jealousy, anger when there should be happiness

[xkissyx]

Does anyone else feel angry or jealous when they find out thier mate/reletive is pregnant when ya should be feeling happy and excited for them? so far i've found out 2 of my friends are pregnant which i'm happy about because they've been trying for a baby and 2 reletive are pregnant and they didn't try at all and my cousin already has a little boy. 1 of my cousins with the little boy is with a guy that beats her n treats her like dirt and my other cousin is 19 sleeps around and has confessed she got pregnant to live off benefits also she doesn't know who the dad is. all this gets me angry and then i'm upset with myself for thinking they don't desearve these children and here's me settled with a lovely partner lovely home and want for nothing except a child to complete are family and yet the lord chooses to grace the undeserving.

i'm really upset with myself for feeling sooo jealous.

 

[BumpyCake]

Awww hunni. We all get a little upset when someone gets what we want and it seems like we've been trying forever. Just put on a smiley front for them even though it's really hard...maybe send a congrats card if you don't feel like seeing them at the moment.

Good luck hunni.

 

[mummykel1984]

hey )
my dps..brothers gf told everyone on sunday shes havin a baby...shes nearli 6 weeks...they werent even tryin was jus a simple pleasant accident iykwim??? and i am happy for them but i am incredibly jealous as we have been tryin for over 5 months now and nothin so far so i no how u feel huni...i think its understandable and basically jus human 2 have these feelins dont worry xxx

 

[Sambatiki]

yes yes yes and yes again!

I dont think that there is anything you can do to stop the jealousy.... But I do personally find that it comes and goes in waves.... some days I can deal with it... others I cant

 

[xkissyx]

thank-you all after having a talk with my cousin about baby names ect i feel alot better i suppose it does come in waves i'm tryin to relax more about tryin and i just gotta hold my horses n be patient 1 step at a time xxxx

 

[kmac625]

I know it can be hard, but that's good you're feeling a bit better now. My boss just had her second and this one was an accident (she didn't want more kids) and that really pissed me off.

 

[linsg]

Oh god, i know how you feel!!!

I had a misscarriage early in the year and would have been due now. My cousin was was pregnant at the same time and had a baby boy yesterday. I'm happy for them but really sad at the same time. I feel really guilty....

Hugs to you, hope you get your BFP soon xxx

 

[kit603]

I definitely know how you feel hun! I've just found out that I have Polycystic Ovaries and its been quite a struggle for me the past few months and when my friends and relatives get pregnant it really does make me jealous.

I have a cousin who was 18 in January and got pregnant "by accident" although we (friends and family) all think she did it on purpose to get a council house/benefits because she'd left home due to disagreements with her mum and was staying with friends. She was trying to get a council flat but kept losing them to pregnant women who were higher on the list... so possibly she thought it'd be an idea to get pregnant so she'd be the one getting the flat... She said it a few times you know "Oh I wish I was pregnant, then i'd be the one getting somewhere to live" then next thing you know she goes back to her mum's 2.5 months preggers!

She'd only been with her fella (the guy who got her pregnant) for like 3 months and it turns out that he's on bail for burglary and is liable to get up to 3 years in prison!! Up until 2 weeks ago she had the entire family thinking he lived about 30 mins away and was doing an apprenticeship! I can't imagine what sort of life they're going to give that poor little bean, she's dropped out of college and is getting just income support and JSA and he's probably going to prison. Poor little guy (she had her 20 week scan yesterday and its a boy)

It really makes me mad sometimes that people like her get pregnant the very first time they try, whilst people like me and my partner who both work, receive no benefits, both have cars and would provide and care for our LOs are struggling...

NOTE: I'm not judging people genuinely on benefits etc... but i'm sure most of you can understand where i'm coming from!

 

[modo]

My aunt is 45 and she has 3 children and she got pregnant by accident and had a baby boy. I have only been TTC for 2 cycles now but that still seems really unfair of God. They weren't even trying.

 

[xkissyx]

it's just so hard and i keep thinking when it gets to times like this that at the least i can provide for my child and i'm gunna try my best to give the child the best including all the love and support. i'm so relieved to know that i'm not alone on this i've baught my friends and cousins a little present today i don't want to feel like this and its so far from my personality. lets hope we all get BFP's soon xxxx

for those that need benifits and so are on them i am ok with but the ones milking the system i'm no fan of....

 

[kit603]

for those that need benifits and so are on them i am ok with but the ones milking the system i'm no fan off....

Definitely! I really didn't mean for my post to hurt anyone's feelings, and completely understand that sometimes people need that money and its not their fault. Its just that my cousin is 18, has never done a day's work in her life and has therefore never made national insurance/income tax contributions, and has said that once the baby is born she has no intention of going back to college or starting work and when the baby is too old to claim anything she'll "just have another"!

It does upset me that she sees her little bean as something to be used for monetary gain when me and my partner are trying so hard, not only to get pregnant, but also to be able to provide for our little one.

 

[AliBoo]

Oh I hear Ya!! In the last 2 months my best friend, Sister in Law (who were not TTC) and other friend have all got pregnant and 2 ladies have just finished at work to go and have babies! Everyone has one but me! When will be my month!

 

[QueenieMurphy]

Oh I know how you feel, girl I work with just found out she's 9 weeks pregnant with new boyfriend shes been seeing 3 months and shes deciding whether to keep it or not and when she told me all this I felf I'd been punched in the stomach, here's me desperate to conceive and shes wishing she was anything but pregnant. Still am over it now, just got to think positive that it will happen soon for usxxx

 

[Tinkermoo]

This frustrates me muchly. I have 2 sides that annoy me too.

1st side is I have told a few of my friends that we are trying and they are all either younger than me or just really not in the baby mind set so all they say is 'it's ok, it'll happen, just relax' What the hell do you know, your not going thru it!

2nd side the people that ARE going thru it are all my OH's friends who are older and starting familys and I can't even tell them we are TTC because my OH doesn't want all his friends knowing. It's so frustrating because all I wana do is go - OMG I have been trying for over a year and nothing happened, how the hell did you get pregnant!!

So i'm stuck in this middle bit... Pfft anyway end rant.

 

[kevbaby27]

It does make me sad then i feel guilty for being jealous.

I think it's human nature - but it's not a nice feeling!

You're not on youe own on this one

x
x

 

[fingersx]

OMG i no the feeling.

My cousins the same age as me and just got pregnant with her 4th baby, shes never worked a day in her life and still live with her parents who take care of the babies when she wants to go out. Then the other day i asked her if this was her last and she had the cheek to laugh and say no. I felt like screaming at her. Sorry bit of a rant.

I only want one little bean . We'll all get there one day!!!

xx

 

[kit603]

I think it's human nature - but it's not a nice feeling!

I agree, definitely normal but not exactly nice!

 

[kmac625]

My bro-in-law just got married and DH's mom had told me they would likely start ttc right away...I'm terrified they'll get preggers right away and before me. Totally unfair of me to feel that way, but I do! I'm horrible lol.

 

[ellie]

I had this too, for years ... started when OH's ex got pregnant by accident and was threatening to take an overdose and abort when all I wanted was a little one. i was soooo jealous ... since then almost every single one of my friends / family have had babies and I would cry every time I heard, then send them a congratulations card through gritten teeth and avoid them until I had psyched myself up enough to see them. I would also dread people getting married etc because I knew they would soon be pregnant (and they always were). OH used to go nuts with me, he wouldn't understand at all. now i am finally pregnant and I feel terribly guilty for all the bad feeling I had ... but it has helped me to understand how sensitive it is, and I am careful not to 'rub it in' to the friends that haven't been able to have a baby and have avoided me ... I have been sad about that but I totally understand why because I've felt it.
Try not to beat yourself up about it though ... it's natural for women to feel like this. Men don't get it and never could; neither can women who've never had to wait.

 

[Rabbittchild]

I have these feelings all the time. I work in hospitals so I'm always seeing people either going in for check ups or coming out with babies and it can make me so upset on the not so good days.

Two of my DH's cousins have got engaged this month and one of mine is getting married next year and I am terrified I won't be the first one pregnant - stupid i know but it's how I feel... I suppose we just have to keep positive and hope it will be our turns soon x x x