I've made the decision! feeling guilty thou!

[excited becky]

Well i've finally made the decision to go onto fully formula! I've breastfed for 10 days and have decided to change as i feel that i am constantly feeding and am stuck to my couch and as o/h goes back to work on mon i really don't wanna be stuck at home all day because of b/f!

I have been giving baby a formula before bed at night and it's the longest she sleeps, she just seems full and content after a bottle of formula!

But i am feeling soooooooo guilty! My o/h is very supportive and any decision i make he is happy with, but i still feel like i have let little one down in some way??!!

I'm due to get baby weighed on Thursday and i know the midwife is going to be questioning why i have changed!!

I suppose i just need a few words from you lovely ladies reasuring me that i am doing the right thing!!

Thank you!!!

xxxxx

 

[Vici]

One thing I tried my hardest to listen to was "happy mummy, happy baby". I too felt terrible when I made the decision to switch to formula and it lasted a good few weeks with lots of tears! I had been unable to BF so had expressed for 6 weeks but it was too much for me. Imi is thriving now and I don't look back and regret my decision. I have more help, I sleep more, she sleeps more and we even got to go to a friends wedding in Wolverhampton

 

[excited becky]

That has made me feel so much better! Even brought a tear to my eye!! Thankyou for your kind words!!

xxxxx

 

[Kit]

I coludn't breastfeed exclusively due to a very low supply - we introduced formula after a week or so and gradually had to increase it until he was only breastfeeding once a day and having one bottle of expressed milk each day by about 6 weeks. I then managed to hang in there with one small breastfeed per day until 3 months when he completely lost interest. This actually worked out quite well for us - we got out and about and I felt less guilty about it as he was still getting a little bit of breastmilk. If you feel guilty about your decision (not that there is any reason to!) why don't you try something like this rather than making a complete change? Perhaps the tiny bit of breastmilk each day made no difference to him, healthwise, but it made quite a big difference to how I felt about the situation!

 

[Scally]

I cried so much when i gave up at 4 weeks, i felt so guilty and thought my OH was disappointed in me (he really wasnt). Its mad how people are made to feel guilty, formula is not poison! Izzie has really thrived on it, and is so much more content, probably because i am happier.

 

[Mary Jo]

I coludn't breastfeed exclusively due to a very low supply - we introduced formula after a week or so and gradually had to increase it until he was only breastfeeding once a day and having one bottle of expressed milk each day by about 6 weeks. I then managed to hang in there with one small breastfeed per day until 3 months when he completely lost interest. This actually worked out quite well for us - we got out and about and I felt less guilty about it as he was still getting a little bit of breastmilk. If you feel guilty about your decision (not that there is any reason to!) why don't you try something like this rather than making a complete change? Perhaps the tiny bit of breastmilk each day made no difference to him, healthwise, but it made quite a big difference to how I felt about the situation!

I could have written this word for word, it's our situation exactly. He's just 3 months now and at the point where he wants to feed when we cuddle but when I offer the boob he sucks three times and pulls off, I think he's frustrated that it doesn't come out as fast as the bottle. I express and he gets some bm ever day but it's dwindling fast.

I understand your feelings, it is hard to switch when you've had it rubbed in so much how breastmilk is infinitely superior, but like Vici said, happy mum, happy baby, and if it's not working for you, for whatever reason, it is your choice to make the switch and it's such a shame we're made to feel guilt over it, after all, we all have different circumstances, we're all different, and what is the right decision for one family may not be for another.

I would have liked to have fully breastfed but it was never going to happen so I have embraced formula - I had to, in order to maintain my peace of mind. Giving him what I can, while it may not make much difference to him, certainly makes me feel a bit better, and I haven't had any grief from the mw or HV - while they are extremely pro-bf, and have encouraged me in carrying on as far as I can, they support my choices. My son is thriving. Formula is NOT poison, for some babies it is a lifesaver.

Whatever decision you make, what's most important is that you are fully at peace with it.

 

[excited becky]

I feel i need to change as i have had a few nights constantly feeding crying my eyes out! I def think me being happy will be better for baby in the long run!
As we speak i have just given baby a bottle and she is fast asleep snoring away!!
Thanks ladies you have made me feel better!

xxxxx

 

[dali]

hun , i know there is so much pressure out there to BF, but dont feel bad for doing what is right for you and your lo.

and as someone else said formula is not poison, it may not be as natural as BFing but it still has everything your baby needs in it. my lo was ff from birth and he is a happy healthy 20 month old now, it has certainly done him no harm
and to quote someone else above , "happy mummy = happy baby"

 

[excited becky]

Ok,i've been thinking long and hard and i'm going to try expressing a couple of times a day for as long as my milk stays in so baby can still have a bottle of my milk a day, even if it's for the next couple of weeks i think it will make the decision a bit easier for me!

Thanks everyone for your kind words and advice, they really do help!!

xxxxx

 

[history_girls]

I was in exactly the same position. When LO was about 5 days old she would b/f for about 4 hours at a time and then one night she fed on and off for 12 hours! She lost almost a pound in the first week and was screaming for food! At 5am one morning OH went out for formula and since then life has been so much better! I expressed two bottles worth a day for about 10 days but she was never satisfied on them and found she would need 1 or 2 oz of formula to settle. She now at almost a month is on formula all the time.

I felt relieved to start with when i gave up b/f but now feel slightly guilty that perhaps i gave up too soon but in reality bottle is easier! It has meant that my mum can stay one night a week to give me and the OH some time off!

 

[jayne191284]

I couldn't breastfeed and expressed for 5 weeks with the odd bottle of formula. I made the decision to switch to formula and its been the best thing I did. Oliver is much more settled and we get out more without me having to plan when i need to express.

Formula isnt bad for babys or it wouldnt be sold!

x

 

[Lisalovesbean]

ok......my confession.......

I had a really traumatic planned c-section that went awry and ended up in a crash team section to get Marlow out and a crash team later on in recovery for me. We spent over twelve hours in theatre, it was touch and go....I almost died and Marlow also suffered....I was too ill to feed him so expressed donor milk was given to him from a cup. Then my milk came flooding in on day three, but Marlow was a slow feeder and falling asleep on the boob, so I persevered and bf'ed and on the mw's advice did 1-2oz top-ups after each feed of aptamil from a cup then a bottle later on....I kept this up until last week when went to the GP for our post natal check....

Marlow was weighed and was only 9lb 13oz at 11 weeks old, his length is 23 inches, his birth weight was 7lb 15oz and 18 and a bit inches long, he also lost over a pound in the first week after his birth so he was so tiny....my GP was not overly concerned at the pn check but Marlow is underweight for his age and length and is still in newborn/tiny baby size so after the weekend and in discussion with his Dad who said I'd done a brilliant job at nurturing our boy and that he was proud of me, but perhaps it was time to solely FF....and it was with great sadness that we had our last breastfeed and it was one of the hardest decisions to stick with as he lay in my arms gazing at me as my body fed him that final time...and I really cried and almost went back to do it again, but the FF is working, he is drinking a ton and faster than I imagined he would....

It was time to move on....my breasts gave him a great start for 11 weeks and 2 days and it was such a milestone for me to do that and I am proud of me too, however my Marlow's health and development means much more to me than the feelings of regret I've had this last week....it's the right thing to do, so onwards and upwards! (I have to make that my mantra!)

I've come to the realisation that however little breastmilk you give is a good headstart and we should never beat ourselves up if it doesn't work for you and formula is better than nothing, in some cases it's better for baby and mum!

 

[lexy604]

I have formula fed from the begining as i didnt want to constantly be tied to baby and so OH could help as well. My doctor always acts as if she forgets that i dont breastfeed and constantly makes comments like "oh ya you didnt even want to try" i could care less what people think my baby is happy healthy and content isnt that all that matters. I say its whats best for you and baby.

 

[pootle33]

I breastfed for 2 weeks but also switched to FF. I felt guilty like I was letting him down but to be honest I just found it so tiring and stressful especially when BF'ing every hour or so at night sometimes and taking 45 minutes to feed! OH was upset because he couldnt help and he was getting stressed and (call us selfish) but I do want him to be able to stay with his grandparents occasionally and didnt want to be expressing for 4 hours the day before he stays with them for example! I feel fine about FF now and I am much more rested and relaxed. I'm sure I will also get the third degree from the HV when I see her on Wednesday but I dont care.