Hi There, I'm in NZ. Am 41, (turning 42 in April) and been trying since we got married last year. I had a miscarriage in September, after only trying to concieve for 3 months. So even though it didn't progress past 5.5 weeks, we were thrilled to get pregnant at all, and so quickly. It's now been almost a year. One thing I have that know one knew before I miscarried is Hashimoto's Disease, in short, it's hypothyroidism. This just means that I have antibodies (some people do, some don't it seems it's hereditery as my sisters have them as well). So my thyroid is being killed off by my body because it thinks its a foreign organ. So anyway, I'm on medication - so it's managed. And so far all of my tests have come back that I am super fertile, and although Hashimoto's (with high TSH usually ceases ovulation, and periods) however I've ovulated every month, although my TSH was high, and my periods have been super on time.
We have continued to try after the miscarriage, and I think the hardest part after that is time. I struggle with feeling like it's my fault that it's not working. My husband is 33 bless him, and a sweetheart, we have been together for 8 years (I was married before, for 10 years and didn't want to get married again, although I did want children - it took me a while to come to terms with it).
So for me I'm struggling each month, to just keep positive, hoping next month will be the one I get to see 2 lines, not just one lonely one. I just wanted to touch base with anyone else who is trying over 40. IVF is not funded for over 40 here, so we are looking at this, and it will be well into $15,000 for one round (including $1,500 per implantation for each embryo). So it's scarey, have to remortgage our house.
We just had the huge earthquake in Christchurch and my problems seem small compared to people there, I'm about 5 hours away, but we know many affected.
I just pray that anyone else who is looking at Ttc over 40 doesn't feel, past it or old. This is the right time for me, I had alot to work through after my first marriage, and had to be ready, we got married last year. My GP and Specialist all say everything, besides my thyroid is perfect and I have fertility of a 25 year old - and very healthy. So I think that you should be very hopefull. I'd love to talk with someone else over 40 that is also going on this journey. I'm at day 27. Did a HPT this morning, negative. But have brown/pinkish small discharge. Bit of cramping and sooooorrrrree boobs, so was hopefull. I use the digital ovulation kit, with the happy face, very good, I feel more secure with that. All my cm is on time and profuse and stretchy before day 14, so all good. Husband had sperm tested, he was off the chart!!! 193 million per ml!! (over 15 million is normal
) motility was 60% so over 30% is great. He was happy, I thought, ok so it's me. But apparently it's not.
IVF wise, we are trying to wait, as our GP feels we should give it the best shot naturally. Everyone advises to say "Don't think about it" - Don't worry about it. SOOOOOO easy to say - soooooo hard to do. I had a melt down yesterday, I do every month, and I get so hopeless and helpless feeling. I'm a christian and I know that God has a plan all be it that if it's not to have my own children we are looking at adoption as well.
My GP had a 47 year old come in the other day pregnant. I think that people have a "judgment" on woman over 40 having children. We are so much healthier, happier (except at the end of each month) and ready to give our hearts and time to be mothers. Most of us will live active healthy, full lives up to 100. Although some days I struggle with my age, most of my friends think I am in my late 20's early 30's (how sweet) and my sister just gave birth to her second and she turns 40 in June.
I do feel like the medical industry needs to reassess what the fertility age is, because I think it's shifting. I do believe that woman can have children older, and they should if it is right for them. Before this I was not in a mental place to give my time or energy to being a mum. My previous marriage was very volitile, and it took me many years to regain my strength. My husband (we have been together for 9 years) is a wonderful, loving beautiful man, who I adore, and we have a rock solid relationship and I am happy with him, with or without children, but I want him to experience being a father, so I am sad and sometimes think he should have chosen someone younger.
So good days bad days, today - a little sad, and down. I'm a good aunty and love my niece and nephew. So if you are feeling low - reply and I'll try to cheer you up
All the best and good luck!!
Omi xxx
it's all in the lap of the gods....but I'm giving it all my best shot, I ain't giving up yet!!!!!!!
xXx
