just need some advice

[Dani&Bump]

I really just dont know what to do anymore. My boyfriend is so selfish its unreal. He's more interested in doing cannabis and i think cocaine with his mates than spending time with me. I just cant put up with it anymore and dont know what to do. I dont want my baby being brought up around that crap. Ive told him now he has to choose but i havent heard from him. I just feel so low and down all the time lately and just want to cry

 

[laurietate25]

Hope everything works out ok for both u and baby xx

 

[mummyconfused]

LOSER.......

My FOB is a loser too..... He would rather drink that spend time with me... He hasnt brought the baby anything (not even a sock)

You so dont need that around your baby hun!!! F%#@ HIM OFF!!!!

Sorry to be harsh, but as you said you dont want your baby around that

 

[Dani&Bump]

Why are they so selfish? i dont understand. Yeah same with him. I have brought everything for our baby. He has bought nothing! not a thing. This baby is the most important thing in my life, nothing else matters, why is it not the same for him? I really dont want to be a single mum.

 

[Cookie1979]

I think you are right, it would be very very bad to bring your baby up in that kind of environment, and if he cant see that you and the baby are more important than drugs, then he's too far gone. I hope he does realise what is important, but if he is going to put drugs before you and your baby, then its only going to cause you continued heartache.

Do whatever is best for you and the baby. Sorry I can't be much help. All the best. x

 

[Dani&Bump]

Thankyou I know leavin him is for the best but it complicates everything. Just wish things could be easy

 

[QueSeraSera]

i have to agree with the rest of the posters and say that your OH is being very selfish. that is not a good environment to bring a baby into, and if he doesnt change things then you will probably have to . i know it must be hard considering leaving and facing motherhood alone, but if it comes to that you will probably find yourself happier in the end. it really seems like, from what youve said, that he has a way of bringing you down, and without him you might find yourself down a lot less often. hope that either he straigtens up or you find another solution! best of luck and lots of hugs!

 

[Dani&Bump]

I know what everyone is saying is right. Well ive given him an ultimatum and i expect he will choose them anyway. Just hurts alot that he doesnt really care about me or this baby. Just means i will have to move back home, and i love my little house but yeah i expect you're right, i probably will be happier in the long run coz all he does is hurt me. I will soon have LO to focus on so that will take my mind of it

 

[Pearls18]

Really sorry hun. I wouldn't allow my baby to be brought up around any kind of drug so don't think you should be with him tbh....he needs to grow the hell up, get away from that crap- for his sake as well as yours and the baby's. Then if he manages that he is mature enough to be in a relationship and a father. But until then I really don't think he's worth it. I know it's easier said than done but your baby should come before him and his habits.

 

[Bexivillian]

Yes your OH is being selfish, but, thats most men for you.

Im having a very simular situation to you and im waiting to see what hes like when the babys here.

My FOB went on a major wheeler not so long ago and i told him to choose, and during this time he said he realised that hes grown up alot and realised his priorities but he felt like he needed to have 'one last hurrah'!

I think if he needed this then no harm done before the babies born. Its men for you *rolls eyes*

I hope your OH snaps out of it and realises whats important.

xxxxxxxx

 

[Dani&Bump]

Yes your OH is being selfish, but, thats most men for you.

Im having a very simular situation to you and im waiting to see what hes like when the babys here.

My FOB went on a major wheeler not so long ago and i told him to choose, and during this time he said he realised that hes grown up alot and realised his priorities but he felt like he needed to have 'one last hurrah'!

I think if he needed this then no harm done before the babies born. Its men for you *rolls eyes*

I hope your OH snaps out of it and realises whats important.

xxxxxxxx

I was going to wait to see if he would change once the baby is here, but i need him now and cant put up with another 5 weeks of it. Thats given me a bit of hope though if you OH has realised his priorities. I suppose i can understand the 'one last hurrah', coz its a massive responsibility. Me and my OH are still young (im 18 and he's 21) so its probably a shock for him. I dont know. Feel like im always makin excuses for him, when really there is no excuse. xxx

 

[stardust599]

No advice, just wanted to wish you luck, do what is best for you hun. My OH is the same -he'd rather hang out with losers who fight and take drugs at weekends than spend time in. We had a huge row about it and on Sat night he went out and came straight home because his friends were all really drunk and looking for trouble so maybe i got something through his skull lol xxx

 

[Bexivillian]

God i know the feeling of not being able to wait for him to grow up, it took him pretty much my whole pregnancy. And i sat on my sofa and ate alot during that time

We are 22/24 and tbh if i had a chance to have one last hurrah i would!! Men also dont really become fathers until the baby is born, he could take one look at your LO and completely change, or he could realise it before hand. Then again there is no guarentee both our OHs dont turn out to be complete losers after the birth, but in my eyes its worth hanging on to find out. I want a family for my baby and hopefully it will work out.

Also you can make him pay for being so selfish afterwards

xxx

 

[Dani&Bump]

Thankyou stardust599, i hope you have got through to him, coz its horrible. Good luck with everything xx

God i know the feeling of not being able to wait for him to grow up, it took him pretty much my whole pregnancy. And i sat on my sofa and ate alot during that time

We are 22/24 and tbh if i had a chance to have one last hurrah i would!! Men also dont really become fathers until the baby is born, he could take one look at your LO and completely change, or he could realise it before hand. Then again there is no guarentee both our OHs dont turn out to be complete losers after the birth, but in my eyes its worth hanging on to find out. I want a family for my baby and hopefully it will work out.

Also you can make him pay for being so selfish afterwards

xxx

I know, im 34 weeks now and hes still acting like a child. Wouldnt we all.. difference is, women cant. Yeh i agree with that, he hasnt bonded at all, like some men talk to and feel the bump, he doesnt. So im really hoping it will change once LO is here. Yeh, definitely, i was brought up without a dad and i really dont want that for my baby. Just want the three of us to be a family. He can be so lovely at times, just wish it was like that all the time. Haa, yeh i plan too if he bucks up his ideas. Thankyou, you have been a really big help, i feel alot better now about things xxxx

 

[gemabee]

hey hun... i really hope that ur bf comes round nd does grow up nd be there for u both.
but if i was in ur shoes i'd get rid... it so dangerous bringin a tiny little baby into a world where one of parents wants to take drugs more than be a dad.
i know u don't want to bring ur child up without a dad... but that maybe the reality of the situation... there's a lot of woman who have been forced into bein single parents... nd they are doin a bloody good job of it as well.
its better to have an amazin mum than a shitty dad.
so don't hold onto the hope of the 'perfect' family unit... because doin that might be what keeps u from actually havin a perfect little family
all the best hun
xxx

 

[Pearls18]

Yes your OH is being selfish, but, thats most men for you.

This is harsh and very untrue.....don't really want my man being compared to a drug addict :/ it's one thing a man being slightly insensitive to pregnancy and not being able to empathise and another to outright deny their responsibilities (especially in the way the OP's partner has). No woman should be treated in this way, and I don't think most men do!

 

[Dani&Bump]

Yeah your right, i would never allow my baby around drugs, and ive told him that if we do split up then i want to be there when he sees LO or at least his parents have to be with him because i just cant trust someone on that crap. Especially with the most precious and innocent thing in my life. I dont think he would do it around LO but i would rather not risk it. Yeh my mum was a single mum and she did a brilliant job, yeh times were hard but i always knew she loved me and she always provided for us, and ive got amazing family and friends to support me Thanks again xxx

 

[Bexivillian]

Yes your OH is being selfish, but, thats most men for you.

This is harsh and very untrue.....don't really want my man being compared to a drug addict :/ it's one thing a man being slightly insensitive to pregnancy and not being able to empathise and another to outright deny their responsibilities (especially in the way the OP's partner has). No woman should be treated in this way, and I don't think most men do!

Hence the 'most men'. When did i compare your OH to a drug addict?! I simply said that most men can be selfish at times!!

 

[Bexivillian]

God i know the feeling of not being able to wait for him to grow up, it took him pretty much my whole pregnancy. And i sat on my sofa and ate alot during that time

We are 22/24 and tbh if i had a chance to have one last hurrah i would!! Men also dont really become fathers until the baby is born, he could take one look at your LO and completely change, or he could realise it before hand. Then again there is no guarentee both our OHs dont turn out to be complete losers after the birth, but in my eyes its worth hanging on to find out. I want a family for my baby and hopefully it will work out.

Also you can make him pay for being so selfish afterwards

xxx

I know, im 34 weeks now and hes still acting like a child. Wouldnt we all.. difference is, women cant. Yeh i agree with that, he hasnt bonded at all, like some men talk to and feel the bump, he doesnt. So im really hoping it will change once LO is here. Yeh, definitely, i was brought up without a dad and i really dont want that for my baby. Just want the three of us to be a family. He can be so lovely at times, just wish it was like that all the time. Haa, yeh i plan too if he bucks up his ideas. Thankyou, you have been a really big help, i feel alot better now about things xxxx[/QUOTE]

Thats ok hun feel free to PM me if you need to talk at any point. Hope everything works out for you xxx

(i cant get the hold of this quote thing)

 

[Pearls18]

Yes your OH is being selfish, but, thats most men for you.

This is harsh and very untrue.....don't really want my man being compared to a drug addict :/ it's one thing a man being slightly insensitive to pregnancy and not being able to empathise and another to outright deny their responsibilities (especially in the way the OP's partner has). No woman should be treated in this way, and I don't think most men do!

Hence the 'most men'. When did i compare your OH to a drug addict?! I simply said that most men can be selfish at times!!

Lol sorry I didn't mean to sound dramatic, I just mean the OPs man is being a little more than selfish by choosing drugs over his family and I don't think 'most' men can be compared to this. I just mean he shouldn't get away with his actions coz he's a man, and I don't think most men are selfish to this extent...if u get me, but I didn't mean to twist your words. Neways I don't mean to digress from the point at hand, I hope the OP and the father can do what's best by the baby and that things get sorted for them x