I've spent most of the night crying

[irish_cob]

When I met my partner he already had 3 girls with his first wife - all teenagers by the time I met him. When we decided to ttc it took us 18 months, but eventually I was pregnant, and I was really hoping for a boy - he already had 3 girls, I wanted something different from what he had had with his ex wife. But no, she was a girl.

Fast forward 21 months, and I'm pregnant again - this time it was much easier - pregnant after only 2 months. Again I want a boy. But I keep telling myself there's no hope, it'll be another girl, my partner only makes girls. And yes, it is another girl.

I'm absolutely gutted. I spent most of the night in tears. My partner won't have any more kids, he will have 5 girls when this baby is born, and he's done. To make matters worse, one of his daughters had a baby last year and that's a boy. I feel terrible but I don't want another girl. I'm also really upset that this is my last baby, my partner simply will not budge on that, so I'll never ever have a son. I'm just so gutted and upset, and my partner is now telling me I'm upsetting his self esteem by crying.

I've totally lost interest in this pregnancy now, I just don't care. I know I should be happy and appreciative of the fact I've got another healthy baby on the way, I know other women who can't conceive would be snatching my arm off for a healthy baby girl etc etc etc. I know all that but it doesn't stop the tears falling and my heart aching for the son I will now never have.

And it doesn't help that every other person seems to be having boys - the other girl at work who is pregnant is having a boy, the last lady who just went on maternity leave had a boy. It's just me who can't have a boy it seems. Don't know what to do. Sitting crying at my desk is not getting me anywhere.

 

[Misscalais]

I'm sorry you're feeling this way ( I'm one of 4 girls but mum got one boy ) I know she would have been gutted if we were all girls.
I'm sure DD2 is just going to be amazing and you will love her to bits.
I'm ttc a girl after two boys ( this will be out last ) and I have that same dreaded feeling I've have two miscarriages this year and almost been ttc 12 mths so I just want a heathy baby at the end of the day but it doesn't take away that longing for a daughter.
I hope you feel better soon, I know it doesn't help but maybe one day you will have a grandson to love

 

[motherofboys]

Huge hugs. We are expecting our 4th boy. Theres one man in every generation of DH family who has only boys.
It is hard to let go of that dream of a certain gender. This baby may be my last. That made it much harder letting go of the dream of a daughter. I am now happy with the idea of 4 boys.

 

[MeAndMyShadow]

massive hugs hun xxxxx

 

[lesh07]

Hugs to you hun. I can understand your situation as i found myself in a similar situation 2 babies ago. I had a boy, girl, girl and then found out we were pregnant with another baby and after 2 girls i was 100% convinced i was going to have a boy but when we went for the 20 week scan it was a girl and i was quite harsh as i felt downhearted and just felt so low and hubby was happy with not having anymore!! Everyone else was hoping i was having a boy too as out of 7 grandchildren i had the only grandson and he was the 2nd grandchild born so it had been a while since the last grandson (10 years to be exact).

But my beautiful girl was born and it did not take long to bond with her and i actually grew unbelievably attached to her. We did everything together.

Finally managed to convince hubby to go for another and we found out it was a boy! Which was a shock as i was fully prepared to hear girl again and actually was looking forward to another little madam, lol.

We are even going for baby no 6 now.

Hope you feel better soon hunni. xx

 

[irish_cob]

Thanks ladies, I'm still feeling gutted but as my partner says, we have no choice, we just have to get on with it. I'm going to go and see a counsellor next week, I feel like I just need to get all the emotion and tears and hurt off my chest xx

 

[motherofboys]

His right, there isn't much you can do now the baby is on its way. But it doesn't change the way you feel. Its not like you can just suck it up and get over it. Its a good idea to talk it all out with someone who is not going judge. Good luck

 

[Pearls18]

Bless you hun, I feel the same but in reverse, we haven't found out yet. It's not that I don't want another boy but if I find out it's not a girl I will be grieving for the daughter we'll never have, I couldn't see myself as never having a daughter but at the end of the day it is a reality I may have to face but I know I won't "take it on the chin" I will need to grieve. I think it's great you're going to a counsellor. Instead of worrying about his other children and all the boys other people are having (something I am very guilty of doing) concentrate on your own family unit and all the wonderful things you will do as a family of four with 2 little girls. But definitely take time to process

 

[Lara310809]

I'm sorry I am pregnant with our third baby, and I'm pretty sure it's our third girl. We haven't had the gender confirmed at all, so of course we're not actually sure, but with I just feel certain that this is a girl. I also looked at the nub and skull from the 12 week scan, which I'm aware are only theories, and they both suggest girl. Also we kind of think now that my husband just makes girls. We're prepared for it, and expecting it. I've kind of made my peace with it TBH, so I'm not worried really, but I know how it feels to be bothered by it, because we have been in the past. You will start to feel better about things over time, but in the meantime don't worry about feeling the way you do, because its natural.