IVF over 40? I'm scared

[BBgirl]

I'm 41, nearly 42, we are desperately TTC baby no. 1 after only having got together with my OH 3 years ago. We've had the constant pressure of TTC during our relationship. We've had 2 miscarriages, Dec 08 and Dec 09. We conceived really quickly last time, 2 cycles each attempt. My OH has a normal sperm count and I'm told my AMH is the middle of the range for my age. For a year we've been trying, but only properly timing things right for the past 2 cycles. That's because I was on anti-depressants after the second miscarriage and wanted to come off them first. Now I regret that decision because suddenly it's as if my body's changed, in just one year. I'm so despairing right now. We might go for IVF in the spring, but wanted to give it 3 more good chances first. This month because I ovulate over Christmas Eve we're going to give the opk a miss and just bd every 2 days. It has become an utter obsession for me, and I don't know how I can face life if I find out some day I can't have children as I've always known I wanted a family of my own. I've been told there's a 21% chance of success with IVF at the private clinic but with my history of depression I am not sure if I will cope with the experience of IVF. We're both taking omega-3 and pregnacare conception vitamins. Does anyone have any thoughts?

 

[DaisyJump]

hiya,
not sure if youve been docs yet or if youve been referred for ivf but i would get the ball rolling with IVF if I was you just as funding for IVF on nhs is starting ti be cut and wouldnt want you miss out on it. You can try for 3 months whilst your waiting for IVF.
I really respect you for coming of the anti depressents before trying.

Im startin ivf injection in jan and although it is stressful, keeping focused on the outcome helps me and hubby stick together and get through it
good luck xx

 

[DillyC]

Hi, I am 37 and have just conceived following my first IVF cycle, I was so apprehensive but I have to say it was not as bad as i thought!!

However whether you are trying naturally or with IVF I would strongly recommend Acupuncture, it has kept me sane and I believe helped with the IVF being successful...

Good luck xxx

 

[mercyme]

Hey Dilly, we're the same blueberry size!

BBGirl -- Have you thought about IUIs first? I know the feeling of time rushing past, so if you went straight to IVF, that would make sense. But it sounds like you're still fertile -- and no male factor issues is a BIG plus -- so maybe one round of IUI might be worth it?
I went on Prozac right before starting IVF. Thank God! It was a life-saver. I was also doing yoga & going to church & making diet changes -- but I do believe the Prozac was a major factor. I had a miscarriage in March, and slowly sank into a depression over the subsequent months. By the time August rolled around (and we were thinking about moving to IVF, after two more failed IUIs), I was crying all the time, felt bleak & hopeless, didn't think any decision or outcome would be good (baby, no baby, IVF, no IVF...). So, yay for Prozac. I'm staying on it indefinitely.
Good luck with your decision! I know how hard it is. We did IVF with ICSI -- got lucky on the first try (only try, as it's drained our savings). Hoping that it doesn't end in miscarriage...

Wishing the best for you!

 

[BBgirl]

hey DillyC and Mercyme congratulations girlies! Well we had our first consultation appointment at the private fertility clinic. We're apparently not entitled to NHS fertility treatment because I'm over 40. We did ask about IUI and the consultant said the success rate would be too poor at my age. I guess he means if I got pregnant easily before it's more an issue with egg quality than the sperm getting to the egg. I had hoped to try IUI though. He said our only option would be IVF. Apparently 60% of my eggs are abnormal at my age so with IVF at least they can pick the healthier looking embryos to put back. I guess we've only had 2 really good cycles of trying to bd regularly in the ovulation week, which isn't a lot really. I'm hoping Preseed will help us too. IVF is on the cards for the spring failing the natural method. I have read that IVF will be made available to women over 40 in 2010 on the NHS, but it will be a bit late for us unfortunately. We are thinking of acupuncture for the New Year actually. Thank you DaisyJump for saying that, I think I have missed too much time (20 months over the past 3 years) trying not to conceive whilst on anti-depressants. I guess I was worried about the effect on the foetus. It's hard in life to know whether we are making the right judgment isn't it? I mean it felt like the right decision in my heart, but perhaps that decision alone has cost me my chance of being a mum. Sorry to be so depressing girls, I'm just having a bad day I guess. xxx

 

[DaisyJump]

i hope you get you baby wish hun.. dont give up yet.
You thought about adoption?
Don't regret any of your decisions...you never know what could have happened if you had made a different decision. good luck. xx

 

[FBbaby]

BBgirl, my pathway is very similar to you. We fell pregnant once and miscarried. My OH SA isn't great, but within normal range, and there is my age on my side, but still consider unexplained in that would time stand still, I would most likely fall pregnant at some stage...except that time flies instead and with that the quality of my eggs.

Our FS did advise against IUI too, although didn't disregard it, but said if we did do it, it should be medicated. In the end, there is no right or wrong, we could decide to let nature takes it course and hope that our time finally come, we could do 3 or 4 IUI or we could go straight for IVF. Our decision wasn't based on the likelyhood of success but on what would be most likely to makes us feel that we've tried everything and therefore being able to move on without regrets and that of course is IVF. We've decided to go for IVF in the Spring too. In the meantime, I've asked my FS to prescrive Clomid. He said there was no evidence of it helping me to get pregnant since I do ovulate naturally and regularly, but in the end did agree there was nothing to lose giving it a go until IVF.

Unfortunately, life is a teaser. I was on my own for 5 years after I separated and before I met THE ONE. We met on the internet (very romantic!), yet I worked 2 minutes walk from his house and he worked 2 minutes from mine (1/2 hour away). We shopped in the same corner shop and it is very likely that we passed each other there not having a clue... I get cross sometimes that we didn't meet years before when we would have had much more time to ttc but then I remember how fortunate I am to have met him. Many of my single friends are still single and I know they think I am massively lucky to be so happy with him and they are right. I hold on to this thought when AF shows up.

 

[BBgirl]

FB Baby have you read about CGH blastocyst screening? I'm ringing up to get more info on it. It's an advanced form of IVF where they will actually test your embryos for chromosome defects and then only implant the normal ones. It's only offered in a few centres in the UK. I have read really exciting things about it, but I'm still in the dark as to the success rate at my age, nearly 42, compared to conventional IVF. I do know that it costs an extra £3200 but it might be worth it if it works much quicker? My OH and I met through a friend when I was 31 but I feel like a prime idiot for not making the effort to get to know him better when time was on our hands. He was into night-clubbing (I'm not) plus we were just a bit too shy around each other to get to know each other better. Having said all of that I do believe everything happens for a reason, and hey, maybe 2011 will be the year for you and me both! Babydust...

 

[urchin]

Hi BBgirl (and a big ay up to FBbaby)
I'm in a similar position to you - 41, with one miscarriage behind me ... my FSH is 23 and AMH 3.2, so have been advised that donor eggs is the only way for me now.
I've been with my partner for 4 years (though only seriously for 2 1/2 of those). Although I've always wanted children, I've never been with anyone before who also wanted them - and I never really wanted to do it on my own.

I didn't know they were considering NHS funding for the over 40s - but I guess that will come too late for me. We are on the waiting list for donor eggs and hoping to get cracking (no pun intended) before the summer.

Good luck duck xx