Just can't get my head around it!

[maryanne1987]

Baby steps....that is my new moto

 

[blueblue]

It's normal to feel like this, I've had 4 early losses in the last few years and I'm now 20 weeks pregnant - it's been really hard to get my head around it and it's only today where I was able to see the screen for the whole time at my 20 week scan that I really feel it's happening. The anxiety from losses and long TTC journeys is very hard to shake - I don't think I'll ever feel "normal" about it, but I'm trying to enjoy it as much as I can. I've found it difficult to be around family who are really excited and want to talk about it all the time - it doesn't help my MIL has been going on about movements since 13 weeks and doesn't understand why even at 20 weeks I get really anxious about scans (my losses have been mmc's and I've found out at scans). Thank you for sharing for stories, I hope it gets easier for everyone soon .

 

[maryanne1987]

It's normal to feel like this, I've had 4 early losses in the last few years and I'm now 20 weeks pregnant - it's been really hard to get my head around it and it's only today where I was able to see the screen for the whole time at my 20 week scan that I really feel it's happening. The anxiety from losses and long TTC journeys is very hard to shake - I don't think I'll ever feel "normal" about it, but I'm trying to enjoy it as much as I can. I've found it difficult to be around family who are really excited and want to talk about it all the time - it doesn't help my MIL has been going on about movements since 13 weeks and doesn't understand why even at 20 weeks I get really anxious about scans (my losses have been mmc's and I've found out at scans). Thank you for sharing for stories, I hope it gets easier for everyone soon .

Thanks for sharing hun. Really glad your scan went well!

 

[blueblue]

Thank you

 

[staycb01]

You are so not alone! What you are feeling it totally and completely normal! I'm feeling very similar to you.... We've been trying for 2 years.... 12 chemicals and one 9 week MMC last year. I was a mess and wouldnt even acknowledge the pregnancy for the first 10 weeks. Now, I've slowly - and I mean very slowly am starting to come around to it but like you, I just can't imagine that I'll have a baby in my arms finally come November. All my 1st trimester I was googling things about miscarriages and now even in the 2nd trimester, I google "chances/reasons for 2nd trimester miscarriage". I still worry every single day - I'm thankful for my Doppler to put my mind at ease for a day or so once I hear my little one.
I'm so sorry about your losses previously. I don't know too many other women who have had chemical pregnancies especially more than one.... did they every figure out why? Do they know what caused the later miscarriage?
You are 26 weeks along, and I think it's safe to say you will be having your rainbow honey! Xx

 

[NatalieGrace]

Please don't ever feel like your feelings are wrong. They are not wrong at all, they are completely normal and natural feelings. It is human nature for us to feel the need to protect ourselves. It's a subconscious reflex to keep ourselves from getting hurt. It took my husband and me 7 years and 2 losses before I had my daughter, and I can honestly say that there was little to no bonding with her before she was born. It was almost as if she was a theoretical concept, it would be nice to have my baby but it would never actually happen. I had built a very strong wall between me and my baby because I couldn't allow myself to feel that pain again, and I was SURE something would go wrong. I almost had an anxiety attack right before and after my baby shower because I kept thinking of all the gifts I would have to return and all of the people I would have to notify that the baby wasn't actually coming. The moment she was born and they laid her on my chest... it was a complete shock that there had actually been a baby in there the whole time. It did take me a couple weeks to really STRONGLY bond with her, but she is my whole world now. I promise it will happen, allow yourself to feel the way you do and don't beat yourself up about it. It's hard for your husband to understand, it doesn't mean he's a horrible person it's just a feeling that he can't fully understand. I hope he lets up on you, you're doing the best you can and you are going to be a wonderful mother.