My back is so sore today! I'm not sure why. feels like my pelvis is getting sawed in half... and that my legs are coming out of socket.... and that my lower vertebrae are becoming disconnected from the rest of the spine.
As most of you may or may not know, I haven't been able to go to work in almost 2 months now. The pregnancy has caused a lot of pain when I stand (it feels like a burning pulling underneath the bump on the left side (where the baby's head is) whenever I stand for more than 5-10 minutes. I've basically been in bed watching TV or sitting at the computer all day, every day.) This has caused a lot of tension in the household, because it's a huge loss of finances.
It's also really affected my morale... I hear about all of you being able to work up until a scheduled leave and still being fit enough to work and do normal things. I walked to the store last night with OH and was in tears by the time we got back- it hurt so bad! The OB/GYN seems to think that my pain is nothing to worry about, and hasn't officially given me leave yet. I technically could go back to work any day I'm feeling better... but that doesn't seem to be happening. I just call out every day PDL (pregnancy disability leave), which doesn't put any marks against me. I just feel like less of a woman because I'm handling this pregnancy so poorly in comparison to just about everyone else.
Now I have another thing to worry about- OH was talking to one of our friends about my being laid up in bed for so long, and she was really concerned. She said if I'm not active and doing lots of exercise, labor is going to really be hard for me. She says that so many muscles are used during labor that if I'm not in shape, labor can last a really long time and it'll basically tear me up- making recovery long as well. This really, really bothers me. I was a dancer and walked everywhere before this pregnancy made me unable to anymore. I do get up and walk as much as possible, but it's such a minimal amount. I would do more if I could, but I can't. What am I supposed to do? I'm really freaked out now and, again, I feel inadequate as a woman. I was such an active person before- in charge of anything my body did- now I have no control of what my body is doing and can't push it to do the things I want it to do.
Any of you who could add your 2 cents would really be appreciated. I don't want a hard labor, and I don't want a long recovery.