Just thought i'd explain my journey & say hello!

[LoolaXx]

Hello lovely ladies :} just thought i'd introduce myself and explain my journey so far. My name's Louisa and i'm 19. In short, i haven't been on this forum for a long while since what happened before (which i'll explain further down) but for anyone who doesn't want to read an essayhaha i'm currently trying for baby #1 with the absolute love of my life and it'd be lovely to speak to others in the same position!

So the longer part.. As a 16 year old, I thought i found 'the love' foolishly, and to my complete shock, found myself pregnant after a missed period. Our relationship was a mess, our families hated each other, he use to verbally and physically abuse me and i was scared out of my life for our unborn baby! but it was our doing, he/she didn't ask to be there, so we had to step up. Cutting a much longer story short, at 8 weeks I had a slight bleed which they scheduled me in for a scan 3 days later. Everything was fine, we even saw the outline of a TINY baby with a beating heart. I was overjoyed for the next 3/4 weeks until my 12 week scan, to find the baby had died. I had a mmc I was heartbroken, angry, didn't understand why it had to happen to me. The baby had died just after my internal scan at 8 weeks, but i just didn't miscarry naturally so I then had a ERPC a few days later. It took me a long time to heal! That was nearly 4 years ago and a lot has happened since! Not long after I lost my angel, me and the 'idiot' (i could use many stronger words) went our separate ways. 2 years on from him, when I found myself to be a little more mature and understanding of life, I found my other half that i'm convinced is 'the one' this time. He's 22. From day one, he's provided for me, although i would love to pull my own weight he insists on being the man and providing for me is what he classes as his job. There's nothing he wouldn't do for me, and we feel ready to bring a child of our own into the world. I'm so excited to try, but also petrified. I'm convinced that EVERY 12 week scan i go to, i'll see the same as I saw last time. We started trying last month, did the 'baby dance' all around my fertile window. AF is due on wednesday so I couldn't help but do a cheeky test today which came back negative.. not too sure how to feel about it considering it's a bit early too test, or is it?! I've been taking conception support tablets which i obviously didn't take last time around as it was completely unplanned. Either way, it's only month #1 I guess! With regards to our age, I honestly think if you can be good parents and provide, then age isn't an issue. We really do know what we want, that isn't the 'clubbing' life, but it's the 'family' life and i honestly can't wait for my BFP!

xxx

 

[prettybirdy27]

Welcome and best of luck to you! I'm so sorry to hear about your m/c, but I'm glad that you've found the one and are ready to try!

Regarding the age, I know a girl that got married as soon as she turned 18, and then was pregnant within three months of the wedding. I honestly thought it was too young until I saw how happy she was, and how well their family was doing. Five years later, she has three kids and has the life that I dream of. So don't let age stop you as long as you're able to provide for the baby.

 

[HopingCarter]

First off, I commend you for even telling your story and being so mature about it! I think for the most part, people generally don't want to see 16/17 yo having kids b/c of the lack of maturity or the inability to properly take care of the babies, but honestly I've seen younger women take better care of their kids than older women, but you are an adult now, that decision is 100% yours right now. I am sorry, however, to hear that you had to go through that. I am happily married now, so I won't bring up the past as I am still trying to fully recover emotionally from it, but I was in a similar position with a former ex-BF. I'm just glad overall you came out of it okay. Finding someone after who truly cares for and loves you is sometimes overwhelming, but it can happen. As long as you two know what comes with bringing a child into this world and you can provide the necessities it needs like you stated, then who is anyone to judge you. From my experience, what is meant to be will be. You seem like you are happy and I don't see any reason why you should get your FX for you no matter what, and I hope you get your heart's desire hun

 

[LoolaXx]

First off, I commend you for even telling your story and being so mature about it! I think for the most part, people generally don't want to see 16/17 yo having kids b/c of the lack of maturity or the inability to properly take care of the babies, but honestly I've seen younger women take better care of their kids than older women, but you are an adult now, that decision is 100% yours right now. I am sorry, however, to hear that you had to go through that. I am happily married now, so I won't bring up the past as I am still trying to fully recover emotionally from it, but I was in a similar position with a former ex-BF. I'm just glad overall you came out of it okay. Finding someone after who truly cares for and loves you is sometimes overwhelming, but it can happen. As long as you two know what comes with bringing a child into this world and you can provide the necessities it needs like you stated, then who is anyone to judge you. From my experience, what is meant to be will be. You seem like you are happy and I don't see any reason why you should get your FX for you no matter what, and I hope you get your heart's desire hun

Thank you so much words like those do mean a lot right now. I guess because of what happened before I just feel fragile.. I know i should be trying to look past it but a part of me never will be able to! I strongly believe in 'everything happens for a reason', so was it the babies way of saying it's not the right time? who knows. but now is the right time so yes lets keep our fx. So how long have you been trying?

Welcome and best of luck to you! I'm so sorry to hear about your m/c, but I'm glad that you've found the one and are ready to try!

Regarding the age, I know a girl that got married as soon as she turned 18, and then was pregnant within three months of the wedding. I honestly thought it was too young until I saw how happy she was, and how well their family was doing. Five years later, she has three kids and has the life that I dream of. So don't let age stop you as long as you're able to provide for the baby.

It's so true, a lot of people judge way too quickly! I guess i've just followed in my parents foot steps. They were married at 18 and had me at 20, they gave me a wonderful childhood, i've never wanted for anything and they were young parents. they've just celebrated their 30th wedding anniversary, that's exactly how i want to be

Lots and lots of baby dust ladies

 

[HopingCarter]

Thank you so much! I have been trying officially for 4 months, but I did get pregnant the first cycle we started trying and I made it to 11 weeks 2 days then I had a MC on Sept 5 and a D&C on 9/8. I just had my first period since the MC so we're planning to start trying again right after

 

[fluffet521]

Loola, I am so sorry to hear of your mmc and the way your first love treated you. I am glad you are no longer in that relationship and have someone who respects you and loves you and treats you as you should be treated! Good luck, I'm blowing lots and lots of baby dust your way!

 

[fluffet521]

Thank you so much! I have been trying officially for 4 months, but I did get pregnant the first cycle we started trying and I made it to 11 weeks 2 days then I had a MC on Sept 5 and a D&C on 9/8. I just had my first period since the MC so we're planning to start trying again right after

HopingCarter, how are you doing now? I had a MMC and I didn't think I'd ever recover from it. I cried every day for weeks. I hope you know you are not alone. I'm sending lots of hugs to you! I was very upset by how few members of my family checked on me by call/text after my DNC - it really hurt my feelings, especially after what I had just gone through. So I just want to reach out, even though I'm a stranger, and tell you that you aren't alone and we are here for you!

So glad to hear you're TTC again, though. I wish you much luck and I'm sending lots and lots of baby dust, too!

 

[LoolaXx]

Thank you fluffet :}

AF is due tomorrow .. I tested again this morning and still getting a BFN so i'm guessing it didn't happen this month! i'm 90% sure it would come up with a very faint line by now, the day before! How many DPO are you all? I find that each cycle goes SO quickly when TTC. xx

 

[AB0891]

Hello lovelys, hope u dont mind me jumping into this convo. I'm also ttc after a miscarriage and hope we all have our wishes soon. I just joined this forum yesterday so its all a bit new to me xx

 

[HopingCarter]

HopingCarter, how are you doing now? I had a MMC and I didn't think I'd ever recover from it. I cried every day for weeks. I hope you know you are not alone. I'm sending lots of hugs to you! I was very upset by how few members of my family checked on me by call/text after my DNC - it really hurt my feelings, especially after what I had just gone through. So I just want to reach out, even though I'm a stranger, and tell you that you aren't alone and we are here for you!

So glad to hear you're TTC again, though. I wish you much luck and I'm sending lots and lots of baby dust, too!

Thanks fluffet for asking! I am also sorry for your loss. No easy task coming back after a MC, but I am actually doing a lot better now. I did have a few breakdown days the week after it happened because it seemed like everyone had just forgotten about it and moved on, but I think they just didn't know how to react to it after the "I'm sorry it happened to you" and "God will give you a healthy baby soon", what more could they say? My hubby has been really supportive even though he had his breakdown about it. He's actually one of the main reasons I was able to bounce back emotionally. Also, I've just put in God's hands and believe him to make a me a mommy soon.

Thanks again for your support and I send lots of to you as well. FX for our BFPs this month Ladies!!!

 

[fluffet521]

Thank you fluffet :}

AF is due tomorrow .. I tested again this morning and still getting a BFN so i'm guessing it didn't happen this month! i'm 90% sure it would come up with a very faint line by now, the day before! How many DPO are you all? I find that each cycle goes SO quickly when TTC. xx

Let us know if AF does show up, and if not, I'd take another HPT the following day. Surely you'd get your BFP being one day late! FX for you, hun!

 

[fluffet521]

Hello lovelys, hope u dont mind me jumping into this convo. I'm also ttc after a miscarriage and hope we all have our wishes soon. I just joined this forum yesterday so its all a bit new to me xx

Welcome, AB! I just joined last week, so I'm right there with you. I'm so very sorry for your loss. I hate that so many of us have suffered these terrible losses. BabyandBump members have been very helpful and supportive so far. I hope you find them to be the same for you!

 

[fluffet521]

HopingCarter, how are you doing now? I had a MMC and I didn't think I'd ever recover from it. I cried every day for weeks. I hope you know you are not alone. I'm sending lots of hugs to you! I was very upset by how few members of my family checked on me by call/text after my DNC - it really hurt my feelings, especially after what I had just gone through. So I just want to reach out, even though I'm a stranger, and tell you that you aren't alone and we are here for you!

So glad to hear you're TTC again, though. I wish you much luck and I'm sending lots and lots of baby dust, too!

Thanks fluffet for asking! I am also sorry for your loss. No easy task coming back after a MC, but I am actually doing a lot better now. I did have a few breakdown days the week after it happened because it seemed like everyone had just forgotten about it and moved on, but I think they just didn't know how to react to it after the "I'm sorry it happened to you" and "God will give you a healthy baby soon", what more could they say? My hubby has been really supportive even though he had his breakdown about it. He's actually one of the main reasons I was able to bounce back emotionally. Also, I've just put in God's hands and believe him to make a me a mommy soon.

Thanks again for your support and I send lots of to you as well. FX for our BFPs this month Ladies!!!

Thank you, hun. I'm glad to hear you're doing better. I guess you're right - what more can they say? I completely understand what you mean when you said it seemed like everyone else had forgotten about it and moved on - I felt EXACTLY the same way. If it weren't for DH, I would have slipped into a depression (which I already take medication for). I just thought more people would have checked in on me more often with a "how are you doing today?" or "just wanted to tell you you're in my thoughts and prayers" or something along those lines. Even my parents dropped the ball! I felt very alone, like no one understood what I was going through. If only I'd found BabyandBump at that time! But as I began healing emotionally, I got really frustrated thinking back to how only one of my sisters and my best friend checked on me on a regular basis (not including DH - he was amazing). I was very frustrated with that. Wow, sorry to go off on a tangent there! I guess I still have some raw emotions about it.

Anyway, I'm so glad your DH was what you needed, too. I love that you've put it in God's hands; I have, also. What more can we do?

 

[fluffet521]

Thank you fluffet :}

AF is due tomorrow .. I tested again this morning and still getting a BFN so i'm guessing it didn't happen this month! i'm 90% sure it would come up with a very faint line by now, the day before! How many DPO are you all? I find that each cycle goes SO quickly when TTC. xx

Let us know if AF does show up, and if not, I'd take another HPT the following day. Surely you'd get your BFP being one day late! FX for you, hun!

Also, AF showed up for me, so now I'm just waiting for this month's O. FX for all of us and baby dust all around!!!

 

[HopingCarter]

Sorry for your loss AB I'm glad you found BnB! this has been my refuge online, so I hope you find a couple of threads that will help you as they have helped me. How are you coming along after your MC? I hope you're doing well....

Heyyyyy me too Fluffett!! I hope that's the only time I'm excited she showed up. This will be my first AF after the D&C, which seemed like it took forever (32 days to be exact). I'm on CD5, so we will start trying on CD8 and BD every other day after that.
I understand completely where you're coming from though. I think I came up with that theory to stop myself from being so angry at everyone besides my hubby. NO ONE checked up on me. When I saw them, yeah they asked how I was doing, but I didn't get phone calls, texts, emails, house visits, etc..none of that. I was really bummed too. I thought this being my first pregnancy and first loss I would have more moral support besides DH, but no. So I came up with that theory to coax my own feelings and move on lol. I still think about it and I still get sentimental thinking about my little lost one, but there's always sunshine after the storm right?
Are you on any other threads fluffet?

 

[fluffet521]

HopingCarter, this is just weird! Our situations sound soooo similar! Right down to being on CD5 now!!! However, it was 35 days before AF visited after my D&C. I had REALLY irregular cycles before that, though, the longest being 52 days. This may sound strange, but I think the D&C regulated my cycles. I've had them on a regular basis ever since (30-32 days).

Have you tried using an OPK? I find them extremely helpful in predicting my Os. I'm also a mouth breather and my temps were pretty erratic. I thought I'd had several annovulatory cycles when I first started charting, but realized it was probably because I breathe through my mouth. I have since started using the crease of my leg at my inner thigh for temps, and that has been consistent. Vaginal temping just seemed like too much work, haha.

There IS always sunshine after the storm - I love your positive attitude!!! I am on other threads, but I'm not sure how to tell you to find them (I just joined last week). I did add you to my contacts, and checked the box to add you as a friend. I'm not sure how that works, though. I adore the married thing in your signature box but have no clue how to do that!

 

[LoolaXx]

I actually forgot how many people it happens to, until coming back on this forum site

i felt the exact same way after my mmc, it seemed as though everyone had forgotten about it days after! just because it was on my mind 24/7, i presumed it should be on everyone else's too.. plus i was so young which didn't help! I would never wish it on my worst enemy, hoping and praying we don't have to go through it again, none of us! this is what makes me scared to try, i know i shouldn't think like that.. but the thought of going to a 12 week scan and seeing a moving baby just seems impossible! makes me feel like i can't carry a baby, makes me think i've got things wrong with me! grrr. having one of those days i think positive thoughts need to be drummed into me!! xx

 

[fluffet521]

I hate that we've all gone through this, but I'm with you, Loola - hoping and praying none of us have to experience again!

I'm sorry you're having a rough day, Loola. Sending extra hugs for you today, dear!

 

[HopingCarter]

Loola, I'm so sorry you are going through "the day"! Unfortunately, there will more of those days, but the good news is it does get better. You don't ever stop thinking about your baby, but there will be a day when you finally say "At least I had the opportunity to get pregnant". Even though I didn't know what sex my baby was yet, I was just happy that he/she was in there and for that moment I was a mommy! There is no reason to think it won't happen again. You can only keep trying, and if there is by some small chance that there is something wrong, there are doctors who are willing to help you find out and resolve the issue. I know it's hard to be that positive when you get those down days, but just remember it wasn't your fault hun! There was nothing you could do to prevent it. I'm not sure if you'll ever know the reason why it happened, I still don't know, but the bright side is you CAN get pregnant darling, and I have every reason to believe you will. Take care and stay as positive as you can

 

[HopingCarter]

HopingCarter, this is just weird! Our situations sound soooo similar! Right down to being on CD5 now!!! However, it was 35 days before AF visited after my D&C. I had REALLY irregular cycles before that, though, the longest being 52 days. This may sound strange, but I think the D&C regulated my cycles. I've had them on a regular basis ever since (30-32 days).

Have you tried using an OPK? I find them extremely helpful in predicting my Os. I'm also a mouth breather and my temps were pretty erratic. I thought I'd had several annovulatory cycles when I first started charting, but realized it was probably because I breathe through my mouth. I have since started using the crease of my leg at my inner thigh for temps, and that has been consistent. Vaginal temping just seemed like too much work, haha.

There IS always sunshine after the storm - I love your positive attitude!!! I am on other threads, but I'm not sure how to tell you to find them (I just joined last week). I did add you to my contacts, and checked the box to add you as a friend. I'm not sure how that works, though. I adore the married thing in your signature box but have no clue how to do that!

I'm not really big on the temping fluffet, for two reasons; 1. I'm not sure when or how to do it, 2. After seeing how hysterical some women get with these charts, I know I'll go insane if things don't line up the way I think they should lol...I was planning to try charting my temps but I decided not to at this point. Now the opks was definitely in the plan. We are going with the SMEP (sperm meets egg plan), which my OB recommeded to do as well, which recommends using the opks and it seems simple enough, not too worrisome. I'm just trying not to make conceiving so "technical" and "mechanical". I know it's hard for some women to get pregnant so they have to do what they think is best for them, and I'm not knocking them or judging them at all because it's been proven to work. I just want my faith in the hands of the one above. He blessed me with the opportunity to get pregnant once without having to go those routes, so I'm gonna believe him to do again, just with more sex involved lol, that can't hurt right??
I see you got the signature! I love yours too!! That background looks so enticing compared to the awful weather we're having right now