Is this silly?

[Teri7489]

After my son was born we decided that 2 was enough, we have a boy and a girl so was all good. I've decided since our finances got better, we moved house and we were a little better that we would have another 1 at least. Now...

My sister is struggling to conceive and is really down Bout it. I feel like I'd be breaking her heart if I had another before her (no guarantee I know) I'd also hate to be pregnant at the same time as her, for her sake. It would be such a special time as it would be her first and i would ruin it if I was pregnant too.

How long do I wait though? I don't want to sound selfish, just don't want a huge age gap for our kids but willing to have a while for my big sister. Argh! Am I being stupid and selfish?

 

[Catalyst]

It took my mothers sister 16 years to get pg. If my mum had waited all this time she would not have had us three... or if waited after the first two... she had girl and a boy, did not wait and had another boy and 4 years later her sister had her twins.
You could end up waiting for a long time and maby then it might me to late. I would think she would feel it extra special if you would be pg tohether, It is so nice to know someone pg and having a small one at the same time as you.

 

[BB1982]

Hi, I think it's wonderful you're so considerate to your sisters feelings, and yes I'm sure she would be hurt if you got pregnant while she is still trying, but I agree, you can't put your life on hold for her. It sadly may never happen for her, or take a very long time. I would say talk to her so it's not a huge shock and let her know you've considered her. I'm sure after her initial feelings of jealous, and then guilt that she was jealous that inevitably follows, she'll be over the moon and love her new niece/nephew! Xx

 

[LoraLoo]

I understand that you don't want to upset your sister, but you have to live your own life, you can't put it on hold for others x

 

[babyv13]

you are lovely for caring about her feelings but I agree that you have to live your own life and not put it on hold.

 

[arturia]

I understand your desire to not hurt your sister's feelings. That's sweet, it really is. However, you're talking about basically putting your whole life on hold for a maybe. Maybe your sister will never get pregnant and, while this would be incredibly sad, if you chose to wait, you would never get pregnant either. This is in no way fair to you. Be fair to yourself, and don't wait for her. If you choose to give it some time anyways, don't wait too long. Live for yourself.

The recommendation to talk to her about it may be good, as this gives her the opportunity to process her feelings before you announce your pregnancy, especially if you become pregnant before she does. I guess though that this may partially depend on your sister's personality.

Best of luck.

EDIT: To answer your topic question, it is far from silly to ask. It shows you care.

 

[babyjan]

I understand that you don't want to upset your sister, but you have to live your own life, you can't put it on hold for others x

Agree with this x