Is there anyone else that cringes at the thought of breastfeeding?

[Erinsmummy]

I am in no way against breastfeeding at all, and if I see other women doing it it doesn't make me cringe at all! I can watch my friends do it and I don't feel uncomfortable at all, but the thought of ME breastfeeding makes me cringe. I felt this way when I was preg with my daughter, so I formula fed and loved it, we got on well with it. I was never pressured to breastfeed thankfully.

I keep trying to get over it and just telling myself I'll give it a go but I can't!! It makes me feel funny thinking about it, the thought of the baby on my nipple feels anything but natural to me. I've never met anyone else who feels the same?!

My best friend showed me how she does it, and it looked easy and I went away feelin like Mayb I'll try... But no, I can't, it makes me feel a bit sick even :/ why?! I feel so odd! Our breasts are made to feed babies!! People look at me weird when I say I'm not even going to try breastfeeding. Like I'm an alien!

 

[kat2504]

I suspect a number of formula feeders who never wanted to breastfeed and ff from birth might share your feelings.

For my part, I wanted to breastfeed. I did find the idea weird, but once my baby was born and I got started with breastfeeding, I didn't feel the same way anymore. Often the reality of something is different from the "idea" you have of it. Our culture in the western world has also made it so that breasts have become more viewed as sex objects and are a bit "taboo" in a way that they were not before formula was invented. So I think that is why some people feel weird about using them to feed a baby when all we see in the media is "sexy" boobs rather than seeing them being used to feed a baby. Also before I was pregnant the idea of having a baby inside felt weird but once I was pregnant it felt natural. When I was young the idea of having sex and letting someone put their penis inside me was extremely weird and gross but obviously I don't feel that way anymore!

Of course if your feeling about it is so strong that you actually don't want to try - that is up to you. Nobody can force you into it if you don't want to do it. If your heart isn't in it then you would be unlikely to stick it out through the hard first few weeks anyway. However, I'd say keep an open mind and think about offering your baby the breast after the birth to see how you feel about it in real life. If you don't want to continue then go straight to formula, but at least your baby would get some colostrum which is so good for their immunity. Another possibility if you decide you don't want to do that is to hand express the colustrum and syringe feed it if you are giving bottles from the start.

It's entirely up to you. Everyone feels differently about these things. It's your baby, your breasts and your choice to make. Do what you think is right for you.

 

[veryfondoftea]

I feel the same. I really wanted to breastfeed before my daughter was born and never even thought of any alternatives 'just in case'. I breastfed for five days and then moved to formula lol

What I struggled with was how my boobs didn't feel like my own anymore. I spent the day in hospital having my nipples tweaked and boobs squeezed by midwives (who asked if it was ok to touch me AFTER already touching me!) in order to 'help' show me how to get baby to latch on, and then I spent two days at home lying topless in bed just feeding constantly. My daughter actually fed really well and I had milk, I just HATED the way it made me feel. I felt so anxious about visitors coming over as I felt so self conscious and stressed about breastfeeding and couldn't even entertain the thought of ever being able to leave the house. On reflection, I think I was very overwhelmed by giving birth and felt frightened I'd always be tied to the house if breastfeeding. I also felt under lots of pressure from midwives to breastfeed only.

Once I made the decision to formula feed (and got over the guilt of giving up breastfeeding 'my baby is going to be fat/not as loved/not as developed/more ill' etc etc etc) I felt SO much better. Formula feeding has given me the chance to enjoy my daughter and feel more close to her. It also gives me a much needed break if I need it too so I don't regret it at all.

The only thing I feel bad about is that I find it more of an effort to have skin to skin contact now, but I try to do it every day even if only for 5 minutes.

 

[susannah14]

I do breastfeed, and it only seems weird to me if I start thinking about it too much. But now it's like the most natural thing in the world to me. At first I never let my baby comfort suck ("I will NOT be used as a pacifier!"), but now my mindset has completely changed-my boob is just another tool that God gave me to calm my baby and make him happy. So I let him suck for up to half hour if he wants.

And my boobs are still fun for my husband, nothing lacking in that dep't. So it's not like you can only have it one way or the other.

In the end it's up to you, totally. However if you're curious about what it's like, why not try it for a day or two and see how you like it? At most, you're giving your baby some good nutrition, and you can quit whenever you want anyway. It's not like once you start, you can't stop.

I agree with the above poster and the analogies to pregnancy and sex. Even eating and kissing is weird if you REALLY think about it. "I like you...so I'm going to press my lips to yours and then make a smacking sound." What sense does THAT make?!

 

[Erinsmummy]

Haha, yeah it's true there are other things that would Make me cringe if I thought about it too much! I could give it a go, like u all say I can always stop if I don't like it... Is it really painful when they first lach on?

 

[susannah14]

Haha, yeah it's true there are other things that would Make me cringe if I thought about it too much! I could give it a go, like u all say I can always stop if I don't like it... Is it really painful when they first lach on?

The official answer is "It should not hurt if you're doing it correctly."

However there will probably be an adjustment period where you might have some discomfort, or some pain while you figure out how to latch. I know some ladies have no pain at all from the very start. Maybe you will be lucky like that. Personally, we had a bad latch so I had some pain at the beginning, but never any cracking or bleeding or anything like that.

If you were to read the posts in the BF section, you would think it's terrible and difficult and painful for everyone. Truth is, most people only post there when they have a problem, so it looks like everyone has a problem!

The important thing DON'T FEEL PRESSURED to breastfeed. Sure, try it, but if it's not for you, nothing wrong with that. Enjoy your time with your newborn

 

[Foogirl]

I did it, it never made me cringe or anything, and I managed quite successfully.

But here's the thing, if you just don't want to, you just don't want to. If it makes you cringe, or feel sick, you can't help that. So, when the time comes, if you don't want to do it, don't do it. I actually appreciate people's honesty when it comes to that as I did tend to get rather annoyed when people would insist it was impossible for them and then give a really poor reasoning for it not being their fault, no not at all. This tends to lead to lots and lots of people not trying it because they think it will be too difficult or painful or time consuming etc etc.

So I really applaud women who come right out and say "nope, not for me, I'll pass thank you"

Don't let anyone try to guilt you in to it and don't do it because you feel you have to

 

[bubbles123]

We all feel differently about our bodies. I HATE feet. All feet. Makes me feel sick just thinking about them! Now that's weird but I can't help it so I get where you are coming from. I also never enjoyed being pregnant either, I found it hard my body not being mine and whilst I did try BF it was also great to have my breasts back to just being mine again when I stopped pumping. We're all different, never do anything that makes you uncomfy if you don't want to.

 

[mommy0629]

I felt the same way when I was pregnant. Thinking about it, nothing about it seemed "natural" to me, but when I was actually doing it it did. I ff now, but I enjoyed bfing while I did it even though I thought I would hate it lol. Not saying everyone is like that, I was surprized though. Of course if you don't want to do it then that's perfectly fine, but I think it's pretty common to feel that way until baby is born and you try it.

 

[Kitteh_Kat]

I feel the same way! I have no interest in even trying it - we're going straight to formula. I think that works out better in the end anyway, since hubby and I work opposite schedules and will be keeping the baby at home for as long as possible. He'll be able to feed her without any problems. So you're not alone!

 

[socitycourty]

I didn't mind it, but I have a problem with my boobs/nipples being touched now that I've stopped nursing. I definitely don't feel the same way about them now.

I BF for 2 months and stopped due to her reflux. I never had any pain or latching issues luckily, my milk didn't come in for a week because of my traumatic labor/emcs so she did have 2 bottles in the NICU as she had severe jaundice and weight loss.

Once we got home the milk was in and everything was fine. I never thought twice about it TBH, it's just what I was going to do. If not for her reflux and allergy problems I'd probably still be BF

 

[aimee-lou]

I have never wanted to BF - not because I have an aversion as such, I just don't feel like it's right for me to BF my baby. Both my boys have been FF from birth, and so will the new baby. I just can't see myself BFing. I have nothing but admiration for people who do, and would never turn my nose up at a BF'er. I've even been a BFing Cafe with a friend but happily got a bottle of formula out to feed my LO while there. It's just how I feed my baby - I don't think trying to BF would add anything into my parenting and I certainly don't think FFing has taken anything away - it's just how I do it.

 

[Foogirl]

I just can't see myself BFing. I have nothing but admiration for people who do,

I'm always amazed at this type of comment. What's admirable is all that sterilising, mixing of formula, dealing with a cranky hungry baby at 3am whilst a bottle is made or gets to the right temperature, having to go through different formulae to find the right one......phew, that must be exhausting. One of the main reasons I chose to BF is that I'm just too damned lazy (and such a skinflint) to FF! If all goes smoothly with BFing, after the first few weeks it is a dawdle. And a great excuse to sit on the sofa scoffing biscuits, watching telly when the cluster feeding kicks in!

 

[aimee-lou]

It's funny, after 13 months bottle making with Earl, and another 7 so far with Eddy it's just part of the chores. I've also been lucky and not had any issues with formula/bottles/intolerances/wind etc etc. Will admit that the price is an issue at times but you prioritise it and it works out, especially as I refuse to switch to cheaper follow-ons etc. I have big babies who need their food (Eddy is currently 25lb3oz!) and it does make for big bills at times lol. But I wouldn't have it any other way for me.

I just couldn't imagine the cluster feeding, the potential pains and latching problems, supply worries, diet worries, and all the rest. I'm naturally a very laid back person, but I think it would get to me very quickly. This is why I admire it so much when people do it for any length of time.

I also don't need an excuse to scoff biscuits - they're a food group all on their own to me! lol

 

[socitycourty]

making bottles and doing dishes is absolutely nothing to the 2 months of nurse-scream-puke-nurse hell i put myself through. BF is not easy for every woman or baby. my lo was at the breast 24/7. i was hallucinating from lack of sleep and wanted to shoot myself from the constant screaming.

perpetuating the myth that bf is easy just makes the guilt that much worse for the people who can't do it

 

[Erinsmummy]

I just can't see myself BFing. I have nothing but admiration for people who do,

I'm always amazed at this type of comment. What's admirable is all that sterilising, mixing of formula, dealing with a cranky hungry baby at 3am whilst a bottle is made or gets to the right temperature, having to go through different formulae to find the right one......phew, that must be exhausting. One of the main reasons I chose to BF is that I'm just too damned lazy (and such a skinflint) to FF! If all goes smoothly with BFing, after the first few weeks it is a dawdle. And a great excuse to sit on the sofa scoffing biscuits, watching telly when the cluster feeding kicks in!

I used to sterilise the bottles before bed, then when baby woke hungry id use a ready to feed, I'd just pop downstairs grab the bottle, poor the ready to feed into the bottle and done! My lo took it at room temp so never had to heat it up ect. Ready to feeds are expensive though so I'd only use them at night and if out

 

[susannah14]

perpetuating the myth that bf is easy just makes the guilt that much worse for the people who can't do it

Hi there

I think the myth is not "breastfeeding is easy" but "breastfeeding is easy for everyone." Because if everything DOES go smoothly, then breastfeeding is easy-that's not a myth. But sometimes things do go wrong, like for you, and I think that's when ladies start to feel like they are a failure, if they think BF is always supposed to be easy. It's not always easy.

For me, once we got past the first few weeks (I never had as many problems as you), BF is the easiest thing ever. Even pumping is easy, it's annoying and time consuming, but it's easy. lol.

 

[bubbles123]

The first few months of BF and FF are hard. Just having a new born is hard. Once you get the hang of BF and FF they both become easy I would think. I thought about this the other day. I wash my bottles after I do the washing up, takes me maybe 5 minutes. I put them in the steriliser in the morning, that takes a few minutes. I make 3 bottles a day, all I have to do is switch on kettle, leave for 30 mins, add formula then put in pan of cold water. Takes a few minutes a bottle so in total I spend about 15 mins a day making formula compared to an hour plus cooking everyone else's food and cleaning up afterwards. So formula making is really not that time consuming. BF has no preparation but can sometimes involve more or longer feedings so I think to be honest there's really not that much difference in the amount of effort to FF or BF after the first few months.

 

[Foogirl]

perpetuating the myth that bf is easy just makes the guilt that much worse for the people who can't do it

That was not my intention. I've been very clear that every mum should do what is best for them.

For many (maybe even most) people, after an initial period whilst mum and baby get used to it, Breastfeeding can be simple. That's no myth. But that doesn't mean everyone can do it and certainly not everyone gets the right support to do it. Nobody should ever feel guilty for not being able to, or not wanting to try or whatever. As long as your baby gets fed, it doesn't matter how.

 

[Erinsmummy]

I have seen some of my friends really struggle with breastfeeding, and others just take to it so easily. My best friend has 3 children. Her first she breastfeed fr 3 weeks, she hated it, found it painful and she wa so exausted she actually passed out one day! Her second baby, got on with it like a house on fire! She did it for 6months no probs. so I dunno, it's different for every woman and every baby. I agree with what others have said, as long as ur baby is being fed I don't see the problem

I have thought more and more about breastfeeding and think im going to go to a breastfeeding group just to have a better understanding of it. Id love to try it but I won't if I really feel uncomfortable about it xx