kind of unnecessary!!

[Beany2]

i'm sure after you've read this you'll be thinking "crazy woman" but kinda felt i needed some reassurance anyway!

basically, DH and i aren't in the best financial situation (like most people). we're renting a tiny flat at the mo, hubby has quite a lot of debt to pay off and we haven't got a huge amount of savings. we always said that ideally we'd like to buy our own place before starting a family but we're coming to think that it's going to have to be the other way round!

both our families are quite "traditional" (bit old fashioned but v supportive) and we always thought that when the time was right we'd be living in our own place, etc but it definitely looks now like we'll be living in rented for the foreseeable future. Family is really important to us both and we're looking to hopefully ttc next year.

how has everyone else coped? anybody living in rented when they had their first then managed to buy after that? sorry this is really rambling and probably sounds really silly

 

[babyblog]

"if u wait till you can afford a family you'll never have one"

 

[Beany2]

that's almost exactly what my mum said to me! very true as well.

i guess with this being #1 it's just nice to have some reassurance from people who've already done it!

scary but v exciting!

 

[Char&Bump-x]

I'm renting, and planning my second baby. I dont have any plans to buy yet as im only 19, but if i wanted to save the money for it right now i could probably save £150ish a month x

 

[Cornbread]

"if u wait till you can afford a family you'll never have one"

This.

 

[darkNlovely]

buying a home is not for everyone and besides some buy and then lose it. Don't try to keep up with the "jones" If you wait for the perfect time to be debt free and own a home before having a child then you will most likely never end up having one, before you know it life will pass you by and you will be saying I wish I had. In this day and age most people are not entirely debt free-even the ones that own a home don't really own it until it is all paid off right? All that matters is that you have roof over your head and food in the kitchen. I am renting and have no hopes of buying a home where I live. I plan to build a retirement home back home where I was born.

 

[Rei]

never had kids yet, but I can tell you one thing, growing up my family always rented by the time I was 5 years old we owned a home by the time I was 8 we lived in a 4 bedroom two and a half bathroom home complete with jacuzzi hot tub ^_^ but when I was little my father got in a terrible accident and we were living off of food stamps.....grant it my parents eventually got divorce and it's just me and my mom renting an appartment but still.....just because you're renting now doesn't mean you won't own a home in the future.

 

[missvikki88]

Well I'm almost 22 and have just finished university. I have a full time job starting in September but i am going to live at home for another year and a half to save and buy. People ask me why i don't just rent to get out of home with OH quicker. It is personally because i want to buy but everyone is different. I am WTT for at least another 2 years and that is purely because i still live at home. If i was renting it would be a different story. I think when you buy it does put everything on hold because it all takes that much longer. I think there is nothing wrong with renting and having a baby, you have a roof over your head and everything else sorted. People bring babies into much worse environments!!!!

 

[pumpkim]

I think things have changed over the last couple of years and more people will be renting for longer because of the hefty deposits that mortgage companies want now. We bought when the economy was in better shape but if we were just starting out now we would have to rent and I wouldn't put my family on hold because as others said, it would probably never be the right time

 

[AnnaBanana9]

"if u wait till you can afford a family you'll never have one"

Ditto.

That's what we were told before we had Alyssa, and it's one of the truest things I've heard. Things honestly DO work out honey.

xx

 

[Beany2]

thanks everyone - i know really that we will manage fine and we will have so much support from family and friends. I think it's just a bit of fear of the unknown and really wanting to do our best.

DH has some aunties who are VERY keen to be great aunties - one has already said she's going to throw me a babyshower!

it's nice to have some support and reassurance from you ladies on here too. i'm sure i'll be asking for all sorts of hints and tips in the future!xxx

 

[silverbell]

Blimey I could have written that first post myself!

We're in exactly the same situation.

We came to the conclusion that we would have to save up for at least 5 years or so to even get close to the deposits required these days (which are, quite frankly, ridiculous). This 5 years would have to be without any savings made elsewhere (such as for a baby fund).

Given that we're both 30 next year and would like 2 or more children, we decided to put house-buying on hold and just continue to rent for the foreseeable future.

It's not ideal, but renting does have its advantages too and at least we won't have a massive mortgage payment to make every month whilst trying to raise kids.

It took a bit of getting used to, but we're perfectly happy with our decision now and both sets of parents are not surprised we don't own a home yet, given the costs of houses and the deposits and mortgage repayments etc.

I think you're doing the right thing and don't worry about what anybody else thinks - it's your life and you know what's right.

 

[Beany2]

wow, thanks silverbell, your situation sounds so similar to ours!

we were thinking it would be at least five years before we managed to save a (huge) deposit for a house as well. DH is 30 next year and i'm 25 this year. i know that's not old but i've always said i'd like at least one child by the time i'm 30 (various reasons including a family history of v poor fertility) so we've sort of decided to look into getting a bigger rented place and going from there.

have you set a date for ttc? sorry, don't mean to sound nosy

xxx

 

[plutosblue]

I pay for my mothers home but it is mine, the mortgage is just in her name, she has (very graciously) given us her home as this has meant she can move to the coast permanently. So I pay a mortgage, this year we are also getting married and paying for that (somehow).. and my car has just died this week so I need a new one and I plan to TTC September!

Crazy - Definately

Doable- Maybe, but I'm gunna give it a damn good shot!!

You live to your means, so just go for it, I'm not even thinking about the money because I just think somehow, we always cope. Like the others have said, if you wait til you can afford it, you'll never have a family.

 

[Armywife]

Honey, there is always a reason not to have a baby! Its true, the time is never perfectly 'right'. People say things will work and and they do. Whatever worries you have now won't go away but they suddenly seem so insignificant when you have a baby. I could be living in a bedsit eating beans for tea each night and i'd still be happy just being with my princess and i'd still be wanting another baby. The fact that you don't own your home will not matter a dot once you have your baby in your arms, i promise you xxxx

 

[Beany2]

well i think we've kinda come to the conclusion that we'll prob start ttc next summer (2011)! if it goes as fast as this year has it will be here in no time! yay!

 

[Sophie1205]

I have a 16 month old and planning to TTC next year and we live in a rented property. I dont see any problem with it xx

 

[silverbell]

wow, thanks silverbell, your situation sounds so similar to ours!

we were thinking it would be at least five years before we managed to save a (huge) deposit for a house as well. DH is 30 next year and i'm 25 this year. i know that's not old but i've always said i'd like at least one child by the time i'm 30 (various reasons including a family history of v poor fertility) so we've sort of decided to look into getting a bigger rented place and going from there.

have you set a date for ttc? sorry, don't mean to sound nosy

xxx

I'm TTC in August this year and so excited about it!

 

[mightyspu]

It would be easy for me to vote on the side of mortgage before family making, because that's the way round we did it, however, we could not have done it on our own!

To actually afford our house, we were lucky enough to scrape together over £10,000 deposit, and this was November '08, when everything had slumped (and the house was a total bargain in comparisson to nearby properties).

I know the market is still not great, and I am down south (so therefore a little more expensive) but prices for decent sized houses are still stupid. In an ideal world, I would say buy before you try(to conceive) but the property market is still stupid. Nothing will stop you ttc, if that's what you really want, and remember, buying your own home used to be reserved for the really wealthy, around 50 years ago, everybody rented!

Good luck!

 

[Princess_LV]

My OH and I intend to buy before we try, but we also want to start trying by the time I am 24, so it may end up going the other way. OH is dead set on the house first though, as he doesn't see how we will afford to save a deposit while raising a child. I, on the other hand, think you can do both at the same time, provided that, as others have said, you live within your means. He's so dead set on it that he is reluctant to try even if we have the deposit saved, but cannot find somewhere we like! I'm much more relaxed about this... I have no problem looking and even moving with a bump, but he wants everything to be just perfect - life never is! x