It's all just too much :(

[Breeelizabeth]

Hey ladies. Don't know what I'm looking for by posting this but I have so much to get off my chest and have no one to talk too.

I live with my dad, and he's a wonderful, supportive, hardworking man who I love dearly but lately he's been making me feel like I'm a total burden on him. He works 14 hour days and at the moment I'm not working. He gets extremely cranky when I don't do house work which I can understand but today I didn't wash the dishes and all hell broke loose. I think he thinks that I sit on my bum all day or am just lazy but the truth is today I went to the midwives, cleaned my room and slept because I had been up since 2am when he went to work. Plus I've been chasing up work. I can understand getting cranky if I didn't do housework for days and let it pile up but it's one day. I'm also studying for my end of year uni exams so that's taking up my time too.
He told me tonight that I shouldn't bother eating his food and that he would have to starve because I'm not allowed to cook so he won't get any food either. Which has pretty much broken me mentally, I don't have a dollar to my name at the moment because of all the things that are going on so I can't afford to go and buy myself food. But I also feel awful and like a waste of space because he won't get to eat and I know he works hard.
I'm also so upset that my little girl will be born to a person like me who contributes nothing and who is a burden to everyone around her.
I'm sorry for the long rant but it's all just getting too much right now.

 

[lj2245]

I know you say he's supportive but he doesn't sound very so to me. Why isn't he able to cook for himself? Are you his slave? I love my children dearly and if they ever needed me as adults I would be there for them 100%. I wouldn't dream of allowing them to go hungry.

His behaviour is unacceptable. There's no excuse for it. He is your father, it's his job to be there for you when you need him.

 

[Breeelizabeth]

Thanks I guess I just needed to get this off my chest. Think I probably overreacted, and I could probably have done the dishes. Hopefully it all settles down when he's talking to me again.

 

[mandaa1220]

I think it's all about respect -- as you said, you don't contribute anything to the household financially.

Not the same situation, but when my husband was laid off for a summer and I would get home from working a 9 hour day, then having graduate school for 3 hours at night, and he was feet up, relaxed on the couch with the house a mess, I would flip out. It is very difficult on a relationship, but when it's your child it's probably more frustrating. When I lived with my mom, before moving out for the first time, she felt the same way -- I needed to be contributing to the household, as she didn't expect me to pay to live.

As difficult as it is some days, no matter what, I would recommend that you ALWAYS do at least something that he will notice automatically and feel as though you weren't doing nothing all day (and I'm not saying you are doing nothing, but I know how it feels to feel like the other person in the home is).

 

[cookette]

I think it's all about respect -- as you said, you don't contribute anything to the household financially.

Not the same situation, but when my husband was laid off for a summer and I would get home from working a 9 hour day, then having graduate school for 3 hours at night, and he was feet up, relaxed on the couch with the house a mess, I would flip out. It is very difficult on a relationship, but when it's your child it's probably more frustrating. When I lived with my mom, before moving out for the first time, she felt the same way -- I needed to be contributing to the household, as she didn't expect me to pay to live.

As difficult as it is some days, no matter what, I would recommend that you ALWAYS do at least something that he will notice automatically and feel as though you weren't doing nothing all day (and I'm not saying you are doing nothing, but I know how it feels to feel like the other person in the home is).

^This is very good advice.


I was also in a situation with a man who didnt work while I went to school fulltime and worked part time, plus weekends. The house would be a MESS, he wouldnt do a thing. Its unreal.

Im not saying you're doing that, of course. But you said it was just one day you didnt do something....but it was still aday he had to work.

 

[jzgrace]

I felt bad for you when reading this! I just wanted to say come live with me! I have a girl living here with me who contributes nothing financially. she even has a job! She eats the food I cook and even invites her kids to come here and they eat me out of house and home! But I cant let them starve! (She is 43 years old) Im so sorry your dad is making you to feel this way! I pray that things are better tomorrow.