Just want to wallow where I know people will understand

[leesa73]

Yes, I know I am only on my 3rd cycle TTC. Yes, I know that it can take time. Yes, I know I need to relax. But I can't.

I am 36 (37 in September.) My mom has the BRCA gene (hereditary breast and ovarian cancer) and I have a 50% chance of having it myself. If I do have the gene, I have an 85% chance of getting breast cancer and a 60% chance of ovarian cancer - and my docs want my ovaries and breasts removed by 40 so that I lower my risk. So time to get pregnant, be pregnant and breastfeed is running out. I have a short LP that is not getting any longer despite B6 and soy. I was CONVINCED yesterday I had IB, but my temp dropped today to just above my coverline, and I'm spotting again. A drop at 9dpo with some spotting would be fabulous for someone with a normal LP, but it most likely means I'm out. Next month is my last month trying. If it doesn't happen I need to go on the pill to prevent ovulation til I have my surgery. Every month I ovulate is risky for me.

It's not gonna happen. Not in time at least. You know, I put this off for almost nine years of marriage, never wanted kids. Your mom gets diagnosed with stage 3 cancer and you get told that you may get it and never be able to have kids, and that your husband needs to prepare himself, and your world changes in an instant. And if I do get this cancer and am gone at an early age my husband will be all alone. And it will be my fault because I waited too long and now my stupid body won't cooperate.

Ok, pity party over. Thanks for listening to me rant.

 

[tbuns]

I'm so sorry you have to go through this. Remember - You do not have a death sentence, there is no guarantee you'll get cancer! But your fears are not unfounded... I wish I could say more to make you feel better...

 

[Emmy1987]

Hey hon, I have the BRCA1 gene, I found out when I was 18 after losing my mum at 16. I know how daunting it is to have that certainty over your head.

I'm only 22 now I know, and the gene is my reason for starting to TTC this early, because I know I will have to have the surgery you're on about.

Go and see your doctor and explain you WANT KIDS before all of this happens, yes it's a preventative surgery and going on the pill is preventative etc but it's your body, you will have luck with TTC I'm sure and you can do the preventative stuff when YOU'RE ready, not when you have to be.

Good luck TTC and for you xxx

 

[leesa73]

Hey hon, I have the BRCA1 gene, I found out when I was 18 after losing my mum at 16. I know how daunting it is to have that certainty over your head.

I'm only 22 now I know, and the gene is my reason for starting to TTC this early, because I know I will have to have the surgery you're on about.

Go and see your doctor and explain you WANT KIDS before all of this happens, yes it's a preventative surgery and going on the pill is preventative etc but it's your body, you will have luck with TTC I'm sure and you can do the preventative stuff when YOU'RE ready, not when you have to be.

Good luck TTC and for you xxx

I'm so sorry about your mom... I am 20 years older than you were when it happened (and my mom is still here) and I am a MESS, so I can't even imagine what you went through at such an early age. And how brave of you to have taken the test so early... I haven't been able to get to that place yet. Good luck to you as well.

 

[Emmy1987]

I'm just such a nosey so and so that I just had to know. I went in there for the results knowing what they would be, and my mum's twin came with me and sobbed but I was fine.

It's not a nice thing to go through, but as I say, your past is what makes you the person you are now. Good Luck xx

 

[schnoodle]

oh hunny im so sorry. i dont know what to say, but hugs hunny x

 

[Emmy1987]

Thank you just concentrating on making a grandbaby now