Judgment from Doctors - Rant

[Stacip]

Hi everyone,

I wasn't sure if I should put this in the breastfeeding section or the formula section...prepare for a rant.

So, I've been exclusively pumping for a month now.

Every time I go to my doctors (and even some nurses that were at the hospital) have been giving me shit for not breastfeeding! I feel like I'm getting more hate/confusion than if I was solely formula feeding (which I also think is a perfectly sensible choice).

I had a fairly traumatic birth experience (2 day induction, 1 day of oxytocin contractions, 5 epidural attempts, 4.5 hours of pushing, emergency c-section, hospital overcrowding, etc.) and wasn't feeling up to immediately trying to BF (I didn't want to add sore nipples to my growing list of ailments); I did start pumping though, and thought it was a great alternative.

People/things touching my nipples really upsets me (for personal reasons) and so I thought, as long as my baby is getting breast milk, that's great!

Well, every time I talk to someone they're like "oh well, you can't keep pumping much longer" or "how will you bond with your baby".

I'm just sick of the judgment I get for exclusively pumping!

END RANT

 

[minties]

How stupid!! What you are doing is amazing, and lots of hard work. You ARE breastfeeding, your milk is just taking a slight detour before it gets to baby.

 

[Stacip]

Thank you so much for saying that

That's how I thought too. I was like, "he's being fed on 100% breast milk...why does it matter how it gets there?"

I make sure to pump every three hours; including during the night! It's hard work, but it's what I want and am comfortable with.

I just feel like they think "oh well if she can pump she should be breastfeeding".

Ugh.

 

[fdcsw126]

They don't know what they are talking about. My daughter had some issues so I chose to ep when she was 2ish weeks old. EP is hard work and I still have an amazing bond with her!

 

[noon_child]

I can't believe health professionals would say that! How awful. Yes there are advantages to feeding directly from the breast, but guess what...there are advantages to listening to and supporting what mothers feel they are able and willing to do! Sure, I'd love to magic us to a place where you didn't feel aversion to breastfeeding, but that's not going to happen, and certainly wont be achieved by hounding or guilting an individual mother who is doing a really tough job. I'm still shocked they would be so unsupportive.

 

[kajastarlight]

Wow. That is unacceptable. You are doing a great job and it makes me nuts when people say things like breastfeeding directly from the breast is the only way to bond with your baby. SMH. Insanity

 

[Stacip]

Thanks everyone!

I thought maybe I was just being crazy.

This makes me feel much more confident in my choice. It's hard work, but I'm glad to be doing it

 

[Bevziibubble]

They are talking rubbish. How do they expect all the millions of bottle fed babies to bond with their parents. There's more to bonding with a baby than feeding method. You're doing great

 

[Sarahcake]

Absolutely crazy the attitude you get. I was forced into BF for a fortnight with my son. I had a similar labour to yours and my body shut down production of milk as I was in shock. I was passed out having a blood transfusion after birth and the midwife's were waking me to harshly tell me that pumping is no good I need to be directly feeding. So I sleepily did what they told me to and the whole experience was so horrific I couldn't do it anymore after about 2 weeks as o was just traumatised by the whole thing.

When I said to my midwife at the time that I had stopped BF/pumping and opted to formula feed instead, her reaction was akin to me telling her that I had done my son harm. She treated me terribly said I had made a mistake, that I'm putting myself first instead of my son which is terrible parenting ect. Awful.

This time round I'm mentally stronger and will be giving the first feed as BF to get the good stuff then swapping to formula and I don't give a toss what they say.

It's hugely unprofessional for them to be saying these things to you, they really know how to make a new mother feel absolutely shit sometimes. Fact of the matter, your baby is getting your breast milk it's just taking a diversion to get there! Were all just mums doing what we can and what we feel is best for us and our babies. Tell anyone who says otherwise to bugger off.

 

[noon_child]

They are talking rubbish. How do they expect all the millions of bottle fed babies to bond with their parents. There's more to bonding with a baby than feeding method. You're doing great

Yes! There has been a lot of hard work gone in to encouraging all parents no matter how they feed to do so responsively, to feed on demand, to feed skin to skin etc. People will wonder why to bother doing any of that if it makes no difference because 'only breastfeeding will do that'. There has also been a lot of work done to reassure Dads and Grandparents that they don't have to pressure mums to let them bottle feed because there are actually so many other things that they can do to build a relationship with the baby. The kind of reaction the OP has HARMS not only her self-esteem but I think it harms breastfeeding.

 

[lenorajoy]

As the others have said, complete nonsense! I'm sorry that medical professionals would treat you this way as that's the complete opposite of what they should be doing! I'm glad you posted here and received some reassurance that you're a great mother to your baby and doing nothing wrong.

 

[Witchrose]

Stories like this anger me terribly. NO ONE has the right to tell/coerce/force someone else to to something with their own body in any way shape or form.

If they say anything again, please stand up for yourself. Don't let them upset you. THEY should be the ones shamed.

Here are some possible retorts:

"This is my body. Not yours. How would you feel if someone tried to force you to do something with your body that you don't want to? That's actually a crime, ya know."


"How will I bond? With my heart."

"OMG! That's ridiculous, and so ignorant. What do you say to adoptive parents? Do you call them subpar?"

"No. A woman is not selfish just because she's thinking/caring about her own physical and mental/emotional health/happiness. To suggest so is misogynistic. Women matter in and of themselves, too. Shocking, I know!"

 

[Sarahcake]

Some cracking answers there Witchrose. I'll defo be throwing them out there this time round.

 

[Stacip]

Thanks everyone! Glad I posted; this has made me feel so much better. Feeling more confident in my decision

And witchrose, I'll have to remember those haha. I've actually gotten to the point that I'm gonna just say I'm breastfeeding so I don't have to deal with the "look".

 

[blueblue]

Awful people, completely unprofessional! They shouldn't speak to anyone like that!

Pumping is very hard, harder than breastfeeding, they shouldn't be admonishing you, they should be giving you a medal!

I had EMCS and baby wouldn't feed, then I pumped and didn't get enough milk (am still a bit angry at how the medical professionals didn't suggest I top her up with formula until she got low blood sugar). Eventually got her to bf (after I quitting pumping as it was so hard) and happily combi-fed after that, we always needed formula and that was fine.

They need to be more supportive of however a mother wants to feed their baby.

 

[Symphony7]

Feed your baby however you want. You are doing what's best for you, what does it matter how she is fed as long as she's eating?

I personally hate pumping so I commend you. I get so cranky when I have to pump enough to make a bottle for me to leave the house without baby and have considered just doing formula for those times. I'm kind of also stingy with money since I'm not working so I haven't gone that route yet because I don't want to spend the money for something I can get for free and am just too lazy to do. But if it gets to be too much of a hassle I will, and you know what? Baby will be fine either way.

 

[justmeinlove]

Dude. I am a huge fan of breastfeeding and for me it was the one thing that actually went well, so much so that I have been doing it for a few years now!

I had a friend at the same time who exclusively pumped for a year. I was in complete awe of her - she totally deserved daily praise and worship, and so do you. Your medical people are jerks and if you feel brave enough to put in a complaint, you would be doing a good thing

 

[Twag]

I think what you are doing is amazing pumping is damn hard work much harder I would say than feeding directly from the breast

I breastfed with ease thankfully but when I went back to work at 6 weeks and had to pump OMG that was hard work and I found it just so stressful

Ignore those ignorant people you are doing an amazing job