Just had a D&C yesterday..

[SuperKat]

So I am new here. I have 3 kids, and found out on Oct. 11th that we were going to be expecting #4. I went for an u/s on Tuesday and they were unable to find a heartbeat. I went to another doctor and they ran more u/s's on thursday and still were unable to detect any cardiac activity. They said the baby was measuring 9 weeks and had passed away (I was on my 11th week).
They got me in for a D&C yesterday.

I am feeling better now than I was before (emotionally). I had no indication of a m/c (no cramps, no bleeding..nothing, only a gut feeling that something was wrong).

I don't understand why it happened, I know that I never will.

I have some questions for those of you that have gone through this before (this is the first m/c I've ever had). How long does the pain last from a D&C? I had it done yesterday afternoon and have been feeling crampy and in pain since. They gave me pain medication to take, which is making me insanely groggy and doing little for the pain (it is helping me to sleep, which is good because obviously if I am sleeping i am not noticing the pain).

The other question I have is how long do I HAVE to wait to start TTC again? I have read 3 months, and 6 months...I guess I just want to get preggo again as soon as possible, somehow it seems like it could feel like this never happened if i did get preggo right away...does that sound horrible???

 

[My Peanut]

First let me say I'm sorry for your loss. I had a D&C in sept I was 12 weeks. My pain from the d&c only lasted a few days. Most doctors want you to wait for your first period. I went to the drs in Oct and she said we could try again even though I didn't have my period yet. I really haven't had it yet either. I just had some brown and then red but only when I wiped. So I don't take that as my first period after my d&c. If it doesn't come next week I might call my dr. My cycle's aren't normal either so that could be why I haven't had it yet. By the way you don't sound horrible I think all of us want to get pregnant right away. Hope this helped alittle.

 

[SuperKat]

Thank you, I appreciate your response!

That seems to be what I am reading everywhere (that you need to wait until at laest your first period). My hubby wants to wait longer though...it appears he read somewhere online that trying too soon can result in another one.

This whole thing sucks, it is such a roller coaster. One minute I feel okay, the next minute I am sad, I am just ready for this nightmare to be over. All the reminders that I am not having a baby anymore kills me...it sucks

 

[glaciergirl]

Hi SuperKat - so sorry to hear about what happened to you. I also had a mmc, and I had my D&C on wednesday. Although the bleeding has completely stopped I have the worst stomach pains and cramps I have ever experienced. I am taking Ibuprofen every few hours to reduce the pain. I did go and see my GP on friday and she recommended waiting for the first period to pass before TTC. The LMP dates are really important (esp if your u/s like mine showed the baby smaller that it should be - at least you can be certain of the dates). Also it depends whether you and your partner are emotionally ready - my OH definitiely is not and he is still grieving for our first baby we have lost. Hope you feel better x

 

[SuperKat]

Thank you for your response! I am feeling better today so far and am hoping it stays this way, I haven't had to take anything for pain since 8am this morning. I am not so sure my hubby is going to be ready to start trying right away either. This pregnancy was a surprise for us both, but we agreed after losing it that we wanted to try, he said he wants to start trying next Spring, I think I will go crazy waiting that long though...ugh.

 

[My Peanut]

just give it some time he might change his mind. You both need time to greive. *hugs*

 

[SuperKat]

Thank you, that's what I'm thinking (and hoping) too! It still just feels so surreal! Like, I keep asking myself,
'did that really just happen?? was I even really pregnant?!'
It seems like it just came and went so quickly...too quickly =(

 

[grandbleu]

So sorry for your loss

I don't know about a DandC since I didn't have one.

About TTC - I was told to wait conservatively 3 months (3 cycles basically). However my OBGYN said after 1 cycle I could try if I really wanted to but to avoid between the miscarriage and the first cycle. HTH

 

[SuperKat]

Thank you for your response! I'm so sorry that anyone has to go through this. I have always felt empathy for those that had gone through this, but never truely understood the pain until now, my heart aches for those of you that have experienced this multiple times. =(

I am not sure when I will get my first AF, not sure how this all works...once the bleeding from the D&C passes, then I start cycle day 1? When does my cycle start? I am assuming there will be a break between the bleeding from the m/c to AF? They won't run together making it impossible for me to distinguish between the two?

I think we will probably wait until at least Feb to start, at the soonest (which I just realized is 3 months). I think we both need a little more time to heal..I haven't gone a day without crying since Tuesday, I just can't stop thinking about it, and when I go to sleep, i dream about it...

Right now I am researching a memorial tattoo...I want to get something for this baby, I have a tattoo for all of my kids (a butterfly for my daughter, and 2 dragonflies for my sons, on my calf surrounded by stars...I think I am getting a shooting star at the top and fill in more stars in the background symbolizing the idea that this baby is up above watching over my others..)

 

[grandbleu]

I counted CD1 from the day I started my M/C and that worked well for me - I got my cycle back pretty fast. I don't know what is proper but I would count CD1 the day of your D&C. Good luck designing a tattoo for your angel.

 

[SuperKat]

That is a huge help!! Thank you so much for that!!!

 

[Fooled_Heart]

Hi Hun,
Sorry for your loss. I had a MMC at 16 wks (baby HB stopped at 7wks 3 dys) so I can answer a few of your questions.
CD1 starts from day of D&C
There will be a break between bleeding from D&C and AF (it is possible to Ov 2 weeks after D&C and AF normally comes 14 days after D&C). My 1st AF took 49 days to turn up and looks like second is 50 days
You can TTC after getting your first cycle (new studies have shown women who get preg within 6 months of MC are less likely to MC again)
Don't worry crying alot is normal - I still cry often and its been over 3 months. Just take things day by day xx

 

[SuperKat]

Thank you so much for your response! The info about the new study gives me hope!!!
I just have that guilt thing going on right now...somewhere in my brain I am still stuck in pregnancy mode...so when I have a cup of coffee, on some level I feel like I am hurting my baby...>< How long does this take to go away???

 

[Fooled_Heart]

That's okay hun, glad I could help (here's the article: https://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1300741/Dont-delay-try-miscarriage-women-warned.html)
It took me a few weeks to stop thinking how I did when I was preg - its alot for you to get over emotionally and physically. If you've got any questions feel free to ask and I'll do my best to answer xx

 

[SuperKat]

Thank you so much!! I am going to read that article to the hubby!! (He read something online right before the D&C that made him nervous about future m/c's, so having this info will be helpful!! thank you!!!

 

[nicb26]

honey im sorry. ive just mcd my first baby and had d and c monday. i know what u mean about it not feeling real, the grief coming and going, and wanting to ttc right away.
all i can suggest 4 u is enjoy your children and ttc when you both feel right about it. i love the idea of a memorial tatoo- im not into them but really think its a lovely idea and may look into it myself!
all the luck in the world for a sticky bfp xx

 

[SuperKat]

Thank you!! Yea, I am trying to decide exactly what to get...my first thought was a heart with wings and a halo...but then I think I want something a little different....I have to think on it a bit!
I am so sorry for your loss =( My sister had 2 m/c's for her first 2 pregnancies (she ended up disccovering that her body didn't produce enough progesterone, so after finding that out she had three healthy babies). I can't imagine what you are going through with it being a first pregnancy- I know that changes things a bit . that is good advice too, I find that I am more at peace when I focus my energies on them rather then dwelling on my feelings!