- Joined
- Nov 9, 2008
- Messages
- 10,104
- Reaction score
- 140
i got my 
at 11 dpo, and today at 20 dpo, i started to bleed. i took many pg tests during this time, 3 of them digital. all plainly positive. well, when i got to the hospital this morning they took blood, and did an internal scan. of course the baby would have been to small to see even if it were healthy. but of course they couldn't see anything, i had already passed several large clots. my levels when they came back were only 6. my doctor told me that right now i could not 'prove' that i was pregnant. his exact words!! i didn't realize i had to 'prove' anything!!! i know i was pregnant, DH knows i was pregnant. as does my sister all of whom watched me pee on multiple sticks that turned into 
i'm so angry 
why did he treat me that way. he wouldn't even acknowledge the fact that i had just lost a child. treated me like i was crazy or lying or something. i feel like i need revenge. like there could be someone i could call and complain. i just don't understand how treating me that way would benefit him. the asshole.
at 11 dpo, and today at 20 dpo, i started to bleed. i took many pg tests during this time, 3 of them digital. all plainly positive. well, when i got to the hospital this morning they took blood, and did an internal scan. of course the baby would have been to small to see even if it were healthy. but of course they couldn't see anything, i had already passed several large clots. my levels when they came back were only 6. my doctor told me that right now i could not 'prove' that i was pregnant. his exact words!! i didn't realize i had to 'prove' anything!!! i know i was pregnant, DH knows i was pregnant. as does my sister all of whom watched me pee on multiple sticks that turned into i'm so angry why did he treat me that way. he wouldn't even acknowledge the fact that i had just lost a child. treated me like i was crazy or lying or something. i feel like i need revenge. like there could be someone i could call and complain. i just don't understand how treating me that way would benefit him. the asshole.
i feel at peace, and i know my baby is at peace, with god, and i will see her one day. i also realize that chances are, something was wrong with the baby, which is why my baby rejected her and that losing her was probably due to that. even though i would have loved her no matter what, i do think that it would be very hard to watch someone that you love as much as you love a child go through life with a disability. i don't know if it's OK to feel better so soon after a loss, and i don't know if there is some grief there waiting to hit me later (even though i cried so much yesterday that i'm not sure i have any tears left at all) but i am going to go with it, move on, and start trying to have a baby again as soon as i can. my doctor said 2 months. i loved this baby already in the short time she was growing inside of me, and i will never forget her. i don't know what i would do with out all of you guys here to support me. thank you all. and i am sorry to the bottom of my heart for all of your losses. may god be with you all, and your angel babies.
