Just got a BFP and I'm scared!

[FlyingMonkey]

I guess I expected to be excited but I'm really scared. My reaction upset my BF because he really wants this baby. I don't know how to get over my fears about the financial, social and job-related consequences of getting pregnant without being married. He wants to marry me but I don't want to get married just because we're pregnant. Am hoping that someone can relate and tell me that it passes. I really want to be excited!

 

[Livsmom]

I was ttc and when I did, I freaked out! I was so worked up that I cried and kept asking myself what have you done?? I finally calmed down and am very excited now. Try not to stress about things you cannot change as being pregnant is stressful enough! Good luck and congrats on your BFP!!

 

[Peggy O]

I had a 5 day (I am not kidding) panic attack. Shaking, crying...terrified. I was TTC for two and 1/2 years! It was still terrifying. Yes, it does pass. Wait till you see an ultrasound....you'll forget about everything else. It's awesome (and everything really will be OK) Hang in there

 

[FlyingMonkey]

Thanks. I'm having moments of being excited but then I think about how strange I feel already and I'm just not sure I can handle this.

 

[Livsmom]

Oh you can handle it! Mostly because you have to!! I have been soooo sick and looking at itty bitty clothes helps me feel better. I also have a 21 month old daughter that wraps her arms around my neck, puckers her little lips for a kiss and says I love you without prompting! I just imagine having two of these little miracles and how amazingly lucky I am to be able to have them. Only a child will look at you and think you are the smartest, prettiest, bestest woman in the entire world! Honestly, sometimes kids suck, but mostly they are amazing.

 

[mjvdec01]

I get how you feel. I'm 36, we already have two kids and I wasn't planning on having any more kids. I cried for days and completely freaked. I was supposed to have a tummy tuck and breast enhancement surgery in October. That's not going to happen! It took me quite awhile to accept this pregnancy and start to enjoy it. What you're feeling is perfectly normal. I also wanted to address what you said about getting married before the baby's born. If you are in love, it doesn't matter when you get married, it would never be JUST because you were pregnant. You would be getting married because you love eachother and want to take that next step. There is nothing wrong with getting married while pregnant. Okay, that's my two cents. Hope this helps.

 

[Peggy O]

Oh yeah, don't worry at all about being married or not. We are not married yet, we had planned on doing it this summer, then our house took longer to go through than expected (We want the wedding at the new place), a week after that I found out I was pregnant and wedding plans have been the least of my concerns since. I figure we'll get married next summer, and the baby can come!

 

[_Vicky_]

Awaaaww I was terrified too ingot pregnant in the first month of trying and was 36 so expected it to take a while. I had just come to terms with being pregnant and I had the scan and they told me it was twins!!!! But I tell you what I wouldn't change it for the world - it's beyond amazing and I finally 'get' what the point of life is - to raise a family (gawd my 20 something self would have hated me now heheheh)

 

[karolynca]

I am 39 and just got my BFP, it's our second child, I am married and yet here I sit, terrified, anxious and just panicking. I think it's a common feeling in some of us at first, for me it's really shocking as when I got pregnant of my daughter after 7 years fighting infertility I felt exactly the same, I though with our 2nd. that feeling was going to go away but truth is that I feel even more anxious. I tell you...it passes and excitement will set in when you see the heartbeat or the first ultrasound. You can do this...hang in there.

In terms of your BF, don't assume he wants to get married because you are preggers, wait until you feel comfortable with the marriage decision but give him the benefit of the doubt...

A big hug...and hang in there...we are all here for you.