Is this normal - please help :(

[Sazaroo]

Hi ladies,

I hope someone can offer me advice.
My DS is 5 days old and wants to be attached to my breast 24/7. I totally understand that he needs this and I'm 100% happy to feed him on demand. I know he's getting plenty as there are a lot of dirty nappies and I have loads of milk.
My question is about nighttime... We are bed sharing and he wants to be latched all night, it doesn't seem to matter how much he drinks or how deep a sleep he's in, if I try to get my nipple out of his mouth he immediately wakes up and starts frantically searching for my boob, sucking at his hands, getting worked up etc, if I don't pop him straight back on he starts crying and we start all over again.

He can't be hungry - I ensure he feeds properly, it's like he needs the comfort of the nipple in his mouth at all times.

So I'm not getting any sleep as once he's asleep the latch isn't so good and it pinches and I'm increasingly sore now or he falls asleep and falls off the nipple only to immediately wake up and we start all over again.

I wondered if maybe it's because he can smell the milk laying so close to me so we bought a cosleeper side car but he refuses to sleep in that.

As an added bonus we both end up sleeping in piles of milky vomit as he's drinking so much he just brings it up.

I'm desperate for some sleep - help me

Xxx

 

[NurseSooz]

Nip this in the bud (bad joke). You don't want this problem to carry on. Yes he will be feeding a lot but there's not excuse to constantly comfort suck. When my dd tried that game I briefly gave her a dummy so that she learned that chewing on my boob for eternity wasn't an option. She doesn't take a dummy now. It did mean I was finding weird and wonderful ways of keeping it in her mouth but eventually she didn't want it. Start off putting a wee but of breastmilk on the dummy teat. Babies can smell your milk from a scary far distance so bubs will definitely smell your milk. I'm not a fan of co sleeping for that reason but it works for lots of mums, especially in the early stages when bubs is feeding so regularly.

 

[lily28]

^ I completely disagree, a baby this small needs to be on the boob as much as humanly possible, comfort sucking actually has a purpose: it gives your brain the message to produce plenty of milk, it is the basis of your future milk production, if you limit it early you might have future supply issues. It is a very complex hormonal process that works slow so the early days are tough.

 

[laodicean]

I also disagree. Babies don't "learn" anything when they're this young, they just want comfort, food, and warmth. Not having those things will lead to crying, which is the only way they have of communicating. They haven't got the experience or development required to make the link between cause and effect.

This will not be a long term problem, he will grow out of it in his own time. By constantly suckling he's preparing your breast for the growth spurt that he's due in the next few days when he will be constantly ravenous.

That said, the occasional use of a dummy for your own sanity isn't unreasonble, especially when sleeping at night. Bad latches can ruin your nipples (speaking from experience here) and make you even less willing to have him on there all the time. Also, Mummy not getting any sleep isn't good for either of you. We used a dummy from quite young and it didn't affect my supply, but did mean I got some sleep. I then just made sure that when I was awake, he was on the boob for as much time as he needed to be.

Good luck, it can be so intense in the first few weeks but it does get better, promise!

 

[embeth]

Feeding on demand at this age is certainly best they should have as much as they need/want. Jacob feeds extremely regularly for as long or little as he wants But your poor nipples will be so sore if it literally is 24/7 and his latch isn't great. I would maybe try a dummy just to give you done rest and your nipples a chance to recover xx

 

[lily28]

I didn't have painful nipples tbh (despite the marathon breastfeedings) so I'm not an expert. In your shoes I would do the following: correct the latch, let my breasts dry in the air, try nipple shields and talk to a LC for support.

 

[Rachel_C]

I would (and did) just carry on as you are if you can for now. The more LO sucks, whether because he needs the milk or because he needs the comfort, the better your supply will be. I honestly don't think there's a difference between want and need for a baby this young (and for quite a long time yet). If baby wants to suck for comfort, that's a very real need just as much as the need for nutrition, whether we as adults experience the same or not.

I do totally understand not wanting to be attached all night though! Have you tried unlatching at different times? I always found that it took at least 10 minutes of proper sleep before I could safely unlatch LO without waking her and even then it was a bit hit and miss.

To cope with the milky dribbles/sick, I used to sleep on a flat cloth nappy (prefold). They're quite heavy so no danger of it moving around. You could improvise with a towel, perhaps folded underneath the sheet with another layer of the same underneath so you can easily strip off the top layer when needed.

 

[Sazaroo]

Thank you so much for your advice ladies - its so great to have the support
I remember it being tough in the beginning with my DD but forgot quite how bad sleep deprivation can be! I will soldier on and look into a dummy if there's no improvement xx

 

[minties]

Day 5 is when I caved in and got a dummy for Sophie. I can't lie down flat and breastfeed, I have to be propped up on and elbow so couldn't handle that all night.

 

[cat_reversing]

I've slept in a comfy armchair holding lo more times than i'd like to remember because I couldn't put her down and she wanted to feed/comfortsuck.
Comfort lo as much as lo needs comforting! if you need a break it's ok to sometimes give a bottle of formula, let your nipples get some sensation back and start again in a few hours.
your could wear something heavier over your chest to lessen the chances of baby smelling you, keep cosleeping - it's natural and how many many people live all over the world!
It will get better, we promise!