Jealous...

[jaytee146]

I deserve to be roughed up a little, be gentle though ladies.

 

[Jennifurball]

It is natural to feel jealous when you see others living the life you thought you had, or could have had. Sadly for some of us, we get a dealt a rough deal, but I guess that is through us making bad choices (our exes).

My friend has the perfect relationship, he adores her, took her to Italy to propose, had a beautiful wedding, have a beautiful little boy and they couldn't be happier. It is hard thinking why don't I deserve that happiness but it has only made me more determined to make the right choice next time.

 

[jaytee146]

thanks for posting that! Idk why i feel like everyone is living a picture perfect fairy tale but me. i get depressed a little and feel lonely. i messaged my cousin and told her to call if she needed me and she called and asked was my pregnancy a time of joy and happiness. i said ugh no and she asked why until i explained how different our experiences were and will be and to not judge her pregnancy on what iWent through

 

[jaytee146]

 

[Dezireey]

It's only a small minority of people Hun who are that happy, trust me, relationships are bloody hard work and they may be all sunshine and roses to you but the reality can be very different behind closed doors. A LOT of men and women put up with terrible stuff just to stay in a relationship. I feel so angry sometimes that FOB is living the life he wants regardless of him having a child in the world. It makes me mad that one day he could think ' oh I really fancy a family of my own now' and he could go out, meet a woman and start his own family from scratch. I can't do that with My LO, there was only one chance for my first child and pregnancy to experience nice things with a partner, he robbed me of that and I'll never forgive him for it.

I have learned now that you are only as happy as much as you let yourself be happy. Don't dwell or brood on what could have or should have been. Make the best of every situation and if you tell yourself often enough that you are not jealous of these types of couples, you won't be. Mind over matter.

 

[Jennifurball]

Things are never as good as they appear. I had my OH there throughout the pregnancy, at every scan, really looked after me through labour etc but we only lasted 3 months after she was born. But still, how do I know there wasn't a single mum in the waiting room at my scan wishing she had her partner with her like I had? Truth is, we weren't happy together at all, but she didn't know that, she would have just assumed it.

A lot of my friends who have babies aren't happy with their OH so don't think seeing couples = happiness because it really doesn't, people just like to give that impression. How do I even know my 'perfect' friend is really that perfect? It is only the information she chooses to share.

Life is hard and things like this can only make us stronger. Let's hope we both meet someone nice soon to restore our faith.

 

[Dezireey]

Forgot to add that I remember when I was on the labour ward, my midwife and I had loads in common which we thought was spooky even the fact that FOB had left us whilst pregnant, she said they see far more single women these days on the labour ward than ever before and when I asked why she said, 'Well it's easier today isn't it for men to opt out, there is no stigma attached to it, no sense of duty.....you'd be surprised how many fathers we also see here that don't want to be here either and that's not because they are squeamish, they just don't want to be a Dad'

 

[emeraldbaby]

Im going through similar. You aren't alone in feeling that way.
I left my oh, but it has been no less traumatic than if he had left me. I wanted so much to have him be excited about the baby and show concern for me during the pregnancy, but he didn't, it was all about him and he treated me abusively since day 1.
Even after all that I get moments wishing he would be there for us... But its just a fantasy, it would never happen, he could never put himself second to anyone, not even a innocent baby. And if we were still living together now I know I'd be far more stressed and unhappy than I am now.
So I totally get all your emotions... I can't fully enjoy my ultrasounds, my baby shower etc. to the extent I know I could have if I had a great partner like others do.
But I won't let him stop me from moving forward bit by bit and living life. I will do my best to stop him from stealing anymore of my joy.
So hang in there till more time passes and the emotions are less painful and regular. Your little girl is lucky to have you, you will get through this. Remember you aren't alone *hugs*

 

[AnnabelsMummy]

This might sound crazy, but to the outside world, that's how it looked like me and my ex were..
it wasn't at all, as rosy as it looked, just remember people are very good at putting on fronts, and you never know what's going on behind closed doors!!

Also men take up alot of time and enegery, especially when they are the father of your children - i remember when i was in labour the midwife saying, that the happiest and proudest mums she sees, are the ones who don't have a partner! and i can believe that!

don't be jelous, be happy with what you've got. You are clearly a very strong lady, you're independant, you actually don't need a man. You're child is a complete product of you, and you've shown that although you've been through all of that, you've come out on top!!

To me, she should be jelous of how strong you are!

Also when you have all that happiness and it's dependant on someone else, you depend on them not to make mistakes or make you feel down - when you do it alone, nobody can take the way you feel away from you apart from yourself!! So your happiness is more real? if that makes sense!

 

[jaytee146]

Thank you ladies :wave: for giving me a new pair of eyes to look at this journey.

It's always good to know that in a moment of disappointment, and hurt that you all are here and so understanding

to everyone and HAPPY MONDAY! or MONDAY NIGHT! HA HA!

 

[Jennifurball]

HAHA, enjoy your new , love that hehe.

AnnabelsMummy - loved your post.

Let's be happy with our lives and relax