Just looking for advice/support.

Discussion in 'Miscarriage Support' started by Midnight_Fairy, Dec 18, 2009.

  1. Midnight_Fairy

    Midnight_Fairy New baby J

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  2. Aidan's Mummy

    Aidan's Mummy Mummy to Aidan and Oliver

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    No advice hunni

    but :hugs:
    xx
     
  3. Midnight_Fairy

    Midnight_Fairy New baby J

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    Thank you. I have been reading threads and it helps to know the way I am feeling isnt abnormal. I just hope I can get through xmas and still make it happy for my kids. What crappy timing eh. :(

    I just dont know what to do :(
     
  4. Aidan's Mummy

    Aidan's Mummy Mummy to Aidan and Oliver

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    Maybe light a candel or let a ballon go something you can do so you feel like you have said goodbye

    I have never been through this hun and I truly can neveer imagine how much it must hurt
    xx
     
  5. Midnight_Fairy

    Midnight_Fairy New baby J

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    Thank you for your advice xx
     
  6. smidgen

    smidgen Mummy 2 Finlay & 4 angels

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    the girls on here are fab - don't know what I would have done without them and their support during this very diff time. there is always someone willing to lend an ear or a bit of advice. feel free to pm me if you want a chat xx
     
  7. debgreasby

    debgreasby Happy Mummy!

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    It's really hard, especially being Christmas.

    I've got 4 other kids (13, 9, 5 and 16 months). The eldest 2 know exactly what's going on and are finding it hard.

    I just want to to shut myself away and deal with my grief, but i can't, it's not fair on them. So, i put on my fake smile and say "I'm fine" when anyone asks.

    It sucks.

    Hugs to you xxx
     
  8. Tulip

    Tulip Ruby <i>, Dils, Rowan

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    Hi sweetie. So sorry to hear that you are suffering. There are a few of us who have lost only this week and it is raw. It's completely normal to feel lost and angry, especially at Xmas time.

    Don't feel daft for having told people - you already have wonderful children and naturally would have assumed that this one would be OK too. Think of it that they were able to celebrate the life of your baby with you, short as it was.

    I agree with doing something to say goodbye. Have just lit a massive candle for Rubes and put her scan pic by it (now I can look at it without blubbing) and it's really comforting. Get Katie (Drazic) to add your angel to the balloons on Xmas Eve.... it'll really help, I'm sure.

    xx
     
  9. Mum2bewaiting

    Mum2bewaiting Mummy to DS & an angel

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    :hugs: I too didn't think that it would happen to me, I guess u never do, silly me thought I knew too many people who had mc'ed. Use the people who know for support, and u are completely allowed to feel however u feel. These ladies really helped me :flower:
     
  10. Midnight_Fairy

    Midnight_Fairy New baby J

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    Thank you everyone the support means alot :( x
     
  11. veganmum2be

    veganmum2be 1 Son two angels.

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    thinking of you. :hugs:
    i only found out i'd lost my baby last week, and although its only been a week, i'm starting to feel better, i'm still heartbroken and very upset, but i'm alot better than i was.
    i've been told by many, that you'll heal with time, but you'll never forget.
    :hugs:
     
  12. Lexy7200

    Lexy7200 Well-Known Member

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    Big :hugs: it does get better hun honestly, the hard part is telling people but once its done its a relief. Hope things are ok for you take it day by day. We are all here to help you through it xx
     
  13. SmileyShazza

    SmileyShazza I'm a mum!

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    Emzy it is very difficult at first, you have so many different feelings and emotions running round your head. Unfortunately we've all beeen there and understand what you are going through at the moment :hugs:

    It has been three weeks since we found out our baby had stopped growing and even though it still hurts so much to think about what could have been we are able to see a light at the end of the tunnel now and it is getting a little easier each day.

    The ladies on here have been an amazing support to me, nobody judges the way you feel and you can get everything off your chest if it helps. We had told a few people and as much as I felt stupid for doing it because we assumed that as we had got to the 12 week stage that we were almost through the most risky part I was actually glad that people knew what we were going through as it did really help.

    Sending you and your family a :hugs:
     
  14. Midnight_Fairy

    Midnight_Fairy New baby J

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    Thank you everyone. I dont really feel like a big post on how I feel at the moment, I still feel kind of numb? I dont even know what to say to my OH right now, I know men and women probably deal with it in different ways but it just feels weird. :( But knowning you are all here for support means so much and so thank you to everyone of you xx
     
  15. Tulip

    Tulip Ruby <i>, Dils, Rowan

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    In your own time mate. We'll listen :hugs:
     
  16. shocker

    shocker Well-Known Member

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    Hey hun im so sorry for your loss, its especially hard at this time of year.I also told everyone as id gone past the 12 week mark so i know thats a particularly stressful part. Always here if you want a chat or need anything hun :hugs: xx
     
  17. BeanieBaby

    BeanieBaby Well-Known Member

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    Hey hun, so sorry for your loss and that you and your OH are going through this difficult time, especially in the run up to Christmas.

    I have a 2yr old and know what it feels like to not know how you're gonna get through this and carry on (I lost our baby 3 wks ago) as the last thing you want to be doing sometimes is putting on a brave face for the kids when all you want to do is curl up and cry. I longed to be 'signed off' and be given the time I needed to greive and recover in my own time at the beginning but since then i've become grateful for the fact i've just had to 'get on with things' as this is my job also as i'm a stay at home mum. The eves are a different story of course, once my 2yr old's in bed i'm straight on here as guess that's when I have more time to think and run the risk of getting upset again. Don't rush your feelings and how you feel, its still early days and of course we're all here if you need to get things off your chest.

    Re xmas I didn't feel festive at all last wk but then my sis made me put up a tree at the weekend and since then i've had a bit more PMA and have thown myself into the xmas prep. Its given me a welcome distraction and I can now see why it is a blessing that I mc in Dec and not in Jan as Jan is such a bleak and depressing month as it is and i'm not sure how I would have picked myself up so quickly.

    I really wish you a speedy recovery and I hope that you start to feel better soon.

    Sending you huge :hugs:

    xxx
     
  18. hannah76

    hannah76 Well-Known Member

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    big :hugs: hon... it does get better slowly... just know that its ok if it takes you a bit longer than expected and also if you start to feel better soon too... being happy about other things doesn't mean that the loss was any less important or that you are disrespecting your lost baby. i've found that i've had good days, followed by bad days, or even feeling up and down throughout the day...

    take care x x x
     
  19. Midnight_Fairy

    Midnight_Fairy New baby J

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    Thank you everyone. I had a very long and sleepless night but maybe I needed to do all that crying, rather than hold it back. xx Thanks again all it means alot x
     

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