"Just relax and it will happen" - Sure?

[RoosterBebe]

People around me that know we are TTC always say “don’t think about it and it will happen”, “relax about it” … “don’t focus on getting pregnant”. Easier said than done. If one more person tells me to “just relax” I will go crazy. Just because my mother got pregnant in like a minute with me, and my sister in law has 2 kids, I feel like they don’t know what I’m going through. They tell me I shouldn’t bother testing until I’m at least a week late. Seriously?! I mean …..I can barely wait till 9 DPO and run to buy a FRER. My sister in law gave me a very strange look when I said that I’m using OPK, followed by a comment that we don’t need OPK; we just need to BD more often. Really?!
Anyone else have the same issue?

 

[AS116]

YES! My sister told me:

"Relax, just keep doing it every other day."

STFU!

 

[eebee]

This is why I'm so glad that very few people know that we are really trying.

 

[Magan85]

oh I feel ya!! We made the mistake of telling our families at Christmas time that we were trying... we had been trying since October so we didnt think it would take this long.. now EVERYONE asks when I see them if we are pregnant yet Nope "well stop trying it will happen".. ya ok!!! Wish it was as easy for me as everyone else around me! My mom also told me I didnt need OPK's with a funny look..

 

[markswife10]

I hate when people tell us that. They just need to realize that it comes easier for some people than others. Yeah, if it was as easy as "relax" I'd have been pregnant when we first started NTNP... we weren't worried about it at all then. And then last month I didn't temp, OPK, or anything else, just had fun... Yeah, here I am cycle # 10. I wish it was that easy!

 

[jessandaj]

People around me that know we are TTC always say “don’t think about it and it will happen”, “relax about it” … “don’t focus on getting pregnant”. Easier said than done. If one more person tells me to “just relax” I will go crazy. Just because my mother got pregnant in like a minute with me, and my sister in law has 2 kids, I feel like they don’t know what I’m going through. They tell me I shouldn’t bother testing until I’m at least a week late. Seriously?! I mean …..I can barely wait till 9 DPO and run to buy a FRER. My sister in law gave me a very strange look when I said that I’m using OPK, followed by a comment that we don’t need OPK; we just need to BD more often. Really?!
Anyone else have the same issue?

Yes people are always saying its gunna happen just wait or dont think about it everyone gets pregnant when they stop thinking about it, well if they were able to stop thinking about it then they must not have actually wanted it that bad because i cant stop i cant i have tried, its hard enough for me to take a opk break to try and reliave some stress from it all. It makes me mad when people who have never really tried try and give advice its like someone trying to tell you how to buy a house when they have never bought one its like no you dont know how to try you never have.

 

[piya]

hope they were true for us too.. relax !!!how the hell we can be !! Try to be busy--surely to avoid thinking of our ttc plan going on..
BABY DUST............................

 

[tnguyen916]

YES...I know how you feel! I hate it when people tell me to not stress..b/c its stressing me out more when people tell me not to stress..LOL...

I just feel that people who are not in my position should not give advice about TTC. If I would have taken there advice about just relaxing.. then I would be waiting for a very LONG time...ad I just recently found out that my tubes were blocked (just had an HSG done last thurs). The dr thinks the HSG actually cleared my right tube (took awhile for dye to enter the tube and he put more pressure on the dye and it finally went through w dye spillage...but my left tube is def blocked (closest to my left ovary) as its dilated and no dye spillage. I also think the HSG cleared something b/c a few hours after the exam I had a huge glob inside me which I had to pull out which kinda looks like a mucous plug...

But at least now I know there was an actual physical problem...me relaxing and not stressing about TTC would not magically unblock my tubes...

 

[hopingforit]

My DH used to say that to me all the time before we reached the one year mark. I swear I flipped out on him every single time but he never got the hint until one day when I really let him have it. I haven't told anyone else except my mother that we are TTC so no one really says that to me. If someone told me OPKs aren't useful, I'd be so mad. Once I get a positive on the OPK, I know that in 12 days AF is going to start. Sometimes it goes into 13DPO but just the morning so OPKs are very useful for me. I am a POAS addict and if I don't know when AF is coming, I start testing at like 4DPO...LOL

 

[mptyler]

Hi all! I'm new to this but YES I am also SOOOOO OVER HEARING THAT!! GRRRR!! 'Oh it'll happen when you least expect it' or 'Try not to think about it and it'll be'.

I'm 13 DPO, got a BFN this morning . AF is due in 2 days. Had some cramps today and felt like she was here, but when I'd check she wasn't there. Just keeping my fingers crossed but I really don't think it'll happen...again.

Good luck to all!

 

[RoosterBebe]

My DH used to say that to me all the time before we reached the one year mark. I swear I flipped out on him every single time but he never got the hint until one day when I really let him have it. I haven't told anyone else except my mother that we are TTC so no one really says that to me. If someone told me OPKs aren't useful, I'd be so mad. Once I get a positive on the OPK, I know that in 12 days AF is going to start. Sometimes it goes into 13DPO but just the morning so OPKs are very useful for me. I am a POAS addict and if I don't know when AF is coming, I start testing at like 4DPO...LOL

I'm the same way. I think it's empoweing to know when you ov, and its good to know your body.

 

[RoosterBebe]

Hi all! I'm new to this but YES I am also SOOOOO OVER HEARING THAT!! GRRRR!! 'Oh it'll happen when you least expect it' or 'Try not to think about it and it'll be'.

I'm 13 DPO, got a BFN this morning . AF is due in 2 days. Had some cramps today and felt like she was here, but when I'd check she wasn't there. Just keeping my fingers crossed but I really don't think it'll happen...again.

Good luck to all!

I'm 12 DPO and have some spotting. As much as I wanna convince myself its implantation spotting (that works every time LOL) Im pretty sure its AF

 

[Cilnia]

Omg i know right.. only my best friend knows were ttc and she also says i'd be better off without OPK and charting. i shouldn't stress about it, bc it will happen on its own. Well easy to say, she got preg 1st month trying.

I'm very glad i haven't told anyone else yet...

 

[daniellex27]

This is why I'm so glad that very few people know that we are really trying.

True that! No one at all knows we are trying except one of mine and his absolute best friends. I feel it makes it more exciting for our family when they get that, "hey, i'm pregnant!" phone call

 

[samj732]

I hate this so much too. Our families don't know we are trying but the girls I work with do, mostly because I can't shut my mouth about it but every month it's something new. "it'll happen when you don't want it to happen" "stop stressing about it" can you EVER stop wanting to be pregnant until you are?! I've tried to convince myself that I don't want a child but it doesn't work. People who have had no problems conceiving have NO IDEA what we go through.

 

[RoosterBebe]

This is why I'm so glad that very few people know that we are really trying.

True that! No one at all knows we are trying except one of mine and his absolute best friends. I feel it makes it more exciting for our family when they get that, "hey, i'm pregnant!" phone call

I also was trying to surprise my family, but after 4 months trying I just needed to talk to someone about it.

 

[curlygurl]

I have heard the "just relax" speech as well - what bugs me about it, is that it implies - that I am doing something WRONG. Is it so wrong to be excited to start the next chapter in your life? At the 6 month mark - I knew it was more than just relaxing, and now a year later - how can I relax?! How can I relax when I have blood tests, and probing ultrasounds, and doctors visit after doctors visit?
I know exactly how you feel it is a total bummer - but at the same time, people don't know what to say. Hang in there.

 

[pluck15]

I haven't really had the "relax speech" but I did have a friend tell me that I shouldn't talk about it so much and I shouldn't get my hopes up, because I'll probably just get let down. Is it so wrong to get excited about such a life changing situation? Something that you've dreamed about for so long....How are you not supposed to get excited? There is nothing wrong with hope and positive thoughts! If you aren't super excited about it and in it heart and soul...then you probably shouldn't be ttc!

 

[readerwriter]

I've only told one friend. She basically told me to enjoy the BD because after the baby is born, your sex life goes down the tubes. I wish I could have that attitude, but she has a different perspective since she got pregnant after only trying for 2 months and having no expectation that she would get pregnant that quickly.

 

[samj732]

I also hate it when people say stuff like that, "your sex life goes to pot" or "you won't have any social life anymore." I think life is what you make it, and just because I have a baby doesn't mean I'm never going to want to have sex again or make it impossible to go out to eat with my girlfriends. I'm not giving up my life to have a baby, I'm dedicating myself to raising that child to be the best I can raise him/her to be. There's a big difference. (if that makes sense to others like it does to me at least! )