Just need to vent!!!!!

[Nat 1976]

I am having one of those days today!!

My best friend (34yrs) who has a gorgeous little boy asked “ME” for advice on whether she should start trying for baby no 2 and then asked me how i chart ovulation and time things etc etc etc!!! Of course I gave her the advice and support she was looking for because that’s what friends are for, right!!! But what I was really thinking was “why ask me” its obviously not bloody worked so far

So today she announces on facebook how “excited she is that she will have another baby this year at some point watch this space”.......

I know I shouldn’t but all I cant think is I hope it’s me before it’s you arrggggghhhh i just know she will fall really quickly and I will still be trying, while pretending how very happy I am for her when all I will want to do is scream “WHEN WILL IT BE MY TURN” and sod off with your prefect little life!!!!

There I feel a tiny bit better now...... till she comes round later to remind me how excited she is....... deep breath.... and keep smiling .....

 

[Claireyb1]

I am having one of those days today!!

My best friend (34yrs) who has a gorgeous little boy asked “ME” for advice on whether she should start trying for baby no 2 and then asked me how i chart ovulation and time things etc etc etc!!! Of course I gave her the advice and support she was looking for because that’s what friends are for, right!!! But what I was really thinking was “why ask me” its obviously not bloody worked so far

So today she announces on facebook how “excited she is that she will have another baby this year at some point watch this space”.......

I know I shouldn’t but all I cant think is I hope it’s me before it’s you arrggggghhhh i just know she will fall really quickly and I will still be trying, while pretending how very happy I am for her when all I will want to do is scream “WHEN WILL IT BE MY TURN” and sod off with your prefect little life!!!!

There I feel a tiny bit better now...... till she comes round later to remind me how excited she is....... deep breath.... and keep smiling .....

Oh bless your heart sweetie,
Does your friend not realise how that would make you feel? obviously not
I totally understand your feelings on this and don't feel bad for having "those" thoughts - very natural for all of us TTC 35+
Keep strong and chin up. Hopefully you will get your BFP before her and you can sit back and relax and enjoy.
How long have you been trying for? and do you do anything different or have you tried anything different to help at all? I see you have been charting.

Good luck and lots of

 

[Nat 1976]

Hi Claire,
My Friend has always been a little bit me me me!! I love her to bits but I sometimes think she doesn’t hear a thing I say to her LOL she knows how hard it’s been over the last 3 years (life in general) but I don’t think she really gets it!!!

I am 35 (just) been trying on and off for about 3 years. Had a miscarriage in 2007 after just 2 months of trying so thought it would be easy enough to get pregnant again... NO it wasn’t!!

I’ve just had a Lap & Dye done to check tubes not blocked etc and I am OK in that department and everything seems to be functioning normally and hubby all ok to.... we are “unexplained infertility” My fertility specialist is going to check my cervix and uterus in a few weeks to make sure they are ok and then booked us in for IUI. I almost wish they found something then at least I would know why it’s not happening!!!

I use a CBFM and I am basically I am POAS addict lol, I think it all just sometimes gets me down.... I never let on to anyone except on this site.

X

 

[Claireyb1]

Hi Claire,
My Friend has always been a little bit me me me!! I love her to bits but I sometimes think she doesn’t hear a thing I say to her LOL she knows how hard it’s been over the last 3 years (life in general) but I don’t think she really gets it!!!

I am 35 (just) been trying on and off for about 3 years. Had a miscarriage in 2007 after just 2 months of trying so thought it would be easy enough to get pregnant again... NO it wasn’t!!

I’ve just had a Lap & Dye done to check tubes not blocked etc and I am OK in that department and everything seems to be functioning normally and hubby all ok to.... we are “unexplained infertility” My fertility specialist is going to check my cervix and uterus in a few weeks to make sure they are ok and then booked us in for IUI. I almost wish they found something then at least I would know why it’s not happening!!!

I use a CBFM and I am basically I am POAS addict lol, I think it all just sometimes gets me down.... I never let on to anyone except on this site.

X

Hi Nat, Do I know you? or at least do we have a mutual friend?? only kidding I don't know anyone in Southampton, but I think your friend sounds just like one of mine!! it was the me,me,me bit
I can totally relate to the friend scenario as I say I have one just like yours.
She thinks she knows everything there is about being a mother because, she is and I'm not and asks me questions like "so when's the wedding?" (only got engaged in Nov '10) I said we haven't planned anything yet, so she then says "well, when's the baby then?" blunt or what!
I'm sorry to hear about your mc and feel the frustration that you haven't been able to fall pregnant as quickly again.
I totally get when you say you almost wished they had found an issue to explain the unexplained. It's the not knowing that is the killer.

At least you have this place to express your feelings and let off some steam.
I hope things go well with your appointment in the coming weeks.

 

[Storm1jet2]

Poor you - I hate the way people can be so insensitive! People do tend to think about themselves and just rattle on when it comes to pregnancy without thinking it might be tough on you!

Hopefully you will get your before your friend

 

[Ruth2307]

I know someone like that too and sometimes I wonder why we put up with it because real friends wouldn't do that to us! Or at least we would be comfortable enough to be able express ourselves freely and say 'Do you know how you make me feel when you do/say that?' But alas we bite our tongues, smile and say what they want to hear.

I'm glad that you can come on this forum and let it all out and there is no fear of ever being judged. In fact it's the polar opposite, you will get heaps of warmth, empathy and understanding.
xxxx

 

[Nat 1976]

Ha ha ha Claire, Congratulations on your engagement!!! And thank you for your kind words, I feel better already.

I reckon everyone has “one of those” friends!! Ours sound like they might be twins both insensitive and a bit rude.

Mine said the weirdest thing to me the other day she pointed out to me how “I am not a naturally maternal person” I asked her what she meant and she said “well your one of those people who can take it or leave it.... and would be happy with or without kids” apparently because growing up I never really cooed over babies that means I never wanted any ...... what is she on!!!

I just have to laugh about it or I would probably never speak to her and she can when she wants, be lovely, I think she is just “not naturally” a very sensitive person.

Lot of luck to you too

 

[Nat 1976]

Hi Strom, thanks for you reply ive been following your thread through March TTC but didnt post as i was not able to try last month due to having a Lap & Dye but iam on day 3 of a new cycle today hoping April will be the month for you and everyone else.... good luck all xx

 

[Nat 1976]

I know someone like that too and sometimes I wonder why we put up with it because real friends wouldn't do that to us! Or at least we would be comfortable enough to be able express ourselves freely and say 'Do you know how you make me feel when you do/say that?' But alas we bite our tongues, smile and say what they want to hear.

I'm glad that you can come on this forum and let it all out and there is no fear of ever being judged. In fact it's the polar opposite, you will get heaps of warmth, empathy and understanding.
xxxx

Thanks Ruth, its great coming to this site and finding people that feel the same or that can just make you feel better.

I sometime wonder how i have not bitten my tongue clean off, i bite it that much LOL xx

 

[Claireyb1]

Ha ha ha Claire, Congratulations on your engagement!!! And thank you for your kind words, I feel better already.

I reckon everyone has “one of those” friends!! Ours sound like they might be twins both insensitive and a bit rude.

Mine said the weirdest thing to me the other day she pointed out to me how “I am not a naturally maternal person” I asked her what she meant and she said “well your one of those people who can take it or leave it.... and would be happy with or without kids” apparently because growing up I never really cooed over babies that means I never wanted any ...... what is she on!!!

I just have to laugh about it or I would probably never speak to her and she can when she wants, be lovely, I think she is just “not naturally” a very sensitive person.

Lot of luck to you too

Oh how funny, I was laughing really loudly when I read your post!
Twins - most def! "insensitive and a bit rude" absolutetly spot on.
I wonder what it would be like if the shoe was on the other foot??

I know people would say ditch a friend that is like that, but as you point out when they are lovely they are lovely - just a shame they have lost their tact and sensitivity gene somewhere along the way

 

[Claireyb1]

Hi Strom, thanks for you reply ive been following your thread through March TTC but didnt post as i was not able to try last month due to having a Lap & Dye but iam on day 3 of a new cycle today hoping April will be the month for you and everyone else.... good luck all xx

Come and join us in this months post!I think it is titled "onwards and upwards"
All the support and understanding a girl could want and no insensitivity! lol

 

[Nat 1976]

Hi Strom, thanks for you reply ive been following your thread through March TTC but didnt post as i was not able to try last month due to having a Lap & Dye but iam on day 3 of a new cycle today hoping April will be the month for you and everyone else.... good luck all xx

Come and join us in this months post!I think it is titled "onwards and upwards"
All the support and understanding a girl could want and no insensitivity! lol

I think i have just joined that one !!!! x