AJCart
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- Feb 18, 2013
- Messages
- 295
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I'm not sure what I am hoping to get out of this other than just somewhere to actually put in to words all the horrible feelings and thoughts I'm having.
For the last couple of months things have been spiralling out of control for me. I'm so far in a hole I can't even figure out how I'm supposed to begin to get myself out. I wake up every day thinking, that's it, today you pull yourself together and stop being so damn stupid and ungrateful. By the end of the day I'm a wreck all over again.
I find myself thinking several times a day how my husband and my beautiful little girl deserve so much better than me. I feel like I'm being selfish for wanting to be a part of their lives because they could be so much happier without me. I'm terrified that one day DH is going to get sick of me and take Roxy and leave.
I feel like I have failed Roxy in so many ways. From the way she was born, not being able to breastfeed her, losing my cool and raising my voice at her when she just wants me to help her. I feel like the worst mother in the world and I just can't shake it.
DH has made a doctor's appointment for me on Monday, but I don't know how I'm meant to tell anybody all of this in person. What is a doctor going to think of me? I'm just so lost.
For the last couple of months things have been spiralling out of control for me. I'm so far in a hole I can't even figure out how I'm supposed to begin to get myself out. I wake up every day thinking, that's it, today you pull yourself together and stop being so damn stupid and ungrateful. By the end of the day I'm a wreck all over again.
I find myself thinking several times a day how my husband and my beautiful little girl deserve so much better than me. I feel like I'm being selfish for wanting to be a part of their lives because they could be so much happier without me. I'm terrified that one day DH is going to get sick of me and take Roxy and leave.
I feel like I have failed Roxy in so many ways. From the way she was born, not being able to breastfeed her, losing my cool and raising my voice at her when she just wants me to help her. I feel like the worst mother in the world and I just can't shake it.
DH has made a doctor's appointment for me on Monday, but I don't know how I'm meant to tell anybody all of this in person. What is a doctor going to think of me? I'm just so lost.