Just want to scream

[Reedy]

Anyone else feel like this?
Hubby has told me he isnt ready for a baby yet but I'm so broody at the minute. Everytime I turn the t.v on someone has found out they are pregnant or they have just had a baby, its driving me up the wall. I dont feel like there is anyone I can talk to about this bcus they all say your time will come & you've only just got married blah blah blah
We have been together for 6 & a half years so not like we havent had anytime together we have our own house & both have well paid jobs. he says he does want kids but not yet.
I dont feel like I can talk to him about how I feel because I dont want him to think I'm pressuring him in to it (somethng he has said b4)
I'm just so ready to be a mum I just feel like I'm fighting a losing battle sometimes x
I'm 25 next month & Hubby has just turned 29 I know people will say 25 is still young but to be honest i feel old. no offence to anyone else but I dont want to be in my 30's when i have my first x

Anyone else feel the way I do??? please tell me I'm not the only one??

 

[Chris77]

Awww hun I felt the same way when DH and I first got engaged - it was 3 long years before we were finally ready to TTC. I'll be 31 in December. The best advice I can give is to try to do something else in the meantime to keep your mind occupied. Maybe take a couple of classes at a college. The time will go by quickly - I know that isnt what you want to hear right now but it DOES go by quickly.

 

[golcarlilly]

Hey chick Just wondered what are his reasons for not wanting a family just yet? Sometimes I think men are just afraid of all the changes it will make to their lives.

I had my DD when I was 23 ( got married first time at 20) and I felt old then but looking back I was so young! (will prob be 40 by the time I even conceive next time!)

I think if you haven't already you should pin him down and find out his reasons

 

[Reedy]

I have asked him if its money he's worried about he said No I've asked him if he's worried our sexlife will go down the pan he said no I asked if he's worried about anything & he said No he's just not ready yet. I think thats what makes it more fustrating the fact that he's just not ready. I think I'm finding it hard to believe bcus he's nearly 30 lol & its not like he's never been around kids b4 he's amazing with our nieces (5 & 2) & they adore him x

 

[golcarlilly]

Maybe he just thinks your relationship will change - which it will but hopefully for the better, you will be a family!

Can you 'borrow' your neices for a day and take them somewhere fun and show him what family life will be like? I know that is what made me want a baby before I had my DD, my OH and I met a couple when we were on hols and they had a little boy and suddenly I was overcome with broodiness seeing them as a little family!

 

[Dream.A.Dream]

Just wanted to say i know exactly how you feel and it's the most frustrating thing in the world!

 

[Reedy]

We spend a lot of time with them anyway lol just hope this isnt wants putting him off lol altho cant see it myself bcus they are such good little girls x

 

[Rumpskin]

I can relate to you totally lovely.

I am 37 and it has taken me nearly 9 years for OH to agree to TTC. It nearly broke us up.

Our situation is slightly different in that he is 43 and he has 3 kids already.

The only reassuring thing is that your DH wants children but not quite yet. Do you know when he wants to start trying.

I wish you all the luck in the world xxx

 

[Reedy]

Rumpskin - thats the fustrating thing he hasnt said all he's said to me is 'I'll know when I'm ready' I know I'm probably being so silly over this seeing as people have a lot more to deal with & I feel bad for moaning about it all the time but its driving me crazy its sounds so stupid but after BD I go to the toilet & cry bcus I think that sperm (sorry TMI) could be making us a baby instead its being wasted (sounds silly I know)
I've waited 6 & a half long years to marry him & that was bcus he wasnt ready I just feel like he gets to make all the decisions in our relationship & what I want doesnt matter x He got to decide when we got a house together (I was ready b4 he was) He got to decide when he asked me to marry him (again I was ready b4 him) & now this x
Sorry for the long moan x

 

[doc123]

Its all about perspective darling!!!!

I gave my hubby the news about my bfp.. he was in shock for 2 days but was delighted.. when i got ill and was taken into hospital he said he has never wanted that baby more than when he thought it might not happen.. even though we are in turmoil about whats happening right now and it might not work.. but i think even before it happened and we had the bfp.. he said it was cool but it never really hit home to him till we had the bfp.......and the chance it might not happen or he might lose me in the process as i was really ill..

Stay positive.. talk it over in a non-confrontational way.. you will never be ready.. try to reach a middle ground about trying from a given date and then just wait and ttc at that time i guess.. it is tricky!!!!!!! Good luck.. youve already made some progress honey.. your relationship sounds really strong.. go for it! YOU WILL NEVER BE FULLY READY!!!!!!!

 

[colesmom]

Yeah 25 is young but your DH needs to concider that if yall want more than one child its better to start sooner than later because their is higher risks of complications the older you are

 

[Lacey]

I know how you feel, hun. It hurts terribly to want something with all your heart, but have to wait for the sake of someone else. On the bright side, the reward is usually sweeter for having waited.

The only thing I can suggest to speed the hubby along is sit him down and explain how you feel in a non-confrontational manner. Avoid making accusations (i.e. "You do this", "You said that") and talk primarily about your own feelings. Acknowledge the fact that he feels like he's not ready, but ask him to take your feelings into consideration, and ask him to at least -think- about setting a date. Waiting in general is a helluva lot easier when you have a secific day or time to look forward to.

Also, bear in mind that a lot of men are dead set against having babies until they learn that their OH is pregnant. Seeing the baby they made together alive and breathing is usually what makes them happy to be dads.

I hope this helps. Good luck!

 

[jesterjigger]

((((hugs)))) I agree with the others, in a non-confrontational way talk to him about why...specifics, not just "he's not ready". Do you know anyone with a little boy for him to spend time with? Your nieces may be angels, but he might warm up to the idea more after spending time with a little boy, especially if he wants a boy more than a girl.

 

[Mrs Doddy]

Bloody hell are you me lol - love I feel exactly the same and the same age as you and H is the same age as yours - it is sooooo hard isn't it. I have got to the stage that if i see a baby I am close to tears that I want one so much. As for your H it is so hard not to say anything - but at the same time you can't wait forever

 

[LeaArr]

Guys are so strange. I think a lot of it has to do with them knowing that EVERYTHING is going to change, and they are horrible creatures of habit. I got my DH to agree to babies by telling him that I would have young strapping sons for him that would be interested in target shooting with him.