just dont think i can do it....

[pcsoph2890]

I've had really hard times with bf. Firstly I got the latch wrong and had awful painful bleeding nipples. After much help it got slightly better and I used ff to help me recover and give myself a break as I was so emotional from it all.

Now almost 3 weeks in by the end of the day I'm in pain again. She'll latch on and feed for about 30-40 mins per boob. But as soon as she delatches she screams with hunger again, so I put her back on the boob (by which point I'm getting sore again) she sucks but it hurts so I delatches her. I then cause of her screaming, head bobbing on me and sucking of hand succumb and give her a bottle of which she guzzles down, finishes and passes out.

I really want to ebf but just don't think I'll be able to do it. I don't know whether my supply has diminished due to ff I give her on top.
I've started taking fenugreek to boost supply, so that I have brought to fill her up.

I honestly feel like such a failure that something that should be so natural I find just so hard and painful.

I'm going to a lady leche group hopefully on Friday and get some more help. I started going to this be group in my area too which I love and really want to continue going to, but if I ff then I can't!!!

I've tried to do all the techniques of getting as much areola in her mouth as possible to make it more comfortable, but I think the damage has been done and no matter how much lanisoh and ebm I put on my nipples it just doesn't help....

Sorry for my rant, suppose I'm just airing my frustrations on here.

Thanks for listening!!!

 

[HappyHome]

You are definitely not alone, I'm getting to that point too, I wondered if there was something wrong with me as I dont enjoy feeding my dd with my breast.
My dd is on the 2nd percentile and it scares me that if I can't feed her properly I'll make her ill.
I'm not sure I would have got this far without the ladies on this forum.

 

[pcsoph2890]

Oh me too. My little lady was tiny to begin with.... when it doesn't hurt (usually after a good few hrs break) I really enjoy it. But then it starts hurting and she seems to get much more fulfilment from ff....

I'm so torn as to what to do... I so want to be able to do it as and when, but I spend ages feeding her on the boob to just feeding her with ff, so I'm thinking should I just bypass the boob and just give her what she wants????
But on the other hand being stubborn I don't want to let this get the better of me and want to beat it and win to say I achieved ebf!!!

 

[Pielette]

I'm sorry you're having a hard time

If you do want to continue, there are a couple of things you should bear in mind. There is a 3 week growth spurt, which she is no doubt going through at the moment. Honestly during growth spurts I thought I would lose my mind! Absolutely constant. But the idea is they're building up your supply so that you have enough milk in the future.

Secondly, a baby will, 99% of the time, take a bottle after nursing because it's easy and it's there. Please don't read anything into it in terms of your milk. However it can negatively impact on your supply because if they're taking the bottle they're not signalling to your breasts to make more. You can be fooled by a baby's behaviour after ff - it's harder to digest so makes them sleepier, it doesn't mean they're more content, just that their digestive systems are working more. Breastmilk is lighter on their tummies.

Growth spurts are awful, baby is fussy, irritable, constantly on and off the breast. But it doesn't generally last long, usually a couple of days.

Do exactly what's right for you, I just wanted you to know that you're in a rough little phase and you may well be able to ride it out if that's what you want I also found that it started getting much easier for me after the 3 week mark.

 

[missk1989]

I second what the pp said. Consider everything and keep in mind that it will get better in time.

 

[candycrush]

I too have found breastfeeding very difficult, and now use shields for every feed as my nipples were shallow and the feeding was causing them to be sore. the shields have been amazing! I have heard that using them can affect your supply, but I also express every day and have not noticed any problems with my supply xxx

 

[HPmum2B]

Do you flatten your nipple out to help baby latch on? I literally press my nipple flat. I also keep my hand in that position on my boob for about the first 5 mins of the feed, otherwise my LO de-latches.

Have you tried taking paracetamol? If you take it about 30 mins before a feed, it might help?

Also, after feeding, sit with no top on, let the air get to your nipples (Your OH will love it!! ;-p)

Have you had someone check your baby has a good latch?

 

[halullat]

I found the first few weeks agonising but am feeling much better with it now, my LO is 6 weeks old now and is constantly feeding, stopping then wanting more, then screaming when I try which is stressful but with the pain being so much better it is so much easier to cope with but at the beginning when you are in pain and stressed it feels overwhelming.

Absolutely do what is right for you and your LO, you will not be failing your LO in any way by switching to formula but honestly it did get better, seek as much support as you can as feeling alone with the whole thing can make it seem so much worse x

 

[pcsoph2890]

Thanks ladies, my latch is good by all accounts, she just has a tiny mouth which doesn't take much in, so I have to manually "shove" more in.
I am worried that by giving ff it has a negative effect on my bm supply I.e my body not working out it needs more. Also with ff she has poo' d only once during the last 24hrs (it was an almighty explosive one which was everywhere - . But all the same worried I'm "bunging her up")
I'm taking fenugreek today hoping that helps with production.

It's 2:30am and trying to breast feed her, to kick start my production and hopefully get her to sleep (not that she likes her Moses basket - but that's a whole different story!!) Hoping that she'll feel full afterwards and not need or cry for more afterwards!!!

 

[Calif]

My baby had a good latch according to lactation consultants but it hurt so much when he was little so I used nipple shields and do not regret one bit. Kept me from quitting

 

[halullat]

Coconut water is supposed to be really good for your breast milk supply too, I love the stuff so that was a bonus! Although I have no idea if it actually works but I'm persevering because it is supposed to be very good for you regardless.

And my LO sometimes stores up his poo for an enormous explosive one and he's been doing that whilst just being breast fed x

 

[pcsoph2890]

're the poo it's been 32 hrs since she last had one.... gonna give it til pm then call the hv. She has plenty of wet nappies. I just want her to poo, it must be stored ready for an almighty explosive one and its bound to happen when we are getting her birth certificate done!!!!

Last night 're bf was terrible, she wouldn't settle until 5am, and only then if she was laying next to me not in her basket!!! I had to give her bottle of ff as well as breast... Well been given advice to slowly reduce the ff by floz per day or feed so it means less to her hopefully a d supply should increase too!!!!
Blimey never considered this whole bf malarkey would be so complicated!!!

 

[pcsoph2890]

Urgh think my body is giving up the fight with bf now.....
Gave what I thought her a good feed this morning she delatched herself with the usual good satisfied look on her face.
But then 1/2 hrs later she was screaming for food, and I had to give her a ff bottle as my nipples were begining to hurt again.
I gave it a few hrs for my body to calm down and just tried again and it was toe curlingly painful. My nipples are again beginning to crack and scab over dispite using bm and lanisolh cream liberally.
Now just tried to express and not got even 1floz from both boobs after 20 mins on each breast.

My latch is obviously not right to be causing this pain, but I've been told that the latch is good??
I'm going to a bf support group tmrw again, and I'll call the breast support worker too as I really want to do it and for it to be enjoyable but it's not and it hurts me too much for me to grin and bear through it.
If after seeing these people I cannot get it right then I think I will just have to give the ghost up - be thankful I got to nearly one month of bf 50% of the time.
Gutted, but I need to make a decision one way or another and just go with that decision as I'm putting the decision off. Whether I'll be able to occasionally bf but if I start introducing ff then my supply will dry up.

I said all along I wanted to give it a good go, and if it didn't work then at least I know I gave it a good try....
Just can't see a way of getting any better as I get better nipples then they go back to Being cracked and hurting again!

 

[Jayneypops]

Ahh im so sorry to hear youre suffering. I too am finding bf hard both emotionally and physically. Today I think my lo has hit the 3 week growth spurt early! Yday was wonderful. She slept 3 hours between feeds and took a good feed each time. Today she would happily stay on my nipple all day. She has started doing a tugging thing too which is uncomfortable
I have considered ff but I feel like if I switch now all my hard work and suffering over the past 2 weeks will have been for nothing.

Honestly hun do whats right for you. I ff DD1 as I knew it was more important for her to have a sane and happy mum than one stressed and knackered! All babies want at the end of the day is a full tummy, a clean bum, a warm bed and lots of love. Dont let it get you down, youre doing an amazing job by persevering.

 

[pcsoph2890]

One minute I'm "I can carry on and do it" the next minute I'm " right I'll stop and ff as I hurt that much"..... I'm in all honestly so confused about it all and really do not know what to do for the best.
I just don't know what can be done to prevent me from getting sore. I'll get my latch 're looked at again to make sure I'm doing it right.... Then I'll make a decision. I'll carry on until a month in(one more week) and see how I go......

 

[Rachel_C]

You could try a little teething gel on your nipples a few minutes before offering a feed. It might numb them a bit and it's safe for baby to ingest, although do make sure to wipe any excess off before feeding LO as you don't want her having a numb mouth, that won't help anything!

It does sound like the three week growth spurt, but have you tried winding LO really well after a feed and half way through too if she's taking both boobs? My youngest was terribly windy and would scream and root for the boob straight after unlatching, but it was actually wind making her hurt so she went for the boob to help her feel better. Religiously giving Infacol helped a lot, as well as LOTS of winding, using every technique going! If somebody is around to help do this it might help as she won't smell milk on them and it will give you time to go and scoff a bar of chocolate or something.

If you're unlatching her, be very careful how you do it - I actually found that it damaged my nipples more to unlatch LO because she would desperately fight against it no matter what I tried. In my LO's case, her latch was pretty shallow so I found that instead of unlatching her it was better to kind of smush her face into my boob a bit to encourage her to take the nipple further into her mouth (obviously I was careful not to suffocate her ).

I would definitely stop giving bottles - they're so much easier for LO to get milk from so she'll probably take it even if she's not hungry, and if she's feeding to soothe pain from wind it'll make it worse. If you want to give top ups, try a cup or syringe first. They won't trick her into taking milk she doesn't need and it won't cause problems with latching like bottles can. I personally wouldn't express milk at the moment unless you are sure your supply is suffering (don't confuse this with the normal way LO will feed a lot during growth spurts), as it may be doing further damage to your nipples. I would try reducing or cutting out top ups completely and only express to boost supply if LO's output goes down (possibly indicating that you need to increase your supply).

 

[pcsoph2890]

're the bottles as I get so sore I physically cannot bf her, it is toe curlingly painful so I cannot get rid of them until I sort out the issue with latching.

Unlatching her I do with using my finger to release the suction. Sometimes when the nipples.come.out they are flattened and squashed - should this happen?

're.expressing I am worried out my supply and want to make sure that when I can't do it then at least my body is tricked into thinking it is still needed and produces milk for her, but then again she feeds.for about 30-40.mins per boob and unmatched herself so I would think she has enough to satisfy her????

Oh God this is just way harder than I had ever throughout it'd be, just really want it to be easier and no pain, but just don't know if that'll ever happen.

 

[AL1986]

Those first few weeks were the hardest for me too...I had a huge crack on each nipple right along the base... each time LO latched on it was excruciatingly painful. Can completely understand what you're going through. What I found helped was changing position from cross cradle to rugby hold, definitely took the edge off. Roughly 5/6 weeks was when the pain just went away...I don't whether it's because my nipples toughened up or LO mouth just got bigger. My LO is now 12 weeks and still bf. Its still hard at times but so much better than before and pain free.

Honestly it will get better for you too, even though you can't imagine it right now. It doesn't help with all those pesky hormones flying around. I remember having a few weepy days thinking how on earth am I going to manage this.

Whatever you decide to do though all that matters is that little baby is fed and loved.

You're doing brilliantly and well done on getting this far.

 

[pcsoph2890]

I do the rugby hold already..... find it an easier position to literally shove more nipple in her mouth.....
I have to count to 10 and if the edge hasn't gone off by then then I de latch her and start again..... sometimes I can try a few times and if it hurts too much I give up I'd rather give her a bottle and try again in a couple of hours than risk being too "damaged" again and physically not be able to bf her for a few days!!

 

[Jayneypops]

If your nipples are coming out flat then the latch isnt right. Your nipples should come out the same just a bit longer (from being sucked).
This was how mine were coming out, flat, sometimes white edges, sometimes a bit like a lipstick shape, and it was because my LO didnt have enough areola in her mouth. Once we got rhat right my nipples suddenly stoppes hurting. Even qhwn they are cracked and sore, if your latch is right you wont feel pain when feeding honestly. In fact, when my nipples were at their worst, if I got the right latch they came out looking better than they went in. My bf support workee said its because theres no longer any damage being done and the milk is healing