Kids party invite

[ItsJana]

My 5 yr old was invited to a kids party at the end of the month. The invite says to just drop off the kid at their house at a certain time...no adults. I have talked to the kids mom once last year and since then nothing. I've seen her around the school, but she never smiles, never says hi and belongs to the playground clique at the school that can be quite rude. My dd is friends with her dd, but I don't feel comfortable just dropping my dd off at this woman's house for a few hours, I just don't know her. I'm also a little apprehensive because last time my kids were invited anywhere my oldest apparently took this kids crayons (my kids aren't perfect, I might have believed it if my youngest was accused) and this little girl told me my youngest dd was crying because this boy rolled over her (the woman who was "watching" these kids didn't witness anything, but she said there is no way that this boy would ever do such a thing. That woman never liked me and I think my kids made for easy targets. I'm worried this could happen again.

 

[seoj]

TBH- I find that a bit odd? I mean, I understand dropping a bigger kid off, and we've had parties at our house for our oldest like that- but never discouraged the parents from coming (but when your kid is 13- lol- makes more sense)- I was even surprised by how many parents didn't even come in to introduce themselves. Out of like 10 kids- I think 2 parents came and said hey. Most we'd never met?!

But 5yrs old... I wouldn't take my kid and not go in and chat it up for a bit. Maybe if I really knew the woman I'd be Ok leaving my kid- but at that age I'd think parents should be welcome to stay too??? No clue what the "cut-off" would be-- my LO is only 3, and our oldest was 9yrs by the time I became her full time parent. So she was old enough to have parties and be dropped off- but we still always met and chatted with the parents first.

Sorry- I'm sure that doesn't help you any... just do what you are comfy with.

 

[hattiehippo]

I personally wouldn't be sending my son to the party with everything you've said. I wouldn't be happy leaving him there and he also wouldn't want to stay in a strange place on his own yet.

All children are different but I doubt I'm going to be able to leave my DS at a party on his own for a few more years yet and I really wouldn't like an invitation for a 5 yr old that said no adult to stay.

 

[Quartz]

It can be quite normal for people to drop 5 year olds off at parties but also quite normal to stay - it tends to be parental choice I think depending on the child and whose the party is. DD certainly goes off for playdates without me so I dont particularly think that it is odd for not all the parents to stay at the party - particularly if there are only a handful going.

Was the incident with the woman whose party it is I am assuming not so I would not take that as being standard.

If her DD and yours are friends I would try chatting to her and see what she says. I think that should give you an idea. It maybe that she thinks she is being helpful by saying no adults or that most are happy to drop off but you might want to stay

 

[RachA]

If the two children are friends then I wouldn't be overly concerned. Sometimes having the parents there can actually make it hard to get on with the party. My son was slightly older (turning 7) but when he had his party in the summer lots if the parents hung around and I felt like I had to talk to them when really I should of been organising the games. To me it felt rude leaving the parents.

I don't think you need to know or get on with the other child's parents in order for them to go to a party but I would go out of my way to try and chat to the mum.

 

[jd83]

Hmm, my son is 4 1/2 and I can't imagine just dropping him off at a party and leaving for several hours in just a few months when he is 5. He's still young, and if I wasn't very close with the parents, its just still to young to just leave IMO. That seems more appropriate for older kids birthdays.

 

[ItsJana]

It's just too bad I have to tell my dd she can't go, it would have been nice to receive the invite at the school, instead of passing it to dd randomly...then maybe I could have talked to the mom. Dd just turned 5 last month, so she's one of the younger ones in her class. I promised her we'd do something special that day instead. I just can't imagine anyone just dropping off their little kids at my house without first getting to know me, so I hope this woman understands.

 

[lindseymw]

In terms of dropping kids off, it seems quite normal here when the party is in the house. Most houses would struggle to hold 10 kids + 10 adults here.

Joshua went to one last year, he was 4. I stayed for about 5mins then went as did all of the other parents. I didn't know the child's parents as they both work so a childminder drops him off at School.

 

[Vickie]

At all the parties Hannah's been invited to parents were given the option of staying. (she's 6). We stay or go depending on our level of comfort with the people hosting the party, location etc.

 

[EcoMama]

i understand were you're coming from but by not letting her go don't you worry that you're isolating yourself from ever getting to know parent?.... this might be your chance to make a new parent friend? x

 

[ItsJana]

Well I've talked to this mom once before. She sees me when I pick up my daughter from school but has never talked to me, said hi or made eye contact after that. Her dd is friends with my dd, Id like to know all my dds friends parents, they just don't all want to know me. My dds go to a religious private school and visually I just don't fit in and feel very judged. Since I don't dress like these women I'm already isolated, but I'm not going to dress like them for their acceptance. My dd can be friends with whoever she wants, but at her age I need to know the parents before she goes to their home without me. Again this party is just a drop off your kids party...no adults.

 

[EcoMama]

yeah I can't be doing with parents like that! clicky!.... my son is 5, and I think he's too young, unless I knew the parent well x