Is this a typical guy thing?

[Jewels]

Is it normal for our other halves to be kinda indifferent when it comes to being excited to have a baby? We've discussed it, and my DH has agreed that we can have a baby, and I know that if he didn't want a baby, he would've definitely told me so.

Yesterday we were at a family get together and somehow we got on the subject of baby names.. Stupid me and my baby fever - I started talking about what we could name our baby when we had one. My niece's husband asked us if we were thinking about starting a family, and my hubby said "I'm not, but she is". Then he went on to joke about how he's gonna get an earful (from me) on the way home and we were all laughing. My niece's husband seemed to think the same way about having kids - just kinda indifferent.

Both my DH and his family are very humorous, sarcastic, and love to tease and joke, so at first I just took it with a grain of salt and told myself that if he really didn't want a baby, we would have told me, because he's a very honest person and tells it like it is.

I've seen him with kids, and he's absolutely great. Every once in a while he'll come home from work and talk about how cute one of his friend's little boy is. I think deep down he wants children, but sometimes he throws me and I'm not sure whether to think he actually wants kids or not! I think I'm probably overreacting as usual and overanalyzing - it is probably just him being a joker.

Isn't this just a typical guy thing?

 

[Lou]

Heyy!!

Aw don't worry, I think it is very normal for men to be like this. My Oh is very much like urs and ur hubbys family sound almost identical to my OH.

When we're together my oh does day dream about babies, and taking them to Florida, but when hes around people, its almost as if someones scolded him. He goes completely quiet, and jokes about me wanting one more them him. Even his best mate said to him, 'Come on, you can't be that adament about not having kids yet?' and he just said, not for another two years atleast.

I think hes more concerned about getting married first, me to now. But yes I think that ur DH is very normal. Its massively frustrating for us women though! Chin up Hun, It'll be your time soon.

xxxxxx

 

[Jewels]

Heyy!!

Aw don't worry, I think it is very normal for men to be like this. My Oh is very much like urs and ur hubbys family sound almost identical to my OH.

When we're together my oh does day dream about babies, and taking them to Florida, but when hes around people, its almost as if someones scolded him. He goes completely quiet, and jokes about me wanting one more them him. Even his best mate said to him, 'Come on, you can't be that adament about not having kids yet?' and he just said, not for another two years atleast.

I think hes more concerned about getting married first, me to now. But yes I think that ur DH is very normal. Its massively frustrating for us women though! Chin up Hun, It'll be your time soon.

xxxxxx

Wow Lou, your OH does sound very much like mine! It's like when it's just us, he does sometimes daydream about what we're going to do when we have kids, but when anyone else is around he jokes like he's totally against them! I'm glad to know I'm not the only one!

 

[Pops]

My OH's sister has 2 kids and when we are with them, kids are the furthest thing from his mind, and mine in fairness as they are difficult kids! However, when we are on our own, we talk freely about it and have names picked out and we just know it will happen.

Neither of us really go on about it in front of other people, both sets of parents know it is going to happen and we are lucky that neither of them pressure us or go on about it either.

It just isn't really us to talk about things like that with others, we'll talk about it enough when it happens! So with us, it is as much me as OH that doesn't really carry the conversation on when people ask us - although if people do ask, he is as quick as me to say that yes, we are planning a family.

xxx

 

[sleepinbeauty]

My boyfriend would rather not have them, but he said tha tif I wanted it THAT bad, then fine, we can have some. (I'll settle for one if i HAVE to....)

 

[lozzy21]

Yep tipical bloke thing. My oh says he dosent want kids yet but when we walk into zaras he walked past every one else and sits and plays with charlie. Bloody men!

 

[Jewels]

Very glad to hear that I'm not alone!!

 

[Dream.A.Dream]

Agree thats a typical guy thing xx

 

[mikababy]

Pretty much seems right to me. My OH does want kids and couldn't imagine life without one day becoming a Dad, but he is only just starting to walk into Mamas and Papas rather than being dragged! (Rather like me and Screwfix!) He was not especially involved in our wedding plans either (couldn't stop raving about it afterwards of course!).

I Don't think men think ahead in the same way that they do. They're too focussed on dealing with the here and now.

 

[LankyDoodle]

Indifference is fine. Men find it so much more difficult to express any kind of emotion IME. I'd only be concerned if he was saying in private that he doesn't want them. I would never pressure someone to do something they don't want to, just to satisfy my own needs. Saying that, though, someone has to get what they want and the other has to compromise, so maybe it is the person who doesn't want them.

I would say men don't have that same biological clock ticking away that women do, either.

 

[artypants2008]

Blokes are funny creatures. They brag to their mates when they are younger about sex but when you are trying for a baby they seem to not want anyone to know you are doing it. I wouldn't read too much into it. It's what he says when you are alone that he is realy thinking not what he says when he is around other people.

 

[toffee87]

I'd say it's the usual guy way lol. My OH is pretty much the same. He does want them, but rarely thinks about it. His view is that it's not happening now so no need to think/dream about it.

 

[luckyme225]

I don't think my husband was that excited about having a baby until we had our 20 week ultrasound and he could actually see our son. I don't think it hits some men how much they really want one until it's right in front of their face.

 

[Jewels]

Yes I guess it probably won't hit him until after I'm pregnant, who knows...

 

[tinybutterfly]

my boy is pretty open about his emotions etc...

and his reason for not being oh-so-excited beforehand, dreaming about it,
be totally obsessed with peestick results....
is because he does not want to be disappointed, he doesn't want to get his hopes up
every time and then be disappointed that it's a BFN. it's not that he doesn't really care.

if it would happen he'd be THRILLED though

 

[toffee87]

Yeah, what's that phrase...something like... a woman becomes a mother when she's pregnant, but a man isn't a father until the child is in his arms?

 

[mumtobe25]

My OH is the one pushing for a baby, wont stop talking about it and had even started buying baby clothes - think i may be going out with a woman lol