It's just too painful, I don't know what to do

Discussion in 'Breastfeeding' started by makecaker, Oct 11, 2013.

  1. makecaker

    makecaker mummy of 2, broody

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    My lo was born on Monday and I have absolutely loved bf her, I didn't enjoy feeding last 2 babies and only did it for a few days.
    This time everything felt much different and happier and I was really enjoying it. Until last night.
    Lo slept through night on 1st (had to wake her to feed) then 2nd and third nights she just wanted to feed from 6/7pm until 2/3am when she finally settled, I was dealing with this as hubby is home during day so I can catch up with sleep. Last night my milk came in though about teatime. My boobs are rock hard!! I feel like I've had a boob job, I can barely move and can't lift my arms or hold baby anywhere near me! I wanted to bf so badly but at the minute I can't face it, she can't latch properly so that hurts even more! Had to give her formula last night just to help her settle but then I just felt bad because she kept spitting it out and looking for breast, I was really enjoying the bonding through bf and her being all mine!
    I have tried expressing a little by hand but the pain of massaging breasts is too much, I've tried manual pumping a little to relieve it but I hardly got anything out because again I think they are just to solid! I've been in the bath and had the shower on them but no relief.
    I'm propped in bed at the moment while dh has lo and Ive got breast pads on because I can feel milk trickling out so I'm not blocked up or anything, I just really don't know where to go from here.
    I want to achieve this so badly but I don't know how! At the same time this is our last baby and I want to enjoy every second of it not be worrying about feeding and being able to cuddle my baby.

    Sorry for the huge rant and I don't even know what I want anyone to say I just can't stop the tears!! My dh wants me to just ff so he can help so he's not being massively supportive about bf. I really don't know what I want now, I've read lots of stories online saying stick with it and in a day or 2 it will ease but then there are so many people still in my position weeks down the line! I've got to think of the whole family aswell not just me and baby.
     
  2. makecaker

    makecaker mummy of 2, broody

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    Has anyone just used expression to get through these few days and topped baby up with formula and then switched back to bf when things settle down?? I know they say keep feeding through it but I really not sure I can!

    I just feel as though I should be able to do this! Everything else pregnancy/baby wise has always been so easy for me
     
  3. nicki01

    nicki01 Well-Known Member

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    In not going to be much help as when I had this I just gritted my teeth and fed! But I can't imagine the pain if feeding is really that unbearable!
    Maybe try putting a warm flannel on the top of the breast and feed or pump as the warmth will encourage a let down and help the milk flow will should give you a little comfort!
    You need to somehow try and get some of that milk released to ease the pain if nothing else as you could end up with mastitis if they just keep filling!
    Really hope someone else has some better advice than me!!
     
  4. Mummy_to_be87

    Mummy_to_be87 Well-Known Member

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    I have breastfed two babies, in my experience when the milk comes in I had exactly the same feelings as you and I can sympathise with you, it is total agony but it will get easier just keep at it, I even had to squeal with the first few sucks and curl my toes just to get started but the more you feed the more relief you will feel, I tended to feed my girls and then when they were finished I would pump, pump and more pump, at the start barely any came out but the more I pumped the more came and then I froze it so my OH could feed them if I fancied a night out!! After about 3 months my milk supply changed and I didn't need to pump any more!! As for the breast pads I used to use 3 on each breast as the amount of ''coming in milk'' was huge!! I then reduced them over the months and eventually I didn't need them at all or even a bra to bed!! It can be challenging at the start but my advice would be if you feel like giving in don't as you are already doing a great job and the benefits of breastfeeding are amazing!! Congratulations on your baby and I hope you get through this stage...it will pass!! :hugs:
     
  5. nicki01

    nicki01 Well-Known Member

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    I've also read on here before that skin to skin will encourage a let down so maybe try naked baby and you with a warm flannel and gently pump! It's horrible how painfull and lumpy they get but the longer they are left to fill the worse its going to get!
    I know there is a really good website about breast feeding, any other ladies know it because I've forgotten?????
     
  6. makecaker

    makecaker mummy of 2, broody

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    I just feel so bad, I can hear her crying downstairs and it's making my breasts go crazy. I don't think it helps that I've had about 10 hours sleep since Saturday! Lol. Don't know whether to try and get midwife or something to come out to help.
    I think maybe I just need to man up! Lol. I'm sure once it's over I will be fine.
    I think my fear is that it wont go after the couple of days and im just dragging out the whole horrible process to end up with the same outcome of giving up anyway!
     
  7. Rachel_C

    Rachel_C Well-Known Member

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    Honestly, and I know this sounds harsh, just feed your baby! Your boobs are so sore because they need to feed her. You can express but it's never going to be as effective at removing milk as your LO, so it'll not make the pain go away as fast and you also throw a load of other problems into the mix like LO getting nipple confusion or you having supply issues.

    It can be really painful at first but I always found after the first minute, it felt a lot better, even getting to be nice a bit further into the feed. Get yourself as comfortable as possible, get a drink, definitely some chocolate, something on TV and maybe something to squeeze if it hurts and pop baby on. Let her feed as long as she will - the more often she feeds, the less chance there is of your boobs getting painfully full. If she can't latch at first, express just enough to soften your boob a bit so she can latch then put her on.

    I know you're scared of BF not working, but not feeding LO is a sure fire way to make sure it doesn't.
     
  8. Katteh

    Katteh Well-Known Member

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    I hate to say it but you just need to feed her! It's the only thing that will help. These days are essential for setting the groundwork for your supply and if the milk isn't removed, your body will not know to produce more for your baby. Try warm clothes or towels over your boobs before feeding and take some painkillers and hopefully it will improve quickly for you x
     
  9. annio84

    annio84 Grace's mummy

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    I know it's painful but the best way to get through it is to feed her as others have said. The thing is as well I found in the first few days I always felt better after a feed.
     
  10. justkitty

    justkitty First Time Mum

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    I'm two weeks in to bf my last baby and I struggle with pain, cracked bleeding nipples due to possible ptt causing bad latch. Engorgement pain where she struggles on the left boob. It's awful yet lovely.

    Give yourself a break. Your hormones are all over the place which is normal. You do need to feed baby to get it to settle down. I have sat crying in pain during feeds but if you really want to bf then just grin & bear it. No harm in a ff top up if nipples get too painful. No harm in swapping to ff if that's what you want. But make sure you make the choice based on what you want not what you feel forced into. I was so ill after my ds was born I couldn't feed him. So when dd was born two weeks ago I knew I wanted to feed her. In moments of pain when I've wanted to quit I ask myself why. If it's because of pain then it's me feeling forced.to quit.

    Go see a breastfeeding support person or group and get help too.
     
  11. Piper84

    Piper84 Well-Known Member

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    Feed, lansinoh, bare breasts, sunlight, feed, lansinoh, bare breasts, sunlight!

    The first week or so of feeds can be toe-curling, but just get past this hurdle and you'll be so glad you kept at it. Remember your supply may be affected if LO isn't feeding regularly!
     
  12. makecaker

    makecaker mummy of 2, broody

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    Thank you ladies, I gave in and I've fed her! Omg it feels 100% better! Even just one feed! I think the huge mix of exhaustion, hormones and it being the middle of the night just tipped me over the edge! Sorry for the moaning! Fingers crossed it keeps getting easier and my boobs settle down ASAP!
     
  13. justkitty

    justkitty First Time Mum

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    Well done!!! You should be proud of yourself. Always hard when ypur husband doesn't support you! I briefed my dh in advance as to what was normal etc so he would encourage me.
     
  14. makecaker

    makecaker mummy of 2, broody

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    He is really supportive, I don't think he realises how supportive he is actually being. He just sees it as a solution to the problem is ff so he can genuinely help cos he doesn't know what else to do. It makes the most sense I suppose from a completely non emotional practical view.
     
  15. nicki01

    nicki01 Well-Known Member

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    Glad your feeling better, It gets so much easier, your going through the worst of it regarding the engorged boobs now! I'm 12 weeks into bf and my boobs never get engorged now! They feel like they did before I was pregnant, only if she misses a feed do they feel slightly harder. You milk will settle over the next 6/8 weeks but baby will get out what they need! It's so hard in the beginning!
    What kept me going was telling myself 'keep going untill tomorow' I thought this every day in the beginning but now its a doddle and Quitting doesn't cross my mind!
     
  16. justkitty

    justkitty First Time Mum

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    Aw sorry I misunderstood!
     
  17. Katteh

    Katteh Well-Known Member

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    Brilliant news! Welldone, you're doing a fantastic job. Try and encourage regular feeds and it will only get better xx
     
  18. w8ing4bean

    w8ing4bean Well-Known Member

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    Well done hun!! Just feed feed feed. However painful, just keep at it. Soon it'll pass and be so easy. You're doing brilliant xx
     

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