Thank you so much, ladies, for your concern. Sorry I haven't been online in a while. I don't really have a good reason. Laziness is the best way to describe it. When I come on to this thread, I always like to read every post and respond the best I can, but I haven't had the energy to read comprehensively and type out responses that I feel you ladies deserve, so I've kept putting it off. Plus, I'm almost to the point where I don't want to hear about what is happening with other people, not so much that I don't care about you ladies and what you're going through, but rather that I care too much and it seems to affect me rather strongly. Plus it makes me worry about myself and my labor!
I was having a conversation on Saturday with another girl around my age who's expecting (her OH is a friend of mine from elementary school, and we had a small class reunion). She had a miscarriage in August, and now she's expecting again but isn't sure how far along she is (they didn't wait until her mp came around again) and she and her OH turned to me about advice on what to expect and what different things felt like. Her OH was also very concerned about what to tell her, and how to calm her (and himself down) while they wait for the first US. I told her that as far as I knew, it was safer for her to remain relatively neutral until at least 3 months, as then the baby is more likely to be properly sticky and reach full gestation. She countered me with a story that her SIL lost her baby 2 weeks before the EDD- the baby had choked on the umbilical cord! I really didn't need to hear that! I've been worried ever since. As much as I whine about all of Madison's movements, not I panic anytime I can't feel her move!
It's things like this that make me panic and want to crawl into a little ball in a hole and never come out. On one hand, I can't wait to meet my little girl. I'm proud as punch to be pregnant and everyone can tell, but when I'm at home, all I can do is worry about what still needs to be done to be ready for her arrival and how to take care of her once she does arrive. Even typing about it right now has me in tears. It's bad enough that I'm not able to go to work.... we're still stuck in the motel we've been living in with no car, and I'm not doing anything to help get us out of that situation! Plus, if I have no energy now to even do regular daily tasks, how am I going to have the energy to take care of a baby. It's all well to put off doing the dishes or laundry right now, but a baby's needs can't be ignored or put off. Plus, as much fun as the baby shower was, it's as though the guests didn't look at the registry at all and just bought things they thought were cute. They don't seem to understand that I'm a first-time mom and I need the basics- bottles, diapers, wipes, onesies, desitin, baby lotion, baby bath, bassinet, and burp cloths. I didn't need 10 pairs of booties and 5 sleepers! Now that's even more that we're going to have to pay for ourselves, and that means the longer we're stuck in the motel. I'm just so stressed and overwhelmed!
Sorry, I know I've been ranting, but I just wanted you ladies to see where my mind is at and why I haven't been on in a while. Just send your good energies this way. I'm scared I'm falling back into my depression.
Regina. I know it's all scary. That's where my faith really pulls me through. I am also a worrier, if my DH runs late after work all the strange scenarios run through my silly mind so you're not alone.
I promise, if I was to jump in the air, it feels like my water will break! Its too early for this! Yikes!
