Hello ladies just a moan.
Well im here today to say that im not looking forward to the next 2 weeks. I had my m/c 23rd Oct. At 10wks4days. I would have been 20wks on the 28th Dec. I had an awful time with my other half from the day i found out i was pregnant to the 3 weeks after the m/c. He treated me so so bad. Then he came to me and said how sorry he was. And we had been getting along better than we had in nearly a year. We are ment to be going on this lovely holiday on the 22nd dec with his family till the 29th dec. I know i am very lucky to be going away at this difficult time of year for us ladies. But on monday i found in his fone he had been txting his ex that he already had cheated on me with. We had a huge argument. He said he will do what he wants and speak to who he wants even if it means us splitting up.And i was telling him he has put me through to much this year. After every thing weve been through. I said " and have you forgotten what happen a wee while ago" he said " what was i talking about" I said how about all the emotional physical pain id been through. And the fact id just got my self back to " normal" in the past 2 weeks. He said i dont know what your talking about. I screamed at him " Our baby died i lost my baby. I had a miscarriage i went through everything alone from day one. I took you back i help you grieve. And your still wanting to throw it all away to be in touch with your ex" He said " You lost your baby not OURS". At that i told him to f*** o** and left. Iv been bottling things up for so long im so not looking forward to the holiday. Or the 28th I would be finding out if my angel was a boy or girl. I should be eating for 2 at xmas instead im going to be sitting in a pile of my own tears crying for the loss of my poor poor angel just like now. Also everyone thinks im fine. Because there the words that come out my mouth. I can see when my friends look at me and ask me how i am they dont really want me to talk about the baby. They change the subject so fast. And i say " yeah im fine anyway". But im not im really not i want to be 18wks3days pregnant. I dont want to be sitting here crying over my wee baby in heaven.I just feel so hopeless.
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Well im here today to say that im not looking forward to the next 2 weeks. I had my m/c 23rd Oct. At 10wks4days. I would have been 20wks on the 28th Dec. I had an awful time with my other half from the day i found out i was pregnant to the 3 weeks after the m/c. He treated me so so bad. Then he came to me and said how sorry he was. And we had been getting along better than we had in nearly a year. We are ment to be going on this lovely holiday on the 22nd dec with his family till the 29th dec. I know i am very lucky to be going away at this difficult time of year for us ladies. But on monday i found in his fone he had been txting his ex that he already had cheated on me with. We had a huge argument. He said he will do what he wants and speak to who he wants even if it means us splitting up.And i was telling him he has put me through to much this year. After every thing weve been through. I said " and have you forgotten what happen a wee while ago" he said " what was i talking about" I said how about all the emotional physical pain id been through. And the fact id just got my self back to " normal" in the past 2 weeks. He said i dont know what your talking about. I screamed at him " Our baby died i lost my baby. I had a miscarriage i went through everything alone from day one. I took you back i help you grieve. And your still wanting to throw it all away to be in touch with your ex" He said " You lost your baby not OURS". At that i told him to f*** o** and left. Iv been bottling things up for so long im so not looking forward to the holiday. Or the 28th I would be finding out if my angel was a boy or girl. I should be eating for 2 at xmas instead im going to be sitting in a pile of my own tears crying for the loss of my poor poor angel just like now. Also everyone thinks im fine. Because there the words that come out my mouth. I can see when my friends look at me and ask me how i am they dont really want me to talk about the baby. They change the subject so fast. And i say " yeah im fine anyway". But im not im really not i want to be 18wks3days pregnant. I dont want to be sitting here crying over my wee baby in heaven.I just feel so hopeless.
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, Omi xxx
