Just when I think I'm doing good..

[cleckner04]

DH and I know a husband and wife that are pregnant right now. We don't hang out with them regularly but we both happened to be pregnant at the same time. I was a week ahead of her in our pregnancies. Well, when I had my MC I couldn't even talk to them anymore. I know that is heartless of me but I couldn't even think of her without thinking that our babies would be almost the exact same age. Well, I get on myspace every once in a while to see how she is doing. Tonight I got on, only to find out that they already know they are having a boy.. I don't know why but this REALLY hurts me to think about. It should've been me knowing what I'm having too. I would be over halfway through my pregnancy by now and I'm not! Now I'm just a bitter woman who can't stand the thought of everyone else having babies but me. I wanted a boy and she gets hers while I am stuck crying over my lost baby. I just hate feeling so bitter. I want to be happy for them but it's so hard. Not to mention, I have another friend that likes to rub it in my face that she has a baby. UGH! I know I'm just having a bad night. I feel like such a bitch for having these thoughts sometimes. I just needed to rant a little.

 

[eclipse]

I totally understand where you are coming from. I have been there. It will get better, I promise. Oh, and that friend that likes to rub your face in it? Kick her for me, will ya? kthanxbai haha

 

[buffycat]

it is only natural to feel this way, and i can assure you that with time...the bitterness will go.....

my friend was pregnant just befoe me, but i had a mc...she didn't know that i was pregnant (let alone the mc) so that probably helped.....she has a lovely little girl now.....whereas we have nothing......we are still trying though, but in the meantime, i get to see my friends little girl lots and lots....

take care though...
luv & hugs

 

[Flossie03]

Don't feel bad, it is completely normal to feel like this, I think that is one of the hardest things about experiencing a loss, the fact that afterwards wherever you go and whoever you see there seem to be constant reminders

 

[moomoo]

Im going through the same at the moment, except i sit next to (at work) a girl who is 2 weeks ahead of what i would have been. Some days i struggle to go to work...And i cant help but feel bitter about the whole situation xx

 

[Rumpskin]

We all know how you are feeling sweety. It is so difficult not to think about what could have been.

 

[ClaireyF]

aww poor you hun.... My DH and i were so excited that we were having a baby and starting the family we had dreamed of but in july i had a mc my best friend who has a really rocky relationship with her bf announced to me that she was pregnant and i would have been a week ahead of her. they don't have anything sorted for when the baby arrives and taking for granted that their families will buy everything for them and they are moving back home to live with her mother. i can understand you feel so angry and bitter. i felt the same and couldnt even talk to my friend. Even though i'm pg again now doesn't make the pain any easier! alls she does is moan about her aches and pains and feeling fat and it really P***** me off!!

Sorry to rant aswell. I really hope that you have a happy and heathly pregnancy when you are ready to try again. big hugs xxx

 

[Drazic<3]

Aww, im sorry hun. That sounds so hard.
Dont feel bad for feeling like this, i agree with the other girls, its completely natural. Just dont forget that this will happen for you too, and when you are ready im sure you will get your bfp and have all the experiences you are longing for now

 

[cleckner04]

Thanks so much girls! I was feeling so bad last night. Now I woke up to all the good words this morning. I was never this bitter before all of this happened. I feel like this MC has changed me alot. Some good ways and some bad. I know I'll probably be a better mother now that I really know what I'm missing. Some women just get it so easy that they take it for granted...And part of me is just mad that the women that MC are usually the women that would be the best mothers. Some women don't even want their babies and we all wanted ours so bad. It is like the universe is backwards when it comes to giving people kids.

 

[ClaireyF]

i think you've summed it up perfectly! big hugs xxx

 

[adzuki]

HUGE hugs!!!

I would be surprised if you wouldn't have felt that way! To have a constant reminder of what could have been... I hope that your friend understands and is sensitive about it, at least.

I wish you lots of baby dust, and lots of sticky dust too!!!!

hugs!
A

 

[The Catster]

Aw hun, it's only natural to feel the way you do!

I had a mc last Aug, after my SIL having one shortly b4 me, then she went on to get pg again and having a little girl in April this year (Faith)! I had another mc in March....and still am TTC, having had a turbulent 8 months since.

I didn't grieve for my first mc baby lost at 13 weeks and my 2nd mc baby it hit me full force!!! I realise now that you have to grieve as you have suffered a loss.

I am now Godmother to Faith.

Now I thoroughly understand what you go through when you have a mc, so I just absolutely love pregnant ppl and wish they are not to go through what happened to me.....anger and jealousy at an early stage of loss is natural, so do not beat yourself up! Your turn will come!!!

xxx