Just needed to post: anxious

[PugLuvAh]

I just needed to post this and get it out there, I've been kind of denying how I'm feeling for weeks now so I just want to acknowledge it.

My first pregnancy was a miscarriage, which took 15 months to conceive, and it ended early. I was lucky enough to conceive again quickly and even though there were problems with bleeding in early pregnancy, I had a lovely baby boy. And I was lucky enough to have a second healthy baby.

I am pregnant for the third time and this miscarriage has overshadowed each of my pregnancies. I am so anxious that something is wrong. I can't yet feel any movement so I have no reassurance everything is ok. Each day leading up for my 20 week ultrasound is an eternity. I am so worried that the baby won't have a heart beat. My husband wants to tell everyone we're expecting and I don't want to because I fear we're going to have to take it back. I feel silly admitting this to him since we've had 2 healthy pregnancies since the m/c, but its all I think about.

I know there is nothing I can do right now. I know I just need to wait and think positively. There have been no symptoms leading me to believe the baby isn't ok. I tell myself this every single day.

Just wanted to acknowledge that I am still so worried.

Thanks for reading xo

 

[Topanga053]

Have you had ultrasounds already? The 20 week u/s isn't your only one, is it??

 

[PugLuvAh]

No, I had one at 12 weeks. Just seems like the longest wait between 12 and 20 weeks sometimes

I had an appointment today and got to hear the heart beat. Gave me some relief. Once I start feeling the baby move more regularly I'll start to get some reassurance I'm sure.