Just Want A Son

Discussion in 'Gender Disappointment' started by MrsB_2015, Oct 2, 2017.

  1. MrsB_2015

    MrsB_2015 Well-Known Member

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    Hi ladies. I am 12 weeks pregnant with baby #3 (technically baby #2 if made to full term).

    My sister in law (I have two that are also pregnant right now) just found out that she's having a boy. I feel really guilty that my first feeling was jealousy. This makes me the only woman in the family without a son, and I know my husband really wants one and so do I. I haven't found out the gender of my baby yet, but I just have this feeling that it's another girl. Don't get me wrong please, I LOVE being a mommy to my little girl and would be thrilled to have another. I guess I'm just struggling with the guilt of feeling jealous rather than just happy for her. (I would never tell her this). All of my sisters in law wanted sons and got them. I feel like the oddball out. Can anyone relate? :wacko:
     
  2. CB33

    CB33 Well-Known Member

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    I feel the same about having a daughter. I've two beautiful sons but really want a little girl. 12 weeks pregnant too. Hoping you get your boy �� Feelings of jealousy are natural when your heart is set on a particular gender x
     
  3. MrsB_2015

    MrsB_2015 Well-Known Member

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    We're on opposite sides, but you understand! I just don't want to feel really disappointed when we find out, you know? I want to feel excited for her if she's a girl and not grieving, if that makes sense. Honestly, I might just have to give myself a little grace for a few days. I hope you get your baby girl! Since you're 12 weeks also, will you be waiting until 20 weeks to find out? We got a private scan at 17 weeks last time, we didn't want to wait.
     
  4. WackyMumof2

    WackyMumof2 Well-Known Member

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    I'm on the other side of the fence. I'm pregnant with with #4 and just found out that this is our 4th boy (radiology thinks anyhow but it's hard to be too sure as the cord is in the way a bit too). Hubby desperately wants a little girl. We love our boys and wouldn't change them for the world but it just seems like his own little princess is missing. And I'm just so OVER the endless amounts of Lego and Hot Wheels but that's what my 2 eldest are into, that's where DS3 is going so this one will most likely follow suit. This little one won't be looked at any different and won't be loved any less but I can see how hurt hubby is. It sucks. And there will most likely NEVER be the little girl he wants. I was thinking about it in a few years about trying one last time for a girl but I'm just so sore and exhausted this pregnancy I think I am done - in fact, I'm 80% I'm done.
     
  5. CB33

    CB33 Well-Known Member

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    I've booked a gender scan at 16 weeks and I also took one of those blood tests, pink or blue (although they can be unreliable I heard) so find out the results of that next week. Just praying it's a daughter. If bottle give me time to get used to the idea of having another little boy.
    Fingers crossed you get you blue bundle ��
     
  6. 6lilpigs

    6lilpigs Well-Known Member

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    Have you had your 12-13 week scan yet Mrs H? We might e able to have a guess for you, it could well be your little man in there:)
     
  7. MrsB_2015

    MrsB_2015 Well-Known Member

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    We plan on trying for 5 total, so I know that I'm not throwing in the towel any time soon. I just wanted a boy before a bunch of girls. I grew up with boy cousins (hardly any girls) so hot wheels and legos and Lincoln logs were pretty much my childhood. I think I would make a great boy mom and would love the opportunity. I am very sorry you're facing this possible disappointment right now. I sincerely hope that you get a huge happy surprise, and that this baby is the princess you're both hoping for. :flower:
     
  8. MrsB_2015

    MrsB_2015 Well-Known Member

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    We were thinking of booking a scan that early again, but I think we're going to wait until 20 weeks this time. Just to make sure there's no possible confusion or mystery! I hope you get your pink! Let me know the results of the test! I have been going back and forth between trying one.
     
  9. MrsB_2015

    MrsB_2015 Well-Known Member

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    Nope. I had a scan at 9 weeks (though it was just a quick abdominal scan) and won't get another one until 20 weeks. :nope: I have the scan pictures from my 6 week and 8 week scan (both trans vag) and I uploaded them and everyone said according to the Ramzi theory, it was a girl. :shrug: (Though I forgot to ask during the scan where my placenta was located). So I'm stuck in limbo for the next 8 weeks just waiting!
     
  10. 6lilpigs

    6lilpigs Well-Known Member

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    How many weeks are you now?
     
  11. MrsB_2015

    MrsB_2015 Well-Known Member

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    12 weeks and 1 day. I was super close to 12 weeks when I posted this, which is why I went ahead and said 12 weeks!
     
  12. MrsB_2015

    MrsB_2015 Well-Known Member

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    So I sent in my scan pictures to this website where they read them and try to figure out where your placenta is, using the Ramzi Method. (I know it's not fool proof, but I knew the image was flipped/transverse). They said they located it on the left side (right side of the scan) and even colored in the area. So they are predicting baby girl. I'm not upset, it's what I was expecting. Maybe this will help me get more comfortable with the idea of having a girl, so that when I go in for my gender scan, I won't be hit with disappointment.
     
  13. LadyLovenox

    LadyLovenox Well-Known Member

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    If it makes you feel any better, I was predicted girl based on Ramzi and I'm having another boy.
     
  14. MrsB_2015

    MrsB_2015 Well-Known Member

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    I sure hope that's the case for me. But I'll be happy if we do have another girl. I think I will probably just need a little bit of time to get over the initial disappointment and get excited.
     
  15. LadyLovenox

    LadyLovenox Well-Known Member

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    I hope you get your boy! It's hard...I'm 37 weeks now and still not really excited bc I wanted a girl so badly. I know I'll love him fiercly, it's just hard when you are so disappointed
     
  16. MrsB_2015

    MrsB_2015 Well-Known Member

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    I understand that. It's not a feeling of being disappointed that you have a beautiful, sweet baby. Just that that baby isn't the gender you were hoping for. I've been struggling with feeling guilty because I was thinking that being disappointed about gender meant I was disappointed I was even having this baby, which isn't true at all. I'm very thankful that the ladies on this forum are generally all so understanding and helpful. Will this be your last baby?
     
  17. LadyLovenox

    LadyLovenox Well-Known Member

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    Exactly. I'm grieving for a daughter that I feel I'm missing. Still happy to be having my son. But still such an empty place in my heart, if that makes sense. If I had a guarantee that in three years, I'd be having a daughter, I'd be completely fine. It's the thought of never having a mother-daughter relationship that just kills me. I always was ok w just two kids and done. But now that I dont have a girl, I feel the need to try for a third, though I dont really want a third child. I like the family of 4. But now I feel trapped into trying again. Dh wants to be done. Idk. I asked him if we could just adopt a daughter in a few years. No risk of another boy. If I had a third son, I think I'd really be depressed. He said we'll see. But it's soooo expensive. And so much to think about. Idk. How about you? Last baby?
     
  18. MrsB_2015

    MrsB_2015 Well-Known Member

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    Yes, that makes perfect sense. It breaks my heart how expensive adoption is. And doing IVF for gender selection is also so so so expensive. It's just crazy. Maybe in a few years you'll decide you do want to try again. Who knows? A lot can happen in that time. Either way, I hope you get your girl somehow. :hugs: And I guess I'm grieving more for the fact that I won't have an older son, and by the time I (maybe) have one, all his sisters will be older than him and I'm afraid he won't have a good relationship with them because of it. Plus, my mom has all girls, and my DH's mom has 6 girls and he's the only boy, so I just have this fear that I'll not be able to naturally conceive a boy. And we plan on trying for 5 kids. We agreed on it early in our marriage, before we even started trying. This will be our second. So, I know I have more time. I just really wanted an older son to grow up with all these boy cousins. Everyone I know who's pregnant right now is having a boy and it just seems so unfair.
     
  19. storm4mozza

    storm4mozza Rowan, Sofia-Anne & no #3

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    I did get my boy and my girl, I was never disappointed (I didn't realize until a while down the road that I wanted a girl) however... I was convinced that I was carrying a boy, because I grew up thinking I would have two boys.. so when they said 'it's a girl' it was a big shock. I loved my little girl just as much as her big brother but in all honesty, I did find it extremely hard to bond with my daughter after she was born, it took 2 yrs for the bond to come and it just hit me like a ton of bricks out of no where whilst she was sitting on toilet in mcdonalds..

    Please don't feel bad for feeling jealous.. jealousy is a normal emotion and nothing to be ashamed of :hugs:
     
  20. MrsB_2015

    MrsB_2015 Well-Known Member

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    I just found out today that I am indeed having another girl. It's still sinking in. I am happy! A little disappointed, yes, but overall, I am happy and seeing her little face and listening to her heart beat was lovely. ❤
     

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