Just spoke to a/my midwife and feeling a bit disheartened

[Natnee]

So this was a call to arrange my booking in appointment. She said it best I don't go to the 'early bird' group session due to my history, which is fine. But then she wanted me to go for my booking in appointment on the 20th Jan. I pointed out I'd be 11 weeks by then, isn't that a bit late!! (considering my history) so she rang me back and offered me either 12th or 13th, so going on 12th. I just found her quite cold and short with me, almost like I was putting her out! I know they are stretched but even maybe saying congratulations might have been nice.

Sorry a bit of a pointless rant, I just feel a bit disheartened, because of what happened to my daughter they would be a bit more enthusiastic perhaps. Just wondering if they follow through with the extra scans they promised after I lost Poppy in my next pregnancy.

 

[Eleanor ace]

Ugh that's rubbish . Since you lost your little Poppy and have also suffered miscarriages, you'd think they'd want to give you extra time and support. As a MW, she should know how important the extra reassurance (and celebration of your pregnancy!) is. I hope that this is just a blip and you receive nothing but the best care from her onwards. Give them hell if they try to fob you off without the extra scans!

 

[vitriolic_vix]

Sorry you've had a bad experience on the phone. Perhaps it was just one sour Apple and the next one will be bar. Perhaps mention it at your next appointment?

Congratulations!

 

[Natnee]

Yeah, maybe she was having a bad day, even so, she sounded so put out! Anyway my oh is coming with me, so I'm sure if he feels uneasy he'll say something! And I have the letter from the hospital in which it says they'll dive me extra scans, so I have it in black and white!

 

[LoraLoo]

Im so sorry that your midwife came across like that. I understand how important it is to have the support you need after the loss of a child. dont be scared to be pushy for what you need, they're paid to look after you and your baby and that means your mental well being too. If you need seeing earlier/ more often ( I know I did) make sure you tell them, or get hubby to. If you're still not happy with your midwife you can always ask to see another, although you may have to see her further afield than usual x

 

[Natnee]

I sure hope they'll see me more often. With my 1st daughter they saw me more often because my mum had also had a stillborn baby (before I was born) due to pre-eclampsia, but because my pregnancy with her went well I was not seen as at risk with Poppy, so saw them the minimum times. And I saw a different person every time I think! No continuity!

 

[LoraLoo]

It really is hit and miss. Are you in the uk? If so- you should be consultant led, but even this I found hit and miss. Not to worry you deliberately, but iften Id leave in tears. Hslf of them never read my notes, others did but didn't seem to understand what care I needed. You really have to spell it out to them sometimes (something I find really hard to do- fortunately hubby is a lot pushier than me!)
On the flip side, ive also had some amazing, understanding care providers. Seems it's the luck of the draw.
Hope the rest of your pregnancy is smooth and unadventful!

 

[Natnee]

Well I had my booking appointment and didn't go too badly, all the usual things. She started to run through in the book all the scans/appointments I'd have, then I stepped in and produced my letter so she's referring me to fetal medicine and consultant. She seemed OK although she asked me what a chemical pregnancy was (!!!!) as I'd written it in my notes!!

The only thing I'm peeved about is she's reverted back to the edd and dates from my lmp, although from an early private scan they put me forward 5 days. From that I'm 10 weeks today (as per my ticker) but based on lmp I'm only 9+2. So that's put back when I will have my 12 week scan which is annoying.

 

[Talia12]

Yeah they don't like private scans, in my last preg I was put forward 4 days at 8 weeks with a private scan, they seemed pretty miffed about it when I told the midwives and ignored that EDD too, so this time around when I had a private scan at 6+5 the woman gave me a report to give my GP or midwife and I've just kept it! They're funny about women having private scans. Don't worry about your 12 week being put back, it's only a few days. Annoying I know when the wait is already interminable but it'll get here.
Not great about the chem preg thing! After my sister had a c section, she had extremely painful trapped wind, apparently this is a really well-known thing but her midwife had no idea it could happen. You definitely get less than totally knowledgeable midwives, especially concerning things that aren't technically within their remit (like chem pregs and c sections) but you'd still expect them to know!

 

[Natnee]

Yeah they don't like private scans, in my last preg I was put forward 4 days at 8 weeks with a private scan, they seemed pretty miffed about it when I told the midwives and ignored that EDD too, so this time around when I had a private scan at 6+5 the woman gave me a report to give my GP or midwife and I've just kept it! They're funny about women having private scans. Don't worry about your 12 week being put back, it's only a few days. Annoying I know when the wait is already interminable but it'll get here.
Not great about the chem preg thing! After my sister had a c section, she had extremely painful trapped wind, apparently this is a really well-known thing but her midwife had no idea it could happen. You definitely get less than totally knowledgeable midwives, especially concerning things that aren't technically within their remit (like chem pregs and c sections) but you'd still expect them to know!

You would think wouldn't you! She was probably in her 50's I would guess, so you'd thing she must've heard 'chemical pregnancy ' before!! And if midwives are doing follow up appointments after you've given birth whether c section or not, a symptom like trapped wind should be known!!

 

[glong88]

Hey. Glad your appointment went well. Let me no when you've got your 12 weeks scan won't be to long now x

 

[Natnee]

Hey. Glad your appointment went well. Let me no when you've got your 12 weeks scan won't be to long now x

Hi glong! I guess it'll be sometime beginning of Feb. Just still feels ages away!

 

[glong88]

The letter is normally fairly quick so hopefully you'll get it next week then the scan be only 10 days away or so xx

 

[Mum2BKW]

We had a private scan at 9 weeks, and just had my 12 week scan today. When we told the technician about the private scan she asked who it was with, and when we told her she was thrilled! She knew the private Dr well and immediately entered the due date we were given privately as she trusts the Dr's experience so much! So it's not always that they hate private scans, we had quite the opposite xx

 

[Talia12]

Mum2B, that's really good that you had that experience! If it was an ultrasound tech it might be why they knew the other tech, I doubt a midwife or GP would know them. In my experience (and that of relatives unrelated to pregnancy) sometimes NHS docs and nurses etc can bristle a bit if you mention private healthcare, for that reason I'm not mentioning my private scan to any of them.. It's like because there isn't cohesion there, and the info isn't on any of your NHS records, they kind of don't trust it sometimes

 

[SonnyH]

I have to agree the NHS are sometimes quick to ignore any private treatment you've had. I think they want you to trust the care they give but it's not always that easy when you feel like they aren't listening. I've so far had very good care from my midwife and most of my doctors, hopefully it will continue. I'm quite careful to request my Doctors appointments with the younger GP's at my practice. I find them to be much more forward thinking and up to date on things! I've been on Ondanestron from very early as I was pretty sick. One day I went for my asthma check with the elder doctor in the practise and he gave me such a lecture about taking medication during pregnancy and how I was putting my babies life at risk! He told me stop taking it immediately. I left the practice crying! My complained and got an emergency appointment with a different doctor who reassured me that due to me throwing up every meal and drink, the benefits outweighed the small risk!

I hope your care turns out to be OK! Def be as assertive as you can be, this is your baby and only you have been through your history. All the best wishes for this pregnancy!