Just feeling sorry for myself.

[Kate&Lucas]

I really love being a single parent, I do, but sometimes it's so fucking hard.

Anyone else find that sometimes people don't quite realise how different it is to doing it with FOB there? Not having that support, day in, day out.
I've been doing this alone since Lucas was four weeks old. Lucas loves his Dad and gets so upset when he drops him off - he doesn't know why we're not together?? I'm just the nasty Mummy who sends Dad away every week. I've even contemplated asking FOB if he'd get back together - despite him being in a long-term relationship with one of the lasses he cheated on me with. Even if he did come back it'd make me so unhappy, but it'd make Lucas so happy

I just feel like my parenting is so judged by people who don't realise/care that I'm doing the best I can with the situation I've been handed. Friends who have no experience of being a single parent expecting me to be able to do things they can - drop everything and go out for the night, get drunk and leave OH to look after baby. I can't do it. I can't even get a shower atm because Lucas is poorly and clingy and screams when I leave the room

Hope all you lovely ladies are okay. I haven't been on this board for ages, sorry for coming in on such a downer.

 

[peapod11]

Goodness I have all this to look forward to, my FOB wants nothing to do with my baby and his parents are sticking by him, my mum lives so far away so although I have the support via phone calls I can't drop baby round their if I need a break! It makes me think when am I ever going to get a break for myself! My baby will prob be clingy to me because for most of the first year before going back to work I will have it and no1 else! I guess I shouldn't dwell too much until I come to it.

U wouldn't get back with your FOB if he makes you unhappy your little one will puck up in these vibes and tension! Although he gets upset when his dad drops him off he has two parents that adore him and are happy! Do what makes you happy also! Xxxxx

 

[Mammy2Joojx]

i've been a single parent for nearly 3 years & i agree its hard but dont even think about getting back with your ex ladyy like PP said, lucas will pick up that you're unhappy & i'm sure he would rather cry for a few minutes after his dads left than see his mammmy upset & you & FOB arguing bbig hugs xx

 

[Dezireey]

My best mate made me feel a bit better today when she reminded me about her early childhood. Her Mum positively hated her Dad through her formative years because he a) left her Mum when she was pregnant b) only returned after the woman he left her for, left him c) he was rude, a layabout, wouldn't get a job and d) hardly ever paid attention to his daughter (my best mate). Their relationship was just row after row after row and my friend was always in the middle of it. She was so relieved when her Mum finally left her Dad and she also doesn't care two hoots if she never sees him again because as she grew older she realised what a tosser he was.

Soooo....most of us are probably better off anyway without some of these FOB's, even though it's difficult on your own, what's the point of having FOB in your life if he doesn't help out anyway? Twice the stress if you ask me

I think what we might yearn for is not necessarily our actual FOB's but why oh why did the father of our child have to turn out in the end to be such a knob head?.

Can't we just have a gorgeous Brad Pitt sexy lookalike please with loads of cash and the kindest heart and who likes changing nappies and walking around with our babies in a pappoose thing on his back now that's what we want!!

 

[teal]

Definitely get that feeling like your friends don't understand. My friends really don't get it at all. Sometimes I feel like I'm losing friends because I can't remember the last time I went on a night out. I love being a mum but it is hard as a single mum

I don't have any contact with fob but I'm sure your little one would notice if you weren't happy if you did get back with your ex

Hope you're ok xx

 

[Kate&Lucas]

Thanks for the replies girlies it means a lot

 

[Laura2919]

You can't get back with someone because of your son, that wouldn't make your son happy, not in the long run.
It's upsetting sometimes but your reasons for splitting aren't just nothing. You need to stop being hard on yourself and enjoy Lucas, he is only young he wouldn't understand but when he is old enough he will know you did the right thing.