just a rant with some of my worries! (Sorry)!

[sjg333]

Hi I'm kinda new here (very new on this WTT board) and just wanted to get some things off my chest about wanting to try, my fears and hopes etc coz my partner doesn't really understand some of these things!

I fell pregnant 'accidentally' in late September but suffered an early miscarriage. Before my pregnancy I didn't really think about having children in the near future but as soon as we found out I was pregnant we both got so excited and were really happy about it! We're in a good enough place to have a baby, but I dunno I just always imagined myself older (I'm 22 my boyfriend is 32). But now ever since I just feel so ready! We've talked about trying for a baby but decided to not try but not use contraception either and just go with it....

One thing it am majorly REALLY scared of is morning sickness (or any sickness at that) I've suffered with emetophobia (fear of vomiting) really bad since I was little. I know babies are always throwing up... That I can cope with, it's the feeling of ME physically throwing up I am absolutely petrified of! It is such a strong phobia I have been on anti anxiety medications for years, I'm a hand washing freak (but not to the extent I'm bleaching my skin off or anything that dramatic). So literally my biggest fear of pregnancy is... Vomiting! How ridiculas is that! And this is one thing my OH really doesn't understand or relate to! So I wondered if anyone here by any chance has the same phobia?!

Another worry is... I'm epileptic, I didn't have my first grand mal seizure until I was 15 and I haven't had one since I was 18ish I am on great medication for that, but what if my medication would need to be changed during pregnancy and i had a seizure and it affects my baby?!! That is another really scary thing!

And my last but not least (major) worry is childbirth! I do pain well at all and I can't imagine anything more traumatic than squeezing a human through my down below.... I know at the end it's all worth it but what if I have hours and hours in labor or something goes wrong and it all hurts more than it does for other women... I don't know, that's just a huge worry!

I have no worries about bringing up a child, I know I won't be perfect as nobody is and there's no handbook that's gonna pop out along with baby to keep me on the right tracks... But I know me and my partner will do absolutely everything to raise a happy, healthy and much loved child.

I'm so sorry for my blab here I just needed to get it out of my head!

 

[Angel_blues]

My SIL has something similar, not sure if it's the same (sorry not very close she lives 6 hours drive away) her doctor put her on anti-nauseants and she did wonderfully with them.

As for the pain, they do put you on pain meds of you want....

 

[Caite]

Hi sjg

As Angel_blues said, your GP can put you on anti-emetics if needed. There are also other things which are recommended to help women combat morning sickness. Travel sickness bands are meant to work, as is ginger (such as ginger biscuits).

The hand washing - well I'm not sure about that. I do know that babies are messy and the amount of times I have had baby sick/pee/poop on me at work is unbelievable! If the handwashing and emetophobia are having a big impact on your life, could you not see your GP for counselling of some description?

Whilst I've not had a baby myself, I have delivered/observed numerous deliveries and pain is different for every woman, I'm afraid. Some women cope really well with it and others don't. I think lots of preparation for labour, understanding what happens and what to expect can help women get through it. But it is also a case of mind over matter to some extent. The women who try to convince themselves they are not going to have any pain, and the women who convince themselves they are not going to be able to cope with the pain are ill-prepared and struggle to deal with it. The women who know that they are going to have some pain, but they have had a think about their pain relief options and actually understand what happens in labour and what timescales they could be looking at, they are the ones who seem to cope best with labour.

Having done my midwifery training, I know only too well that things can go wrong in labour. I also know, however, that what we (healthcare professionals) see as something going wrong is actually rather rare.