pleased to be able to let her know it's because we're carrying her baby brother or sister rather than i just don't want to.

I'll also be pleased to not keep it a secret, i've been covering my already very showing belly and in this weather i'd like to not worry about trying to hide it.

We're telling DH's family when i'm 17 weeks as they live in Bournemouth and we will be visiting around that time, will be nice to tell them face to face. Then after the 20w scan i may mention something to my friends on FB (only have real friends and family on my FB anyway).

 

[AJae]

Nothing wrong at all. I am the same. We arent doing any kind of 'reveal'at any stage. I love the clever ideas but it isnt for us.
We have only told the parents and close family, bosses and one or two colleagues who will need to cover for absence. We know so many of our friends who have genuinely struggled and waited years and spent thousands for their family to expand, for us to say 'hooray we are pg' without properly trying (success in first week 'trying') would really hurt them. I couldnt cause pain to another with my own happiness.

Apart from that, it's no one else's business. I hate being the centre of attention (never having a wedding for that very reason, i hate crowds and people in my face!!) and we want to work it all out on our own rather than get all the intrusive comments and unprompted 'advice' associated with it. Once you tell the world, your body becomes public property it seems. Lol.

I sound like a cow but it is how i feel. Basically it has to be right for your journey. If people ask me face to face as time goes by then i am happy to confirm but will not divulge further details as i am more than my bump.

 

[jumpingo]

No its lovely keeping it just for you, I have not even told my mother, probably for different reasons, mine is a drama queen who won't have the limelight off her so is likely to start drama so she is centre anyway.... Not that I want to be all eyes on me.... Opposite actually.

YES! finally another person who isn't running to tell their mom as soon as there are 2 lines!!
my mom is kind of like that too: everything is about her. she doesn't know anything. she doesn't know about my miscarriage (it wouldn't be about her daughter and son-in-law losing a baby, it would be ALL about HER losing a grandchild) and she doesn't know about this one yet either. a friend of hers was saying that their son and daughter-in-law didn't tell them until 12 weeks and my mom just could NOT believe it. BWAHAHAHA, wait til we don't tell HER until at least that. she'll be so mad! and it'll be awesome!!

I loved having the secret to myself too when I was pregnant with dd. Plus, I was single and over 40 so I just didn't want any stress with reactions I knew I'd get from specific family members. I told my mom, sister and one aunt. The rest knew when I started showing too much to cover up. Some friends I didn't see often but spoke to a lot thru FB didn't know until we had a lunch get together and brought along my infant daughter LOL I think it's lovely to keep it to yourself for as long as you wish.

that is awesome. i sort of want to just show up one day with a baby and be like, "oh yeah, so this happened." we live in japan and don't post much to FB anyway, so it might be entirely possible that people won't know we had a baby until they get a birth announcement in the mail.



i'm not sure when we'll "tell" but my husband works at the hospital and it's tiny and nearly impossible to walk into the OB department without someone seeing, so i imagine the rumor mill will be all a buzz! am thinking around 14 or 15 weeks, we'll tell people in person when we see them? might depend on when i start showing too. the first time, we were busting to tell (and did tell a handful of close friends) but this time, it feels so much easier to keep it to ourselves. at least for me. i think my husband is dying to tell.

i don't think it's wrong to not want to tell. at ALL. keep it your secret as long as you want. it's your baby, and your life. if people get mad or offended or whatever, that's their problem and will learn to get over themselves.

 

[misspriss]

Not wrong at all, but be prepared someone might steal your opportunity to tell when you are ready. We wanted to wait until the ultrasound to tell. His mom was like "do you have something to tell me? I know you do!" (and not in a lighthearted fun way). Yeah I was pretty pissed she took my opportunity to share.

 

[jessmke]

We won't really be telling people unless we happen to see them and they either ask or they notice my giant belly (once I get one!). We are pretty private people, we don't really do the Facebook thing, and definitely won't be doing an "announcement". We will tell our best friends and family, but everyone else can find out either through the grapevine or if we see them! If you want to keep it a secret, then keep it a secret! This baby isn't about all those other people out there, it's about your growing little family, so who cares what everyone will think if you don't tell them!

 

[Mum_Of_Roodys]

Nothing wrong I personally haven't told anyone about any of mine except my hubby until atleast 15 weeks my middle child no one knew until I had her except my hubby and mother and mother in law , a few family members that had seen me in the later stage not allot though