Joining you.. :(

[SimplyRhi]

Well, today the EPU confirmed that I have miscarried. My HCG went down to 280 today..... I will add my Post from tuesday to the bottom of this post... (FYI)

I had bleeding on the Monday, but not even a period's worth. Is this normal? Will i have more bleeding shortly when my HCG level drops to 0? When should I start TTC again and should I wait until after my next period?

I am so devestated right now... I just want to take my mind off it all, but I'm not sure what to do next! I had been having weekly acupuncture the last 3 months to actually get pregnant and now i feel like maybe i tried too hard?

Any advice would be so welcome.... xx

Hi Ladies,
I've had a horrific 36 hours... I'm exhausted....

Yesterday morning, i went to the loo and realised I was bleeding... so DH took me straight to the A & E nearest our work. When we got in there they did a preg test and sent me straight up to their 'Early Pregnancy Unit'. I waited (in pain and anxiety) for two hours to be told the doctor wouldn't see me until after i had a scan, so they booked me in for a scan - in two hours! So we waited etc, by this time the bleeding had eased off and the pain wasn't too bad. I had the scan done, and it was 'inconclusive' they saw 'nothing' - no visible sign of pregnancy, so we saw the doctor and she took a blood test and gave me an information sheet about PUL 'Pregnancy in unknown location' and sent us home Thats it. No consolation, no explaination, nothing.... (she called later to say the labs messed up the bloods and i would have to go back!!)

I felt utterly rubbish, I was bawling my eyes out. I just didn't understand how I was pregnant and they couldn't see anything?! Well, we got home at 5 and as I walked in the door I started bleeding bright red blood again and was in absolute agony. DH took me straight to our local A & E (in the hospy that I am booked for bubs) and within 15 minutes I was put in a cubicle, and had a canula inserted with fluids and blood taken. (I hadn't eaten or drunk anything all day, because I had only just got to work when we left for the first hospy) I was so dehydrated, and scared that I had a panic attack when they inserted anti nausea drugs in my canula and I felt it running through my veins - I thought it was anaesthetic!! I went dizzy, thought i was going to be sick and started slurring my words!! I felt so embarrassed afterwards when i realised what had happened..

The doctor came in and examined me, she was SO nice - I couldn't believe the service here compared to the first hospy... I felt safe and cared for. She examined me and said, yes i was bleeding, but not clots and that everything else looked fine and my cervix was closed. They couldn't let me go home in case It was ectopic and they still can't rule that out. So DH had to go home without me.. I was in tears. I still felt sick and was in pain but i refused to let them give me anything because i didn't want to take the risk of being sick!!

I felt so much better this morning and managed a cup of tea and the doctor came to see me to tell me my results would be in around lunch time, and what it was they were looking for. Everything was explained and simplified and I was reassured! He said that in majority of pregnancies at 5 weeks, you won't see anything on the scan and not to worry too much yet. The only way to really assess the situation is to monitor my HCG levels in my blood. They compare the results over 48 hours. So my results came back and were 1180, which confirms that i haven't 'completed' a miscarriage, but doesn't rule much out. I need for them to double by thursday when i get tested again for it to be 'viable'. So here I am, on bed rest having to wait, and wait.. Luckily If I have the blood test at 9am they should have results by mid afternoon....

 

[NatoPMT]

Hi Rhi, im so sorry for your loss

My mmc was later than yours so Im not sure if your bleeding is usual, but have they scanned you to make that confirmation? or was it just from the dropping hcg? As far as im aware, the hcg dropping is not going to cause bleeding, its the pregnancy loss that causes the hcg to drop rather than the other way round i think. If the mc is complete and thats been confirmed by a scan, the bleeding will gradually stop and you shouldnt have any more physical pain now.

youve had a rough time and all sorts will be going through your head, most of it caused by pain and anxiety - such as thinking youve tried too hard. Acupuncture is known to help, and wouldnt cause this awful situation to happen. Its just awful, horrible bad luck, nothing youve done is likely to have contributed.

hope youre ok x

 

[SimplyRhi]

Hi Nato

Thank you for commenting. I had another scan this morning which showed no visible pregnancy, so the drop in HCG obviously confirms it. I only bled on Monday, and I didn't even go through more than one pad, so It's almost like it's not over.. but I know it is.. I haven't had any symptoms at all. I guess only time will tell when my next period shows up...

I think you are right. I just had a chat with DH and he said 'there is no such thing as trying too hard' and he thinks I should keep up the acupuncture.. I think I need a good sleep and a fresh start....

Is it okay be be having unprotected sex for the next few weeks or should we wait until after my next AF?

 

[NatoPMT]

Yes, i can see why youd feel that way, its almost like how awful the situation is, deserves to have more physical consequences than you seem to have experienced. It also means all you have to focus on is your loss, which right now seems overwhelming, you just have to 'be' and feel whatever it is youre feeling

yes defo keep up with the acupuncture, if you got your bfp within 3 months it mightve helped, but not sure how long you were trying before. Either way, its good for you and lots of women on this forum have said it helps relax them. Think i might give it a go actually.

re: the sex, you have to wait until your cervix has closed, and im pretty sure you should wait until after the bleeding has stopped but i cant remember. Lemme check on google, but if you do it too early, you might increase your risk of infection. I think in your circumstances your risk of infection is prob lower because you had a natural, complete mc.

 

[NatoPMT]

according to google, you should wait 2 weeks before you bd, douche or use tampons.

 

[heart tree]

Well, today the EPU confirmed that I have miscarried. My HCG went down to 280 today..... I will add my Post from tuesday to the bottom of this post... (FYI)

I had bleeding on the Monday, but not even a period's worth. Is this normal? Will i have more bleeding shortly when my HCG level drops to 0? When should I start TTC again and should I wait until after my next period?

I am so devestated right now... I just want to take my mind off it all, but I'm not sure what to do next! I had been having weekly acupuncture the last 3 months to actually get pregnant and now i feel like maybe i tried too hard?

Any advice would be so welcome.... xx

SimplyRhi, I'm so sorry to read your post. You have been through a lot in the past few days. My mc's were different, so I can't speak to the bleeding. I had D&C's for both of mine. What I can say is that I did acupuncture to get pregnant also. I don't think that had anything to do with either of my mc's or yours. In fact, I think it has helped me to relax and has allowed me to feel less stressed. I think it is impossible to try too hard. NOTHING you did caused this to happen, though you may start thinking about things you did or didn't do that might have caused this. These are natural thoughts, but please know that women do all sorts of awful things to themselves and still go on to have babies. This most likely happened on the cellular level and nothing you did or didn't do could have prevented the loss. This doesn't take away the heartbreak though, I know.

For me the urge to TTC immediately after my losses has been great. I decided to wait for at least one period before trying just to make sure everything was back in working order. Circumstances forced me to wait until 2 periods however. It is a very personal decision. There is no good research to say what is best one way or the other. If you google when you should ttc after a loss, you will get conflicting answers. You need to go with your heart.

As for having sex, you should wait until you stop bleeding. Since I had the D&C, I bled for about a week. I waited another week to have sex because I was terrified of getting an infection. But that's me.

It is going to be difficult to take your mind off of such a life changing event. I encourage you to honor all of the feelings that are coming up within you. You will need space to cry. You should get a lot of hugs from DH. You should rest your body as much as possible. In the few days after my loss, the only thing that could keep my mind off of it a little bit was television and movies. I needed to escape into someone else's story. But eventually, I got back into my own reality. Going back to work after a break was difficult but good for me. It helped me to move on. Talking to my friends has also helped.

This is the hardest part. It might not feel like it right now, but I promise you, you will get through it. Allow each day to embrace you gently. Be kind to your body, your heart and your mind. Reach out to people, including us, when you need to. We're here for you.

Big hugs

 

[goddess25]

SimplyRhi I am so sorry for your loss. Everyone has a different experience my first MC i was bleeding very lightly for about 3 weeks and then really heavily for about a week with huge clots. It was about 6 weeks after the bleeding stopped that I had my first AF. My second mc i only bled for about a week but pretty heavily every day with large clots and i had lots of tummy pains. My AF took about 5 weeks to return and almost 4 months after its still not quite normal, i found that my first periods after MC were generally heavier with a bit more clots.

I dont know if this will be the experience for you as I say everyone is different but just incase you dont know if you are bleeding heavily if you are going through pads every hour or more i would pop to your doctor to be assessed.

I hope that everything happens soon for you and ends quickly.

Once again I am sorry. I know how you are feeling right now.

 

[kayla's mommy]

first i want to say sorry for your loss. i, to waitig for my regular af. i had a miscarriage at 5 weeks also. they had did a scan and saw nothing. just s they did with you. i was so angry when they told me that well we dont know. my regular doctor confirmed it when she says that my levels went from 210 to 18. so now im here sitting wondering when can i try again.

 

[africaqueen]

I am so sorry for your loss hun

We are all here anytime u need to talk and im so glad it was not a ectopic xxx

 

[SimplyRhi]

Thank you so much for all your kind words!

I am feeling so much more positive today.

Our friends lost their baby last year when he was 5 days old. So we feel that God wanted our special bub as an angel to help look after little Jonathan in heaven...

I'm still very excited to start a family, and this is just a speed bump in the road, it's not a dead end.... I said I wanted to embrace this entire journey and that's what I'm going to do.

I'm still very unsure about wether it is over though.... I started bleeding at work in the morning and only had a panty liner on, it didn't soak through (i changed it twice) by the time 5pm came, I asked for a pad, which also didn't soak through - I mostly had blood when wiping.. It wasn't flowing. It stopped Monday night and I've had no bleeding since.
I was examined on the same evening and my cervix was closed?

So I have no idea If I should have more bleeding soon? or If it is okay to start TTC now? I don't know If i want to wait for another cycle... but then, I feel like my body would know what is best and it's unlikely that i will get preg straight away anyway.....
Any harm just bd-ing anyway??