Isolation due to breastfeeding

[Logan's Mum]

Gosh, havent posted in this bit for a while

Ive realised how isolating breastfeeding is this time around. I feel like its just up to us to wake up with LO and do all the feeds and I feel like we are taken for granted for it. My OH had his parents visiting yesterday we were waiting in for a MW visit. He suggested going off with his parents and Logan and me meeting them in town after the MW had been. Town is 45 mins walk away, I dont drive and LO was only 5 days old. So you can understand if I said my answer was "not likely", its too early for me to want to go out on my own I felt like he was taking advantage of the fact I BF to just swan off and do his own thing as he doesnt need to help. Blame the hormones but I was not happy with this

Does anyone else feel this, like they are taken for granted? Do you find ways for your OH to help just as much as you do with your feeding? (like my OH does the nappy changes at night but then sleeps whilst Im feeding). I know its part and parcel of breastfeeding but I wish men were more understanding and maybe once in a while say what a great job we are doing whilst they can drink all they want and sleep when they want. My LO at his 5 day weigh-in had gained 4oz and not lost weight like babies often do in the first week, it made the sleepless nights worthwhile but I wanted my OH to acknowledge this, at least a shiny badge or something

Thanks for reading, and keep up the awesome work

 

[LDC]

I completely understand. I felt like this at the beginning and again until Los feedings spaced out more. I actually say down with oh and told him that I was fed up and that he didn't understand how hard it was for me; funnily enough he told me he felt bad because lo was a bottle refuser and he couldn't help with feeds.

Maybe what you could try is expressing and giving lo bottles through the night so that your partner could help. We started doing this but out of laziness stopped and I really really wish I had carried on so that lo wouldn't start refusing bottles (started at 9 weeks and continued even up until now).

It is really smothering and hard hard work, but you're doing a great job xx

 

[joo]

It:s really isolating! I'm in the same boat i don't drive & all my amenities are 40mins walk & i'm not on bus route. I would have been really upset if OH had tried that on me - i actually would be now & I'm 3.5m in, let alone on day 5!!! I didn't even leave the house until day 7 & that was with OH & took a lot out of me. It wadn't until week 5 that I was out & about with the pram on my own walking to appoibtments etc. May be your OH didn't realise what a big ask it was? I am extremely lucky to have a really supportive OH. He did almost all the housework most of the time in the 1st couple of months as well as working full time. He still does a lot now although I'm gradually taking back the reigns. I know I am super lucky & I really appreciate everything he does, but i still get annoyed at night feeding when he gets to sleep lol

 

[vintagecat]

It took a while for my husband to realize just how dedicated you have to be to exclusively breastfeed, but he is so proud of me now and even brags about it occasionally. At first, I grew jealous of how unchained he seemed from the parenting role, but as the months went on, he became more and more important. For the first few months, I feel like it's a honeymoon period for mom and baby and that you're attached for a reason. Babies feel safest and happiest at the breast. It's their natural habitat. At 10 months now, my daughter nurses maybe 4 or 5 times a day for maybe 10 to 15 minutes and eats 3 meals a day with snacks. I'm able to leave for a few hours without much trouble. I actually find myself missing the days when we could sleep in bed together while she nursed on and on...it was so cuddly and intimate. Now she's barely sitting still for 5 seconds!