Keeping TTC a Secret

[FivexFive]

Hey folks! Is anyone else here not sharing with family and friends that they are TTC? I have found that this means that I have no one to obsess over everything with (DH is very zen right now and keeps saying "Whatever happens, happens...) Anyone willing to squee with me? I am 7dpo and I *think* I had implantation bleeding this afternoon and now I'm excited and nervous but don't want to get my hopes up and basically going a bit batty.

Anyone else keeping TTC on the DL? How are you dealing?

 

[bclaytonsc]

I am! I think it's very normal to keep TTC between you and your DH. A few of my very close friends know, but that's it. I wouldn't want to tell my family just in case TTC takes a while, or we have a loss. There are certain people I wouldn't want to know.

I'm excited for you!! FX you get your sticky bean! I'm on CD 12 and still having sticky/lotiony CM so I'm thinking O is a bit out yet. I'm still trying to figure out what's normal for me coming off BCP.

 

[thencomesbebe]

I wanted to keep it a secret SO bad, but then mil came to visit and she was like: "Why aren't you having wine? Why aren't you having coffee? Why aren't you eating salami and soft cheese?" The first DAY she got here (we're in Italy currently). I just felt it was easier to tell her than dodge questions for 2 weeks and since I told her I had to tell MY parents, so now the cats out of the bag, oh well. Still don't feel like sharing the journey with anyone except you gals and DH. No one else will obsess over this journey like other women going through the same thing

FX for you five!!!

 

[Rosslyn]

We're not telling anyone. Or, at least, I'm not. My husband told his mom but I don't want anyone else to know. I'm afraid people will start asking and offering advice if it takes time. Good luck!

 

[belle_]

This was a conversation that we had a little while ago. We decided only to tell two close friends in confidence that we are actively trying to get pregnant (I had to tell SOMEONE) but are keeping it a secret for the most part from everyone else. We also don't want more questions if it takes longer than we had hoped. Our families are lovely - but very nosey! Ha!

FX for you!

 

[FivexFive]

Yeah, I am worried about it taking a long time. I am symptom spotting like crazy right now and wish I could fast forward a few days. Took a test this morning (9dpo) but got a BFN. I’m still 6 days out from AF so not out, but it still sucks.
Baby dust to you all!!!! Fx

 

[AmandaB23]

It's hard not to have someone to vent to! My husband is also being totally relaxed about it while I'm obsessing over every sign and symptom. I would be really worried about telling people and it taking a while to conceive though, so for now I'll keep my mouth sealed!

 

[CallieB]

I'm also 7dpo and trying to keep it a secret. My sister knows but only because she lives with us and there is only so much you can hide from those living with you. Had cramping really low today and was super nauseous this morning. Hoping it leads to a BFP!
Good luck everyone.

 

[becsboo]

me and we wont be telling people till at least 12 weeks x

 

[crusherwife44]

So my regulation for work (military) says I have to tell them within 2 weeks of having a doctor confirmation blood test... So I think I'm going to wait to even get that until 12 weeks. Some close friends know. No family.

 

[CheshireDucky]

Our parents know we're TTC just to get them off our backs. His mom doesn't want to know anything until I'm in labor since she used to work in a fertility clinic and knows how it can go. We decided not to tell anyone when I get pregnant until I'm 27 weeks.

 

[Dill]

So we're TTC #2, not #1, but we are absolutely keeping it a secret this time so people won't constantly ask us how it's coming along. No pressure, no pity if it doesn't happen, no "have you tried?" or "maybe you should..." if they don't think it's happening fast enough. Everyone was all up in my vagina last time, and I won't have it this time. It was heartbreaking after I repeatedly had miscarriages and didn't want to tell people, and they kept going, "OMG, you're still not pregnant?!" and offering their "helpful" advice. Like seriously, stay out of it!

I have no intentions of telling anyone until after we conceive and get the chromosomal testing done and results back. I don't want to announce and discover that there's a fatal abnormality or something.

 

[cb86]

Didn’t tell anyone last time and not this time either

To me it’s kinda personal between me and husband, I don’t want people asking etc

Plus it’s nice to suprise people when you can announce

 

[Amethyste]

I ve told my close friends, my mum and my aunty (in confidence) . I ve not talked anybody at work even thought I get on well with them and joke about lots of stuff. I ve not told any of DH 's family, too much pressure, I am even tempted to wait til 12 week scan cos they get excited about babies so much I found it hard to handle with the first one. They were going on about buying the baby's bed and I wasn't even sure the baby was alright.

 

[AnjaaniPari]

Me and my DH are in the same boat. We haven't told anyone that we are planning to start TTCing once this cycle starts (hopefully that will be any day now). I just don't want the pressure of having people keep asking me, or looking at my stomach every time I see them, or people telling me that having kids isn't going to be easy/asking me if I'm sure I am ready.
I don't think I would tell my mom until about 6-8 weeks and definitely not DH's mom until the first trimester is over. I am a bit worried though because currently we live with my mom, and I have to take Clomid to see if I will ovulate... I don't know if ill have any side effects but if I do I'm worried she will notice.
I did tell my best friend that I am tired of waiting for the 'right time' and she agreed that life is too short to keep waiting for perfect timing.
Other than that, its just something between DH and I which I why this community is so great! Being able to vent/share your concerns and excitement with others that are also on the journey and wont judge you is just what I (and I'm sure many of you) need throughout this time!

Baby dust to all of you trying !

 

[Canadiana]

I've literally never heard of anyone telling their family and friends that they are TTC. How strange.

 

[housewifey]

We didn't plan on but I've ended up telling a few close friends simply because I'm a terrible liar and we got onto talking about contraception and I couldn't answer!

I warned them though, no symptom spotting or getting excited if I'm not having a drink because that doesn't mean I am, just means I've chose not to that night!

I'm super close to my friends and with them having children recently as well, they can give me some advice and alleviate any worries I've got.

 

[JennP]

I'm not wanting to tell anyone either. As mentioned, i don't want the... "how's it going.. have you tried...." we're just going to go with it and see what happens. My husband's parents have been dying for their first grand baby so they cant wait, but we may hold off and start trying in the new year instead. We will see.
I agree that that's why i like this forum. I joined for this exact reason. I don't want to tell everyone, so now i have people to talk to and ask questions and read posts from. It's been great so far!

 

[FivexFive]

BFN last month so back to the beginning. Whenever someone at my work is sick everyone at my office always asks "OMG are you pregnant???" I can't wait to be like "um yes!":happy dance:

DH is going to be on a work trip this month during the TWW so I will be on my own symptom spotting. I have a feeling I'm going to spill to a friend.



Fx for you all!