Is there a place for this? I want to try, partner refuses.

[Tristansmom]

I'm so glad to find this thread. My wife and I had initially agreed to try for another. Went through 6 months of fertility treatments last year with no success, took some time off for my cycle to even back out (it went really weird after treatments), and I had just gotten all my ducks in a row to start trying again for my February cycle when she drops the bombshell that she doesn't want to have another. I'm feeling extremely betrayed and lied to, and she refuses to acknowledge my feelings in any way or apologize for letting me believe and hope and plan for another baby when she didn't actually want one. Now I'm toying with the idea of just going ahead with the donor cycle without her knowledge (I work full-time so I could just book my appointments during my workday and she'd never know). Or else asking for a divorce (in which case I would probably still go ahead with the donor cycle, since I'm gonna be a single mom anyways). I haven't made any kind of decisions yet because I acknowledge that my current emotional state does not lend itself well to decision making, but I know I will resent her for the rest of my life over this, regardless of what I choose to do.

 

[MollyMoon]

Me too. It seems everyone around me is having babies and especially the fact that most the women I know that are my age (35) are already done having kids. Makes me so depressed. My kids will be the one with the 'old' mom. I was the youngest so i got embarrassed thst my mom was like 46 when i was ten. I try to not to obsess about it and keep myself busy but it keeps coming back.

 

[babycrazy1706]

I'm so glad to find this thread. My wife and I had initially agreed to try for another. Went through 6 months of fertility treatments last year with no success, took some time off for my cycle to even back out (it went really weird after treatments), and I had just gotten all my ducks in a row to start trying again for my February cycle when she drops the bombshell that she doesn't want to have another. I'm feeling extremely betrayed and lied to, and she refuses to acknowledge my feelings in any way or apologize for letting me believe and hope and plan for another baby when she didn't actually want one. Now I'm toying with the idea of just going ahead with the donor cycle without her knowledge (I work full-time so I could just book my appointments during my workday and she'd never know). Or else asking for a divorce (in which case I would probably still go ahead with the donor cycle, since I'm gonna be a single mom anyways). I haven't made any kind of decisions yet because I acknowledge that my current emotional state does not lend itself well to decision making, but I know I will resent her for the rest of my life over this, regardless of what I choose to do.

Hope it works out for you xx