just got the sad news - am confused what to do

[londongirl19]

Hi, I found out yesterday when I went for my scan at 11 weeks that I have miscarried. there was no heartbeat and the scan showed no growth since 8 weeks according to the sonographer. There was no hearbeat. I am still in disbelief as I have felt no symtpons and still dont. My breasts are still tender and I feel fine. I've been booked in for this friday for the procedure and am now confused as to whether i should do it. I dont want to wait for it to pass naturally as this is the second time this has happened (the first was 4 years ago, and I have not conceieved since) and I would like them to do their tests. Do you think i should wait or maybe go for another scan before friday? I dont know what to think anymore....

 

[rachjim98]

So sorry you are going through this again. First of all you need to take sometime to accept this has happened. If going for another scan is what you feel you need then do that. for you. Am here if you need to talk or rant or anything you feel you need to do. Will help anyway I can as well as all the other wonderful people in this section,

 

[who's_mummy]

, sorry to hear about your loss

Gemma x

 

[rachjim98]

I know when we heard those unforgettable words, (THERE IS NO HEARTBEAT) I felt every crack that went down my heart as it broke. It is shocking to think everything is wonderful and to be so excited to go in a see your baby growing an wiggling around on the screen to be totally devastated minutes later. When there was no sign of any trouble.
Your not alone in your pain and confusion, and I just wanted you to know that.
I might not be there beside you but I am only a click away. Thinking of you xoxox

 

[dan-o]

Oh hunni I am so sorry
I'm going through a very similar type of MC, although I went for a scan every week from 7 so knew by 10 weeks she had gone. I had another scan a week after, just to double check. I never had any signs anything was wrong either, it made it very hard to get my head around. My symptoms remained strong until I went for a D&C at 12 weeks. I'm still recovering from that, but I had a rare complication from the op.
If you want to talk or just rant, we are all here for you xxx
Again I am so sorry.

 

[Tattybear]

I know exactly how you feel as i had the same news last Friday.
I keep re playing those horrible words over in my head but i am finding as time is going by that i am starting to get back to my normal self.I went for the medicinal management option & have to say it is totally heartbreaking waiting for your baby to leave your body. I'm booked for scan tomorrow and hope to god everything has now gone so i can move on and start trying again.
Things will get easier over time . Ever want to chat i'm here ( although i'm sure like me you've heard it a million times already )

 

[londongirl19]

thank you girls. Your words are really comforting. Have spent today not feeling like doing anything at all, until my OH made me go to the shops to distract myself. This is totally rubbish, and i really dont want to to go hospital on Friday, but I dont think I can cope with waiting for it to expel itself etc. Am beginning to feel a little crampy today - I guess i felt that yesterday but didnt realise they were cramps. But other than that i feel ok. It really isnt fair is it? Once is bad enough (the first time was so devastating that this time we were both extra careful not to get too excited) but two is just not on.

Anyway, thanks for your support, am sure will be relying on it once friday comes and goes.... xx

 

[Csunshine013]

Very sorry for your loss. I too felt the very same way Mar. 3. I had to wait and go in on the 8th and nothing happened until the morning of the 9th. I did get another scan done on the 4th to verify those very horrible words. It's been a tough road but know you are not alone as I have found with these wonderful people on this site.

If you need to yell like I did we are willing to listen! This is something everyone goes through differently. It does get better as OH and I started ttc again last night. Don't know if it will work but guess we can only hope. My best to you and OH as you will need each other the next couple of weeks.
Vic

 

[Widger]

Really sorry for your loss. I had a similar experience in January and couldn't quite believe there was no heartbeat as I well and truly felt pregnant and had no bleeding. Unfortunatley I had scan next day and it confirmed the scan that I had the night before. It is really hard to accept I know. Hope you are ok and if you go through with it in Friday all goes well x

 

[Aidedhoney]

Really sorry for your loss, Its a horrible thing to hear, what sticks in my mind was how loud my own heartbeat felt/sounded, when they uttered those terrible words.
Stay strong and thinking of you for friday xxxxx

 

[Peach Blossom]

So sorry for your loss. This happened to me 4 weeks ago. It was such a shock. I went in for the erpc the same day as any waiting seemed unbearable. I had private health insurance which made it easier to get in on the same day. If you want another scan then go for one hon. Only you know if you can cope with that. My thoughts and prayers are with you at this tough time.

 

[Chilli]

I can't tell you how sorry I am that you have had to go through this a second time - once is more than enough for any of us! I hope you can think clearly enough to know what you want to do and my thoughts are with you.

 

[Baby-Cakes]

Hi Hun,

Sorry your having to go through this, exactly same as me. Had my 12 wk scan on 11th march had slight spotting the night before but didn't think anything of it but when I had the scan baby had stopped growing @ 8wks + 2, I also had a 'natural' mc 3 years ago and it was awful so I had an ERPC on Friday 13th. It's a horrible thing to deal with, our bodies are so cruel still letting us carry on like we are pregnant, big boobs, tummy growing, cravings etc.

If you ever need to chat or rant I'm here (we all are)

 

[Shelby2007]

Im with rach on the your baby has no heartbeat.. that is the MOST AWFUL thing anyone has ever told me.. I didnt know what to think.. do.. say.. and my poor dh didnt know what to do either.. i could tell something was wrong.. because my babies werent moving..

i would think if you want another scan.. demand another scan.. and you certainly should ask if they can do the tests.. im so sorry you are having to go through this.. once is MORE than enough.. to you sweetie.

 

[londongirl19]

hi,
i spoke to the EPU today to ask whether they will conduct the tests given this is my second mc, and the fact that i was high risk, older, etc etc, and the nurse said that they only do it after 3 mcs, upon which i burst into tears and said i cant go through this a third time before anything is tested! did not expect to cry so suddenly, but there u go! anyway, she told me that i should talk to the doctor when i got there tomorrow and explain everything and that it should be ok. Will probably cry tomorrow anyway so that might do the job. I just find it ridiculous that they have such stupid rules here (3 mcs!) - i bet it was a man who came up with that one!
One thing I will do after this is over is go see a specialist. I have a friend who recommended her doctor, but if any of you know someone in London who specialises in miscarriages, and infertility issues, can u let me know please? I'm obviously not infertile, but it has taken so long to get pregnant both times. I'd really appreciate your advice. Thank you all so much for your lovely words. ACtually it really has helped. xxxxxx