Is there anyone out there like me?

[Mair]

Hi ladies, I'm hoping there might be someone out there like me, who will be able to give me some hope. I've now had a total of 4 miscarriages, after the first two I was sent off for tests, but everything came back OK. After miscarriage no. 3 my doctor referred me to a specialist. I went to see him just after miscarriage no.4. He said that he would send me off for more blood tests to check for clotting etc. and also me and my husband to tests to check our chromosomes and compatibility. I also had a scan to check that everything is OK in my uterus and that was fine. I must admit I was pretty blase about the tests, I didn't think I had a blood clotting problem as I'd had that tested before and I certainly didn't think there would be a chromosome problem as I thought that was more a problem for cousins, or people closely related to each other, so I was pretty shocked when the results came back that I have a problem with my chromosomes, apparently everyone has 46 chromosomes but I have 45 (I think I have 46, or I wouldn't be alive, but two are overlapping), this then causes a problem with the eggs I produce as I do not pass on 23 chromosomes so my egg is flawed from the start. The specialist did say that I may have a successful pregnancy as I am living and breathing proof that a baby could survive but for me, getting pregnant is like playing Russian Roulette. I have been referred to a genetics specialist who will answer my questions but nothing can be done. I'm trying to put on a brave face and get on with life but I feel such a failure. I am grieving for the family that I will now probably never have and I feel so sorry for my husband who really drew the short straw when he married me. We will keep on trying, unless the genetics specialist tells us it's a complete waste of time, and maybe a miscarriage when I'm expecting it wont be as distressing as one that is unexpected but I do worry how many more miscarriages I can take, both physically and mentally, also I am 40 so I do only have a limited number of pregnancies/miscarriages in me. Has anyone else been given news like this and gone on to have a healthy baby? In some ways I am scared to give myself any kind of hope, but at the same time I really can't believe that this is it for me.
Thanks for reading my ramble. x

 

[moonmama]

No I'm sorry, I've had 4 mc but not tested positive for a chromosomal issue-just wanted to say sorry for what your going through! I hope someone can give you some reassurance

 

[Sassy_TTC]

Oh hun that must be really scary for you, I'm sorry I dont have any advice for you but just wanted to wish you all the luck in the world. xxx

 

[Jasiellover]

Hugs and prayers

 

[Lucia]

I am so sorry. I hope that they can help you get through this.

 

[heart tree]

I'm so sorry to hear this. I've had 3 mc's and am now being told my uterus shape might be abnormal. I'm going in for an MRI next week to see if it is something that can be fixed or not. If they can't fix it, then I face a similar fate to you. Do I play russian roulette and hope that I carry one to term? I'm not sure. I'm turning 36 in a few weeks and my husband is 41. While my chromosomes are ok, I can relate to what you are going through. I wish I had a successful story for you. I hope you find one.

xoxo

 

[four_angels]

I have had four miscarriages too so I feel your pain We don't know what caused the first three, the fourth was caused by a retroplacental haematoma. DH and I have both had our chromosomes checked, we also had the foetus tested and everything was normal.

Is it possible to have the chromosome test checked again just to be sure of what you are dealing with?

 

[kanga]

hi hun, don't worry about ranting, that is what this is for

Hope you get your sticky successful pregnancy soon, you certainly deserve one. I'm a believer that one day, despite my mcs I will have a baby, and I really hope you do too xx

 

[Mair]

Thank you, all you lovely ladies, for your replies and support. It's terrible that so many of us go through the heartache of multiple miscarriages. I hope you all have success soon. Heart tree, my thoughts are with you, I really hope your tests come back with some good news i.e. there is something that can be done for you. Some days I feel much stronger than others but deep down I know that I will keep on trying as this is too important to just give up on. I suppose at least I know what the problem is and what I am up against now, so I can manage my expectations. Hugs to all of you x

 

[NatoPMT]

Your story really touched me Mair, I'm so sorry for your position. I dont have many of your experiences, but i am 39, and i certainly relate to this:

"I feel so sorry for my husband who really drew the short straw when he married me."

I also in my darkest moments consider this may never happen for me. Your husband is lucky to have you, it's you he married - for better or worse. Have you discussed this with him, or is that representative of how you see it? Sometimes fertility problems can push individuals into grieving in their own corner rather than as a couple. You make no reference to that being the case, i just wanted to say keep communicating with each other.

I wish you all the luck in the world - i hope very much that it happens for you x

 

[NatoPMT]

Your story really touched me Mair, I'm so sorry for your position. I dont have many of your experiences, but i am 39, and i certainly relate to this:

"I feel so sorry for my husband who really drew the short straw when he married me."

I also in my darkest moments consider this may never happen for me. Your husband is lucky to have you, it's you he married - for better or worse. Have you discussed this with him, or is that representative of how you see it? Sometimes fertility problems can push individuals into grieving in their own corner rather than as a couple. You make no reference to that being the case, i just wanted to say keep communicating with each other.

I wish you all the luck in the world - i hope very much that it happens for you x

 

[Mair]

Thank you for your message NatoPMT. I know what you are saying. I am very lucky to have my husband who has been fantastic throughout the whole TTC ordeal. He is very positive and says we must make sure we do all the things that people with children cannot do, which I agree. I know that he is keen to keep trying too though. I just feel bad as I know that he would be a wonderful father and has a lot to offer, and that because of me, and my stupid body, he wont get the chance to. I love my husband very much and would be lost without him but when I have bad days I do think that he would be so much better without me. He in no way makes me feel guilty about this situation, but then again he doesn't need to as I feel worse for him than I do for myself. This post makes me sound like I'm completely depressed, I'm not and life goes on, but it's good to get it off my chest. I'm not sure what problems you have experienced NatoPMT, but I really do wish you the best of luck for the future. X